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DIHBSG chapter 32

Spare the Pig!

 

The village where the waiter from Zuixian Tower lived was just one li11 li (里) = 500 meters outside the western outskirts of the capital.

When Song Jian and the other six people and one dog arrived, before they found the rooster that had been crowing nonstop, they spotted an old goat at the village entrance first.

The old goat wandered along leisurely, lowering its head to eat grass, then raising it again, chewing with its mouth twisted to one side.

Lamb Skewer: “(Chew chew chew) Baa~ (Chew chew chew).”

Song Jian froze for a moment before realizing what he was looking at.

He abruptly stopped, afraid of startling the old goat.

He pinched his voice and called out, “Baa baa~”

The old goat looked blankly at him and chewed another mouthful of dry grass.

Long Xiao and Chang Ying had already become quite practiced at this, leading the others to spread out nearby.

Song Jian inched forward step by step.

Step…

Step…

Just as he was about to reach the old goat, a heart-wrenching cry suddenly rang out from one direction.

It was Butcher Wu’s house again.

Butcher Wu’s family still hadn’t slaughtered a pig today.

His son ran while crying.

“I really saw a pig leading a puppy, a rabbit, a rooster, and a goat past our house that day!”

Butcher Wu beat his son mercilessly.

“You still dare talk back! You still dare talk back!”

The younger son of the Wu family wailed,

“Waaahhh—I wasn’t lying! I wasn’t lying!”

Song Jian jumped in fright and nearly stumbled over.

He turned to Chang Ying.

“Did that child just say he saw them?”

Chang Ying nodded.

Song Jian turned back to look at the goat before him.

The goat did not move.

The goat merely ate grass.

“(Chew chew chew.)”

“Baa~”

Lamb Skewers wasn’t running away at all. Compared to the carefree Wuwei meditating in the quiet room at Fuhui Temple, it had seen through life and death even more thoroughly. A large patch of dry grass around it had already been stripped bare, proving that Lamb Skewers had been grazing here for quite some time.

Song Jian straightened up and pointed toward the sky.

“Seventeen and Eighteen, watch the goat! Wu Chang is good at tracking—go find the rabbit first! Long Xiao and Song Feng, go find the rooster! Chang Ying, come with me to find the kid who’s getting beaten!”

“Woof woof woof!”

With that, he turned to leave.

Behind him, Hei Dashuai wagged his tail and barked anxiously, “Woof!”

Only then did Song Jian realize there was still one member without an assignment.

He patted Hei Dashuai’s head.

“You smelled Coalball’s nest at the Yi residence. Go find Coalball!”

Afraid Hei Dashuai wouldn’t understand, Song Jian raised both hands beside his cheeks like paws.

“Woof woof!”

Hei Dashuai happily ran two circles, “Woof!”

Song Jian shouted, “Move out!”

They split into several groups at the village entrance and flew off in different directions.

Meanwhile, at Butcher Wu’s house—

The younger Wu son cried loudly.

“I wasn’t lying! I even saw a bunch of people in black before! The people in black took away the dirty people! Wuuuu…”

Butcher Wu was so angry his face turned red.

He was just about to hit him again with the sole of his shoe when someone knocked twice on the drafty front door.

The younger Wu son cried,

“Dad! It’s the people in black!”

Song Jian lowered his head and searched around his waist for his token. After fumbling for quite a while, he finally held it out and grinned.

“Brother, Tiancha Division investigation. We’d like to ask your son something.”

Butcher Wu looked down at the shoe sole he had raised.

“…”

Then lowered it and put his shoe back on.

Half a quarter of an hour later—

Squatting on the ground, Song Jian looked up.

“So you’re saying you saw them heading north?”

The younger Wu son sniffed back his snot and nodded vigorously.

“Mm! I saw them!”

“I also saw you guys taking away the dirty people before! My dad just wouldn’t believe me!”

Song Jian stroked his chin thoughtfully and looked at Butcher Wu.

“Who’s living to the north?”

Butcher Wu thought for a moment.

“To the north… there’s another butcher’s family. The butcher there is a young woman. She likes slaughtering pigs right after night falls. If a pig really went that way… it might already be getting butchered now.”

Song Jian’s heart skipped a beat.

He shot to his feet.

Huahua, don’t get butchered!

After asking for the address and thanking Butcher Wu and his son, he hurried north with Chang Ying.

Meanwhile, at Butcher Ruan’s house in the north—

The Ruan family’s daughter stood at the entrance with her hands on her hips, cursing loudly.

“What business is it of yours if I slaughter pigs? Come make trouble at my door again and I’ll butcher you too!”

The troublemaking man fled in terror.

Ruan family’s daughter spat in his direction and turned back into the courtyard.

Just as Song Jian arrived, he saw the young woman inside the courtyard swinging a huge cleaver down toward the chopping board.

Too anxious to bother with manners, Song Jian rushed in and shouted,

“Spare the pig—”

Thud!

A heavy chopping sound rang out.

Song Jian stretched out his hand and stared in horror at the chopping board—

Uh…

Carrots?

Ruan family’s daughter raised the cleaver again and chopped the carrots several more times.

After finishing, she swung the knife behind her and looked at him.

“What do you want?! Bringing your neck here for me to sharpen my knife on?”

Chang Ying said, “We wanted to ask—”

“Ask what? Get lost!”

Song Jian: “…”

Chang Ying: “…”

The Ruan family’s daughter brandished her knife as though she was about to chop someone.

“My knife hasn’t seen blood all day!”

Song Jian quickly pulled Chang Ying out of the courtyard.

After leaving, they climbed onto a crooked-neck tree.

Song Jian bit his fingernail, “What do we do, Ying?”

Chang Ying squatted beside him and copied him, biting his own fingernail. “No idea, My Lord.”

Song Jian sighed.

“Forcing our way in feels a bit too much like bandits. Makes us seem like the villains.”

Chang Ying nodded, “Yeah, My Lord.”

The two perched side by side on the tree like sparrows.

Not long afterward, another figure landed on Chang Ying’s right side.

It was Wu Chang.

Silently staring into the courtyard, he said, “My Lord, I think the rabbit is inside.”

A while later, Song Feng and Long Xiao also returned.

The two landed on branch above Song Jian’s head.

“My Lord, someone said the rooster went into this courtyard after crowing this morning.”

Song Jian sucked in a breath.

“Hiss~~~~”

Beneath the tree—

“Woof woof!”

Hei Dashuai had returned at some point, jumping around while staring into the courtyard.

Song Feng said, “I asked around. Ruan family’s daughter’s father used to be the village’s famous Butcher Ruan. After he passed away, she inherited his trade. This year marks her sixth year slaughtering pigs.”

Song Jian nodded gravely.

“So her heart has become as cold as a butcher’s knife?”

Song Feng: “…”

“No.”

“I also found out that Ruan family’s daughter likes cute things.”

Song Jian scratched his fingers.

“But… all the cute little rabbits and puppies are inside her courtyard now.”

Silence fell over the crooked-neck tree.

As Song Jian pondered, he suddenly sensed something was wrong.

Turning around, he found four or five pairs of eyes staring straight at him.

“…?”

Wait… what does that mean?

Song Jian: “…Don’t stab your brother in the back.”

Chang Ying said, “My Lord, you’re the leader. You should lead by example.”

Song Feng added, “My Lord, no one but you can shoulder this important mission.”

Wu Chang said, “My Lord, the sacrifices you’ve made for this case will be truthfully reported to His Majesty.”

Long Xiao jumped down from the tree.

“I’ll borrow some things from the villagers.”

Hei Dashuai barked.

“Woof woof!”

Long Xiao worked very efficiently.

Before long, he returned carrying a pile of things.

Song Jian took one look and nearly fainted.

Long Xiao first handed him a bright red and pink outfit.

“Put it on, My Lord!”

Song Jian’s face fell.

“My Lord! Saving the rabbit, dog, pig, and rooster is more important!”

“That’s right, My Lord! If we’re any later, Huahua might be butchered!”

“Think about Lord Yi and Madam Yi.”

Song Jian gritted his teeth.

“I’ll wear it!”

He unfolded the clothes and pulled them directly over his handsome black-and-gold python-patterned uniform, tightened the belt, and came out with a stern face.

“There. Happy? I’ll go now.”

After only taking two steps, Chang Ying stopped him again.

“There’s more, My Lord.”

Chang Ying tucked a large red flower into his neatly tied hair.

Wu Chang looked him over, then reached out with both hands.

With a light touch to his head, two fluffy ears were fixed in place.

Long Xiao picked up some rouge and used his index finger to paint two rosy cheeks on him.

Finally, Song Feng stepped forward and placed a red dot in the center of Song Jian’s forehead.

Chang Ying, Long Xiao, Wu Chang, Song Feng: “All done, My Lord.”

Song Jian had no mirror and couldn’t see what he looked like.

He stood up and took several deep breaths.

“Tell His Majesty… I’m no coward.”

“We will, My Lord!”

He walked forward a few steps, then couldn’t help turning back.

“Do I… really look cute?”

The row of shadow guards behind him nodded with solemn expressions.

“Very cute, My Lord.”

Song Jian: “Oh.”

“Then I’m going.”

Operation Rescue the Little Animals—

Woof woof woof!

Song Jian once again arrived at the entrance of the Ruan residence.

He knocked lightly, then poked his head inside.

“Hello…”

Ruan family’s daughter looked up.

“…?”

Song Jian blinked while fidgeting with his fingers.

“I wanted to ask… have you seen a rabbit with a patch of black fur on top of its head? And a little white dog, a spotted pig, and a rooster that loves crowing?”

Ruan family’s daughter fell silent for a long time.

Two strange red patches gradually appeared on her face.

“So… you came here for them.”

Song Jian nodded frantically.

Ruan family’s daughter said, “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

She turned around briskly.

“If nobody came looking for them, I really would have slaughtered them. They eat way too much.”

Before long, she came back carrying a little rabbit.

Its fur was snow-white and fluffy as it nibbled on a carrot.

Behind it, the little white dog came tumbling out after them.

“Woof woof woof!”

The rooster started crowing again.

“Cock-a-doodle-doo—”

Each of them had clearly been well taken care of.

They looked nothing like animals that were supposedly about to be slaughtered.

Song Jian asked another question.

“Then… where’s Huahua?”

Ruan family’s daughter gestured.

Song Jian quickly followed her.

The two stood beside the pigsty, watching Huahua affectionately rubbing noses with another pig.

“Oink oink oink—”

So this pig…

It had run all the way to a butcher’s house just to fall in love.

As they were leaving, Ruan family’s daughter looked at his outfit several more times.

Noticing this, Song Jian stopped: “(。· _ · 。)”

Ruan family’s daughter looked rather bashful.

After a moment, she finally squeezed out a word.

“Cute.”

Song Jian: “…”

When they returned to the village entrance, Lamb Skewer was still eating grass.

It lowered its head for another bite, then lifted it and chewed with its mouth crooked.

“(Chew chew chew.)”

“Baa~”

By the time they returned the five runaway animals to the Yi residence, it was already very late.

Madam Yi wiped away tears while hugging her beloved pets, crying bitterly.

Song Jian explained to Yi Geren that the rooster named Zihan had disturbed an entire village on the western outskirts of the capital.

Yi Geren nodded repeatedly.

“I will definitely give the people of western Capital City an explanation.”

After being busy the entire day, they were finally able to eat a hot meal.

Unexpectedly, not long after leaving the Yi residence, they ran into Qi Jingzhi, who had just arrived from the prefectural office.

Qi Jingzhi stared at him.

Song Jian: “…?”

Crap.

He hurriedly removed everything from his head and face, pretending nothing had happened.

Several days later, Xiao Yinghuai received a painting.

According to Gong Defu, it was Qi Jingzhi’s newest work, wildly popular throughout the capital.

He looked at the figure in the painting.

Two fluffy ears.

Two rosy cheeks.

A little red dot between the brows.

Extremely festive.

The painting was titled—

“Lord Song Cleverly Solves the Case of the Beloved Pets’ Escape.”

Xiao Yinghuai recalled Long Xiao’s and Song Feng’s report from a few days earlier.

“…”

No wonder he hadn’t smiled once these past few days.

 


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  • 1
    1 li (里) = 500 meters

acargoreng123

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