DIHBSG chapter 31

Inside the Imperial Study.

Xiao Da knelt close beside Xiao Yongning, while Xiao Yongning pressed up against Song Jian. The three of them knelt in a neat row, their attitude of admitting fault maxed out.

A minister who had been summoned to be scolded glanced to the left, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and considered whether he should kneel over there too.

At least they would all be kneeling together.

Xiao Yinghuai stopped reviewing memorials and stared at the three of them. “Are you going to speak up yourselves, or go outside and take a beating first?”

The three of them all shuddered.

Then three chaotic voices rang out at once.

“This subordinate knows he was wrong!”

“Imperial Brother, spare my life!”

“This younger brother will speak first!”

The Imperial Study fell into a deathly silence.

Two seconds later—

“This subordinate wants to ask for leave!”

“This younger sister wants to go out and have fun!”

“This younger brother hired an opera troupe!”

The three of them spoke in a staggered rhythm, one after another, without a single word overlapping.

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

Xiao Da anxiously poked Xiao Yongning. Xiao Yongning, not understanding why, poked Song Jian. Song Jian looked up with a bewildered expression, only to discover the man’s gaze fixed squarely on him.

Hiss.

He steeled himself and shuffled forward a small step. “Y-Your Majesty, I… want to ask for leave…” Oh, why did that even rhyme?

“…”

What is this stupid brain thinking about!

Xiao Yinghuai: “What do you want leave for?”

Song Jian picked at his fingers. “I want to leave the palace with the Grand Princess to have some fun…”

Xiao Yinghuai’s gaze shifted to Xiao Yongning.

Startled, Xiao Yongning hurriedly stammered, “Imperial Brother… I—I wanted to go to Xiao Da’s residence with Lord Song to watch an opera…”

Xiao Da: “…”

Wait, what?

That sharp, cold gaze landed on him again.

He cried out, “Imperial Brother! This younger brother really did hire the troupe while I was still on my way back to the capital! But I didn’t spend much money! I wasn’t extravagant or wasteful! Imperial Brother, please see clearly!”

Thump.

The three of them flopped down onto the floor in perfect sync again.

Xiao Yinghuai had a headache from dealing with the three of them. After frowning for a long moment, he waved a hand.

However, since the people involved were lying flat on the floor, none of them saw it and continued lying there.

Instead, Gong Defu reacted quickly. Sliding over on his knees, he helped Song Jian up.

“Lord Song, quickly leave first with Her Highness the Grand Princess and His Highness Prince Xian. His Majesty has agreed.”

Song Jian quickly stood up. When he raised his head, he discovered the Emperor was looking at him again.

After staring blankly for a moment, he obediently bowed.

“Thank you, Your Majesty! This subordinate will return to the palace on time!”

Xiao Yinghuai said nothing.

“This younger sister takes her leave!”

“This younger brother also takes his leave!”

Song Jian slipped out of the Imperial Study with Xiao Yongning and Xiao Da.

Only Gong Defu noticed that the Emperor’s gaze still lingered on the young man from time to time, and the tightly furrowed brows from before had also relaxed considerably.

After pondering for a while, Gong Defu thoughtfully said, “It has been many years since this servant has seen Your Majesty pay such attention to someone.”

Xiao Yinghuai shot him a cold glance.

Gong Defu: “ovo”

The minister who was still kneeling: “…”

Who am I, where am I, and what am I supposed to do?

—

The next day, Song Jian and Xiao Yongning left the palace together.

He had been abducted to Prince Xian’s residence once before. The first time was unfamiliar, the second time familiar. At this rate, he could almost be considered a returning guest.

Moreover, Song Jian ran into two old acquaintances—the very two people who had thrown a sack over him and kidnapped him before.

Song Jian greeted them enthusiastically.

“Hi~”

The two men: “…”

After entering, Xiao Yongning couldn’t help asking, “You know them?”

Song Jian nodded. “Yeah. They kidnapped me before and put a sack over my head.”

Xiao Yongning: “?”

There were not many guests invited to Prince Xian’s residence today. Aside from Song Jian and Xiao Yongning, there were only a few of Xiao Da’s drinking buddies, all well-known playboys in the capital.

Among them, two had previously been close with the “Semi-Truck” from Cheng Yujin’s family. Their good brother had been raided overnight, exiled, and his entire clan had been sent to the frontier to farm. To say they weren’t scared would be a lie.

They secretly peeked at Song Jian like timid puppies.

Whispering quietly:

“That’s Lord Song from the Tiancha Division, right?”

“Yeah! I even went to watch the day the Cheng residence was raided. He was the one leading the people there.”

“And not long ago, he even accompanied His Majesty to Fuhui Temple for meditation retreat. That’s an enormous favor.”

“Oh, I also heard that when Lord Lin from the Ministry of Works was imprisoned, it was Song Jian who personally interrogated him. Lord Lin barely said a few words before he was beaten unconscious. Extremely brutal.”

That person shivered.

“Let’s stay farther away. Don’t get involved with someone like that. Be careful not to bring trouble upon ourselves.”

Song Jian didn’t hear their whispering. He was gathered together with Xiao Yongning and Danluo, eating pastries and candied fruits.

Xiao Yongning took a bite.

“This one’s delicious! This one’s delicious!”

Song Jian also picked one up.

“Delicious, delicious!”

Several young playboys pushed each other as they headed toward the back to take their seats and watch the opera. Unexpectedly, one of them was in such a hurry that he tripped directly over a pile of ropes and drapes near the stage.

He let out a miserable cry of “Ah!” as he fell, instinctively grabbing the person beside him.

The person beside him also cried “Ah!” as he fell, then grabbed someone else.

“Ah!”

“Ah!!”

By the time Song Jian heard the commotion and turned around, a whole group of people had already become tangled together with the ropes and drapes.

Xiao Yongning blinked.

“What happened?”

Song Jian scratched his head.

“No idea.”

He said, “I’ll go take a look.”

With that, Song Jian got up and walked over. After watching for a while, he realized they were hopelessly tangled together and unlikely to free themselves anytime soon.

He said, “Stay still! I’ll help you!”

They stared at Song Jian in horror.

With a “chua”, Song Jian drew the Yanling Saber at his waist.

“Ahhhhhhh—”

“Don’t chop us—”

“We were wrong—”

“Lord Song, spare us!”

Song Jian’s blade rose and fell, and the ropes and drapes dropped all over the ground.

Looking again, the group had already gone limp from fright.

Song Jian: “?”

What are you all doing?

Just as he finished dealing with them, a loud “dong” rang out from the stage as the gong sounded.

The opera had begun.

Song Jian looked up.

Two people appeared on the stage.

One was dressed as a young maid. Waving her sleeves, she ran onto the stage and shouted,

“So what if you’re a prince! My personality! My dignity! They’re both priceless!”

The other was dressed as a prince…

Wait?

Song Jian narrowed his eyes.

“No one has ever rejected me, Xiao Aotian!”

Song Jian fell silent.

Isn’t that Xiao Da?

The young maid ran across the stage, while Xiao Da chased after her. The young maid couldn’t escape even if she had wings.

Xiao Yongning and Danluo watched excitedly from the side, standing up and applauding.

Song Jian: “…”

He broke.

Nobody had ever told him that everyone in Prince Xian’s residence was an actor.

That very night after watching the opera, Song Jian was even kept there for a “wrap party” banquet.

Xiao Da walked over holding a wine cup.

“Brother Song, what do you think of this prince’s performance?”

Song Jian was at a loss for words. After a while, he said,

“Your Highness Prince Xian, I’m younger than you.”

Xiao Da waved it off.

“Not important, not important! Just tell me, how did this prince perform?”

Song Jian thought for a moment and answered sincerely,

“Brother deserves a beating.”¹“哥见打” (gē jiàn dǎ) is a Chinese internet slang phrase meaning someone is so irritating or over-the-top that they make others want to hit them. It is often used jokingly as a tongue-in-cheek insult rather than a literal threat.

Xiao Da didn’t understand and simply took it as a compliment.

“Wonderful! This prince is going on a touring performance in Jiangnan in the future!”

“I’ll perform for the whole of Great Yan!”

Everyone else in Prince Xian’s residence applauded his lofty ambition.

A moment later, Song Jian also applauded.

What an avant-garde art form.

After that day, Song Jian honestly went to work for quite some time and never mentioned leaving the palace to have fun again, afraid Xiao Da would put on another performance of “The Domineering Prince Falls in Love with Me”.

With the saber at his waist, he strolled leisurely through the palace with Hei Dashuai.

Sure enough, peaceful days were the best.

Song Jian had no idea that, at this very moment, at the Yi residence—

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!”

Yi Geren’s wife stood before the pigsty and screamed.

“Yi! Where’s Huahua?!”

Huahua was a spotted pig.

Yi Geren had recently been promoted and moved his entire family to the capital. Though he wasn’t a particularly high-ranking official, he had at least become an official in the capital under the Son of Heaven.

The only problem was that although they had moved into their new residence, they still couldn’t change the habits they had formed back in Changning.

His wife was his childhood sweetheart. They had grown up together, and after he passed the imperial examination, he returned to marry her.

His wife was wonderful in every way except that she could never let go of the little farming chores from village life. Not only did she love growing crops, but she also loved raising all kinds of livestock.

For example, the spotted pig in their pigsty had been raised by her since it was little.

Yi Geren didn’t even have time to remove his official hat before hurrying over.

“What happened?”

Madam Yi pointed at the pigsty.

“The pigsty’s open! Huahua ran away!!”

Seeing tears well up in his wife’s eyes, Yi Geren hurriedly comforted her.

“Don’t panic, Madam! I’ll send someone to report it to the authorities immediately!”

However, the moment he turned around, Madam Yi let out another scream.

“Ahhhhhhh! Where’s Bao Gong?!”

Bao Gong was the rabbit they kept.

“Ahhhhhhh! Coalball is gone too!”

Coalball was their little white dog.

“Ahhhhhhhh!” Madam Yi was on the verge of fainting. “Where’s my Lamb Skewer?!”

Lamb Skewer was the old goat they kept.

After several screams from Madam Yi, even the elderly steward of the Yi residence, who had been bedridden with illness, was startled into coming out.

He coughed three times with every step.

“Master… Madam… what happened… cough, cough, cough…”

Yi Geren hurried over to support him.

“You’re already in this condition, don’t come out. Be careful. I’ll have Huai Yi report it to the authorities.”

The old steward: “Cough cough cough cough… cough…”

…

Several days later, in the Golden Throne Hall.

Standing behind the assembled officials, Yi Geren stepped forward with trembling legs.

“Your Majesty… this humble official… has a request…”

Xiao Yinghuai asked, “What is it?”

Yi Geren looked haggard. Looking closely, even his hair was somewhat disheveled.

After bowing, he said with great difficulty,

“This humble official… this humble official lost a few things from home.”

Xiao Yinghuai frowned slightly.

Yi Geren quickly knelt down.

“This humble official lost a pig, a rabbit, a rooster, a dog, and an old goat…”

The moment he finished speaking, laughter suddenly echoed through the hall.

Yi Geren looked somewhat embarrassed.

Xiao Yinghuai raised a brow.

“Then shall I reward you with a few more?”

Yi Geren shook his head.

“This humble official thanks Your Majesty for your grace. There is no need for Your Majesty to reward this humble official. The main thing is… the main thing is that they were all raised by this humble official’s wife since they were little. Ever since they ran away, this humble official’s wife has spent every day washing her face with tears. Her health grows weaker by the day. This humble official… truly cannot bear to see it… and could only ask Your Majesty for help…”

“Did you report it to the authorities?”

Yi Geren nodded.

“I did, but the authorities are too busy at the end of the year. They truly can’t spare the manpower to help this humble official… find… find pigs…”

“I understand.”

Tiancha Division.

Song Jian was halfway through sunbathing when he suddenly received a mission.

He looked a little bewildered.

“You’re saying all the animals in Lord Yi’s residence escaped overnight?”

Chang Ying nodded.

“That’s right.”

“You want me to take people to find them?”

“Mm!”

Song Jian: “…”

Fine.

How could a workhorse ever have peaceful days?

He jumped down from the wall.

“Got it. Pack up, we’ve got a case to solve!”

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  “哥见打” (gē jiàn dǎ) is a Chinese internet slang phrase meaning someone is so irritating or over-the-top that they make others want to hit them. It is often used jokingly as a tongue-in-cheek insult rather than a literal threat.