Do I Really Have to Be a Shadow Guard?

RAW  ¦  NU

In the third year of Chengqian, the new emperor, Xiao Yinghuai, established the Tiancha Division. Its shadow guard commander, Song Jian, took charge of palace security and intelligence gathering, wielding terrifyingly great authority.

In the sixth year of Chengqian, during a palace coup, a former grand secretary of the previous dynasty colluded with Prince Heng to usurp the throne and was about to be executed by the Tiancha Division’s shadow guards right there in the court.

At the critical moment, someone suddenly came crashing down from the roof of the Golden Throne Hall with a loud crash, and the shadow guard commander landed squarely in Xiao Yinghuai’s arms.

Shouts rang out across the hall: “Protect His Majesty! Protect His Majesty!!”

Song Jian, who had just transmigrated, stared at the man before him in utter horror. “？？？”

Huh??? Protect what????

—

Song Jian had transmigrated into the body of the shadow guard commander, and right after arriving, he had crashed straight into the arms of the current emperor. Whether or not he could be suspected of assassination was one thing, but the key was that he had failed in his duty. According to the Tiancha Division’s rules, he had to receive thirty lashes.

Song Jian knelt in the Imperial Study, his face pale with fright.

Xiao Yinghuai asked him, “Do you accept your punishment?”

Song Jian trembled like a leaf. After a long while, he finally managed to squeeze out a sentence: “No… can I not accept it?”

Xiao Yinghuai: “?”

……

Xiao Yinghuai knew there was a traitor by his side. Without revealing anything, he had laid out an elaborate scheme, waiting for the day of the palace coup to use Song Jian as an example to warn the others.

In the end, Song Jian took a risky move and did not leave him the slightest bit of evidence to seize.

After that, Xiao Yinghuai planted many people to keep an eye on his shadow guard, but the reports they brought back were always:

“Your Majesty, Lord Song fell asleep on the beam in your bedchamber and even had someone bring him a blanket.”

“Your Majesty, Lord Song went to the imperial kitchen to steal pastries again.”

“Your Majesty, Lord Song said… said he really can’t keep working this damn job anymore.”

Xiao Yinghuai: “……”

And then later—

“Your Majesty! Lord Song was caught flirting with the Vice Minister of the Ministry of Rites!”

Xiao Yinghuai’s vision went black.

Gritting his teeth, he said, “Bring him back for me.”

—

Being a shadow guard was not easy at all. You couldn’t eat your fill or dress warmly, had to be on call twenty-four hours a day, and even had to sleep on roof beams every day. With two huge dark circles under his eyes, Song Jian cursed Emperor Xiao Yinghuai under his breath every day.

Later, Xiao Yinghuai had a change of heart and said he would grant him one wish.

Song Jian obediently stood with his hands behind his back and said, “Can I not sleep on the roof beams? I-I have a bad sleeping posture. I tend to fall off.”

Xiao Yinghuai let out a slow laugh. “Granted.”

That very night, Song Jian was tied up on the imperial bed.

Xiao Yinghuai lightly hooked a finger around his sash, his voice low and deep. “Lord Song, what a waist.”

Song Jian: “？？？”

—

Song Jian: Can I stop being a shadow guard?

Xiao Yinghuai: You can be the empress instead.

● A silly, chaotic comedy—absurd, slightly steamy, and sweet.

● Low-level palace politics, zero logic, wild and unrestrained—just sit back and laugh.

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