DIHBSG chapter 12

This trip to thank His Majesty left Song Jian drenched in sweat and completely dazed.

Only much later did he remember—when he was sent to the imperial prison, all those things he had handed over… hadn’t been returned?? A lot of them were things he had bought with his own money! If they weren’t returned, could they be exchanged for cash or something?? Aaaah!!!

He kept thinking about his little junk items. The next day after getting off work, he didn’t go straight back. Instead, he went to the Imperial Study, thinking that if he behaved more proactively in front of his boss, he might leave a good impression and maybe get his things back.

Inside the Imperial Study at this moment.

Prince Xian, Xiao Da, stood before the imperial desk, flipping through several scrolls. While reading, he praised, “Imperial Brother’s calligraphy has improved again since my last return. I’ve also practiced this ‘Changting Tie’, but I still can’t grasp its essence. Compared to Imperial Brother, I fall far short.”

Xiao Yinghuai glanced at him. “Your writing isn’t just ‘far short of grasping the essence’—it’s so sloppy it looks like worms crawling. And you still have the nerve to—”

“Have the nerve to what?”

Xiao Yinghuai changed direction mid-sentence. “Have the nerve to say you practiced it.”

Xiao Da: “Master said the same thing to me countless times back then.”

Xiao Yinghuai: “So you still remember. I thought you had forgotten long ago.”

Xiao Da scratched his head and laughed foolishly. “Then Imperial Brother might as well just give me this piece of calligraphy. I’ll study it properly when I go back.”

Xiao Yinghuai casually gestured, granting permission. Xiao Da happily rolled it up and stuffed it into his chest.

“Oh right, Imperial Brother, I heard from Gong Defu that your little shadow guard was sent to the imperial prison. Did he confess anything?”

Xiao Yinghuai paused, then threw a basket of miscellaneous junk to Xiao Da.

Xiao Da leaned back. “Hiss~~~”

Two bags of rice, a map and a duty roster, a pellet drum, half a flatbread, a storybook, and the Changting Tie he had copied.

“That’s it?”

Shocking.

He rarely used the word “shocking” to describe a person.

Xiao Yinghuai lifted his eyes. “That’s it.”

Xiao Da picked up the pellet drum and played it twice.

“Blaang blaang blaang blaang~”

He laughed. “Hey, this is pretty fun. Was that little shadow guard always this playful?”

Xiao Yinghuai frowned slightly but said nothing.

The “blaang blaang” kept echoing. He glanced over impatiently. “Go outside and play.”

Xiao Da immediately behaved and put the pellet drum back.

“Hehe.”

Xiao Yinghuai said, “If there’s nothing else, leave the palace quickly. Don’t linger in front of me.”

Xiao Da quickly said, “This younger brother traveled thousands of miles back from Jiangnan just to reunite with Imperial Brother. I missed you so much. After the Mid-Autumn Palace Banquet, I’ll have to leave again—there won’t be time to catch up.”

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

“Your speech is getting more and more frivolous. Stop reading those storybooks.”

Xiao Da obediently quieted down, then suddenly thought of something. “Oh right, Imperial Brother, next time there’s any acting job like this, remember to call me again. I did pretty well, didn’t I? I even wrote my own lines. Your little shadow guard didn’t suspect a thing.”

Xiao Yinghuai fell silent.

Are these really siblings from the same mother?

“Xiao Da, you’re wasting your talent being a leisurely prince.”

“No no, not wasting it.”

Xiao Yinghuai didn’t bother with him and continued writing memorials.

Xiao Da, unable to sit still, went on again. “Imperial Brother, speaking of which, it’s been so many years. When are you going to bring back an empress? The palace is so empty…”

Before he could finish—

“Get out.”

“Alright!”

Xiao Da immediately turned around. Before leaving, he pointed at a vase in the corner. “Imperial Brother, I quite like this vase…”

“Take it and leave.”

“Many thanks, Imperial Brother.”

He hugged the vase and left.

The door opened with a creak.

Bang.

“Damn!”

Song Jian had just arrived at the Imperial Study and was about to knock when the door suddenly opened. He was knocked so hard he almost fell on his butt.

He looked up and saw the Greasy Prince.

They stared at each other.

Xiao Da also froze, quickly deciding whether to continue acting or switch back.

Two seconds later, he chose to continue acting.

“Lord Song, are you in such a hurry because you came to see this prince?”

Song Jian instinctively stepped back.

Xiao Da winked at him.

Song Jian: “yue~”

Xiao Da: “(＾－＾)”

He walked past him, then suddenly leaned close to Song Jian’s ear.

Song Jian’s eyes widened in terror. AHHHH DON’T COME CLOSER!!!

“Do your best, Lord Song. In this prince’s place, there is only success—no failure.”

AHHHHHHH!!!

Footsteps faded away. Song Jian lifted his head, only to see a pair of deep, cold eyes inside the Imperial Study staring straight at him.

Damn it. I can’t defend myself.

He forced a dry laugh. “Your Majesty.”

“Come in.”

Song Jian crawled and stumbled inside, then stood properly beside the imperial desk, not daring to make a sound.

Xiao Yinghuai turned and saw his guard had a fresh bump on his head: “QnQ°”

“…What is it?”

Song Jian looked at his little pile of junk, swallowed his words, and shook his head timidly. “Nothing.”

“If nothing, why are you here at this hour?”

“…”

“Then this subordinate takes his leave.”

He shuffled toward the door step by step, looking back every few steps. Xiao Yinghuai frowned and pressed his temple—his acting was even worse than Xiao Da’s.

“Come back.”

“Understood, Your Majesty.”

Xiao Yinghuai pulled the basket of junk back over and picked up the pellet drum, shaking it twice.

“Why are you playing with something like this at your age?”

Song Jian fidgeted. “Nineteen.”

For elementary school kids it’s childish, for college students it’s just right.

Xiao Yinghuai choked slightly and tossed it back.

Then his hand moved across the rice bags, paused slightly, skipped the half flatbread, lingered on the map and duty roster, and finally picked up the storybook.

“Blaang blaang blaang blaang~”

《The Happy Life of Scholar Ruan Ying》

“Blaang~ blaang~ blaang~”

Xiao Yinghuai stared at the cover for a long moment.

“Blaang blaang~~”

“What is this storybook for?”

Song Jian paused briefly.

Of course it’s for reading—but saying that in front of a superior might leave a bad impression.

He quickly improvised a “reading comprehension” answer:

“This subordinate feels that Ruan Ying’s spirit of striving for a happy life and studying diligently to pass the imperial exams is very worth learning from. He rises at dawn every day, forgetting food and sleep. He is a model for ordinary people—and also this subordinate’s role model.”

Xiao Yinghuai flipped a page.

Song Jian continued, “The ending expresses the author’s longing for home and dedication to serving the country…”

Xiao Yinghuai paused.

“…”

He asked, “You want to become someone like Ruan Ying?”

Song Jian nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!!”

Xiao Yinghuai flipped a few more pages. “I didn’t see that ambition in you before.”

Song Jian smiled proudly, revealing dimples. “I’ve always had this ambition. You just didn’t know.”

“Oh?” Xiao Yinghuai drawled.

Then he suddenly tossed the book to him.

“If you had such ambition, you should’ve told me earlier. Staying by my side must have been hard on you.”

Song Jian blinked, confused, and opened the book.

One glance—

“?”

HOLY SHIT!!!!

He flipped through several pages in panic.

Every page was filled with obscene, shameless content.

Only then did he realize—

Damn it, Ruan Ying didn’t go take the imperial exams. He went to the capital to become a male prostitute!!!

What the hell?? Who wrote this?? How is this even legal?!

And worse—he only served male clients. One chapter, one client.

Song Jian’s face turned red as he slammed the book shut.

He thought it was just an ordinary storybook. Turns out it was ‘that kind’ of book.

He stammered, “Y-Your Majesty…”

“Speak.”

“I… I was talking nonsense…”

“If that’s the case, are you deliberately fooling me? Do you know the punishment for deceiving the emperor?”

Song Jian: “T_T”

Don’t sentence my entire clan…

“Speak.”

“I know…but I don’t dare deceive Your Majesty… I haven’t even read it! I won’t read it ever again!”

Xiao Yinghuai supported his head and looked down at him.

“Raise your head.”

Song Jian lifted half his face.

“Tsk.”

He shivered.

“Take your things and leave. Don’t let me see them again.”

Song Jian didn’t even react at first.

“Do you want me to personally send them to you?”

He immediately scrambled to gather up all his junk.

“Thank you, Your Majesty!”

After the door closed again, Xiao Yinghuai prepared to continue reviewing memorials.

He had just opened one—

“Blaang blaang blaang~”

“Blaang~ blaang~ blaang~”

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

This one really doesn’t learn.

Later that evening, Gong Defu brought in some tea and said softly, “Your Majesty, it’s getting late. Please rest for a while.”

Xiao Yinghuai didn’t respond, only pressing his temple wearily.

Then he asked, “How are the Mid-Autumn arrangements?”

“All prepared, Your Majesty. You may rest assured.”

“Mm.”

Gong Defu hesitated, then added, “And Lord Song…”

Xiao Yinghuai lowered his gaze.

“Mid-Autumn Palace Banquet will be his final chance.”

“Hopefully he won’t disappoint me. Otherwise…”

He didn’t finish the sentence.

But Gong Defu understood.

Meanwhile, Song Jian sat cross-legged on his bed, completely unaware of the upcoming Mid-Autumn Palace Banquet.

He was still replaying today’s events in the Imperial Study.

This damned book—aaaaaaah!!!

This cold and indifferent human heart—aaaaaaah!!!

Wuwuwuwuwuwuwu… This is too embarrassing T_T

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