DIHBSG chapter 17

Xiao Yongning did not stay long in the Tiancha Division either. It was not in accordance with rules to begin with, and if someone told her imperial brother, she would definitely get scolded again.

She left after eating and drinking her fill, bringing the Semi-Truck with her. Before leaving, she heard a conversation inside the dining hall.

“Lord Song, I heard Zuixian Tower has launched a new plum roast chicken. The reputation is very good, there’s a long queue every day, everyone who ate it says it’s good.”

“Really??!”

“Mm! Mm mm!! Absolutely guaranteed true!”

Zuixian Tower?

Xiao Yongning muttered in her heart as she left.

Inside the dining hall.

Song Jian said, “Has anyone gone out of the palace in the past two days?”

Chang Ying thought for a while. “Seems like none.”

Song Jian was just about to say ‘then I’ll secretly slip out’, when he suddenly remembered that due to the assassination incident during the Mid-Autumn palace banquet, security in the palace was extremely strict during this period, and no one could leave without special approval.

If he got caught, Song Jian could imagine with his toes what that dog emperor would say—definitely either chopping him or telling him to roll back to the Tiancha Division for lashes.

Forget it. Roast chicken was precious, but life was more valuable.

……

One hour later, Song Jian arrived outside the imperial study.

He asked Gong Defu, “Recently, does His Majesty have any tasks for me? The kind that requires leaving the palace.”

Gong Defu: “?”

Lord Song has become so enthusiastic about work?

He said, “This old servant also does not know. How would this old servant dare guess His Majesty’s thoughts? You should ask His Majesty yourself.”

Song Jian supported his chin in thought.

Gong Defu looked at him and immediately knew he wanted to leave the palace. He said implicitly, “If Lord Song truly wants to serve His Majesty, then he should stay by His Majesty’s side at all times. After staying long enough, His Majesty will naturally assign tasks to you.”

A lightbulb lit up above Song Jian’s head. Right!

And if he was this proactive, maybe he could even get some rewards—like gold beans, gold leaves, gold nuggets or something.

Gong Defu looked at Song Jian.

Song Jian: “(。￥v￥ 。)”

There was nothing in his eyes but desire.

He said, “From now on, I will protect His Majesty’s safety twenty-four hours a day.”

Gong Defu leaned back.

Hiss~~~~

Inside the imperial study, Xiao Yinghuai had read through more than half the book in his hands before he finally reached for his teacup—only to discover that the tea had long since gone cold.

He called out, “Defu.”

Gong Defu answered and went in, quickly replacing the tea.

Xiao Yinghuai: “What time is it now?”

Gong Defu: “Replying to Your Majesty, it is the second quarter of the Hour of Shen.”

Xiao Yinghuai put down the book, took a sip of tea, then stood up. “I will go take a walk in the imperial garden. Go summon Xu Xian from the Ministry of Rites.”

Gong Defu: “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Xiao Yinghuai stepped out. The moment he pushed open the door, a head popped out from the side.

“Your Majesty, where are you going?”

“……”

Xiao Yinghuai glanced at him. “What are you doing here?”

Song Jian straightened his back. “Your subordinate is Your Majesty’s personal guard, of course I’m here to do work for you!”

Xiao Yinghuai withdrew his gaze and walked forward. “There is no work. Go back.”

Song Jian: “Small tasks are fine too, Your Majesty! This subordinate can do anything! Just give the order!”

He shouted while following closely behind.

“Your Majesty, where are you going?”

Xiao Yinghuai ignored him.

Song Jian was very enthusiastic and very active: “Your Majesty? Your Majesty? Your Majesty!”

Xiao Yinghuai remained silent all the way to the imperial garden. The person behind him seemed tired from following and quietly panted twice, no longer calling “Your Majesty” every second.

Gong Defu soon arrived and reported, “Your Majesty, Lord Xu has arrived.”

Xiao Yinghuai: “Summon him.”

Song Jian looked over. He had been here long enough to recognize many people, but he had never seen this official from the Ministry of Rites before.

Not long after, a tall, handsome young man in red official robes appeared from behind the rockery and quickly stepped forward, bowing. “This minister Xu Xian greets Your Majesty.”

Xiao Yinghuai: “No need for formalities. I want to discuss the autumn examinations with you. Walk with me.”¹Autumn Examination (秋闈/鄉試) was the provincial-level civil service examination in imperial China. Held every three years in the autumn, it was the stage where successful candidates earned the title of Juren (舉人) and became eligible to pursue higher-level examinations for government positions.

Xu Xian: “Thank you, Your Majesty.” He straightened. “This minister also happens to wish to report on this matter.”

The Emperor and his minister walked slowly ahead. Song Jian followed behind, barely understanding what they were talking about or able to get a word in. It had nothing to do with him anyway.

His mind drifted from plum roast chicken to gold beans, gold leaves, and gold nuggets. Occasionally, a sentence or two about selecting talented officials drifted into his ears.

He scratched his cheek and yawned widely.

Xiao Yinghuai was speaking: “Among the successful candidates in this autumn examination…”

He glanced at Song Jian.

Xu Xian, fully focused, also caught the movement and looked at Song Jian.

Song Jian sniffed and wiped the corner of his eye.

He looked up—two pairs of eyes staring at him.

“?”

W-what?

Xiao Yinghuai looked away and continued walking.

Song Jian was even more confused.

Xu Xian stayed in the imperial garden for half an hour before taking his leave. Song Jian’s heart shouted: finally! It’s my turn to perform!

He instantly perked up and rubbed his hands together in excitement. Seeing a small stone on the path ahead, he dashed forward in one second.

“Your Majesty, be careful!”

Xiao Yinghuai paused.

Song Jian crouched down and picked up the stone from the ground, proudly reporting, “Look, Your Majesty! It’s a stone!”

Xiao Yinghuai was silent for a moment, then raised a brow.

Stone…

Song Jian let out a solemn sigh, “Too dangerous. It almost hurt Your Majesty’s dragon foot.”²龙脚 (dragon foot) is something Song Jian made up on the spot, parodying honorifics like 龙颜 (dragon countenance) or 龙体 (dragon’s body). It sounds ridiculous because no such term exists.

“?”

Xiao Yinghuai could not empathize with his wording. “What is a dragon foot?”

Song Jian blinked twice.

“Then… jade foot?”³玉足 (jade foot) is a real, elegant literary expression referring to someone’s beautiful feet. However, it is most often used when describing women. Using it for the emperor is therefore just as inappropriate, which is why Xiao Yinghuai is momentarily speechless.

Xiao Yinghuai’s expression briefly lost control.

Then he gave a cold laugh. “Lord Song’s words are always so astonishing.”

Song Jian smiled sheepishly. “They’re not that great. I’d say they’re just barely satisfactory.” Then, remembering something, he quickly corrected himself. “Barely satisfactory to the dragon, I mean.”

Xiao Yinghuai walked away.

Song Jian: “Eh?”

“Your Majesty! Be careful, Your Majesty! Let this subordinate protect you! Wait for me!”

For the first time, Xiao Yinghuai walked through the imperial garden at triple speed.

Song Jian chased after him for a while, then bent over with his hands on his knees, grimacing.

What the hell? Is this some kind of seniors’ walking club?

Refusing to accept it, he took off after him again.

“Your Majesty, danger!”

“Your Majesty, be careful!”

Xiao Yinghuai walked faster and faster. Song Jian was nearly exhausted and stopped to rest while tracking him with his eyes.

Suddenly, he saw a small bee flying toward the emperor.

He suddenly burst into a sprint and launched himself forward like a missile.

“Chua——thud!”

“Go!”

“Go, go, go!”

“Go, go, go, go!”

Song Jian hopped around the emperor, trying to drive the bee away. After a long struggle, he finally succeeded. He wiped his sweat and said firmly, “This subordinate was late in arriving to rescue you!”

Xiao Yinghuai closed his eyes.

Song Jian leaned in. “Your Majesty, are you uncomfortable? Should I go out of the palace to call a doctor?”

Xiao Yinghuai grabbed him. “If you keep flashing in front of me, I will execute your entire clan.”

Song Jian froze for two seconds.

On the third second: “Wuu~”

Xiao Yinghuai said coldly, “Hold back your tears.”

Too late. They were already hanging on his cheeks.

He could only force the rest back.

He said mournfully, “This subordinate’s retreat… is for a lifetime.”

Xiao Yinghuai laughed in anger, then slowly calmed. Suddenly he said calmly, “I remembered something.”

Song Jian immediately perked up. “What is it?”

“There is a fruit tree in the southeast corner of the imperial garden. Lord Song, go pick some back. I want to eat them.”

Song Jian rolled up his sleeves. “Yes, Your Majesty!”

He ran off instantly.

Xiao Yinghuai narrowed his eyes toward the direction he disappeared.

Hmph. Something out of the ordinary must have a demon behind it.⁴事出反常，必有妖 (shì chū fǎn cháng, bì yǒu yāo) is a Chinese idiom meaning that when something happens that is unusually abnormal or contrary to expectations, there is usually a hidden cause behind it. Literally, it says, “When something out of the ordinary occurs, there must be a yao (妖).” In classical Chinese, 妖 can refer to a demon, monster, or other supernatural entity, but it also carries the figurative sense of something suspicious, unnatural, or fishy.

On the other side, Song Jian finally found the fruit tree after searching for a long time. He climbed up, picked some fruit, wrapped them up, and jumped down. After confirming nothing was wrong, he ran back.

But when he returned, the place was already empty.

Song Jian: “……”

Damn.

He actually didn’t wait?!

At this time, Xiao Yinghuai had already returned to the imperial study. Thinking about what he had discussed with Xu Xian in the imperial garden, he planned to discuss it again with other ministers during the evening court session.

The Great Yan Dynasty’s evening court sessions were a tradition established after Xiao Yinghuai ascended the throne. Unlike morning court, it was not as formal—mostly ministers with urgent matters or those personally summoned would attend.

Unnoticed, the sky darkened. Eunuchs lit the lamps, and candlelight flickered, casting shifting shadows of emperor and ministers.

At the Hour of xu, ministers all withdrew.

Xiao Yinghuai reviewed a few remaining memorials. When Gong Defu reminded him it was late, he finally stood up tiredly, rubbing his brow.

The dragon carriage was already waiting on the palace road. He stepped out, intending to return to the Yanning Palace, but as he turned, he noticed a corner of black-and-gold python-patterned clothing behind a pillar.

Xiao Yinghuai stopped.

After a moment of silence, he walked over.

Behind the pillar, someone was already asleep, curled up against it, breathing steady and long.

In front of him were scattered fresh fruits.

……

Song Jian was woken by a rising and falling sharp voice beside his ear.

“Lord Song?”

“Lord Song??”

“Lord Song!”

Song Jian groggily opened his eyes, only to find Gong Defu’s enlarged face right in front of him. He jolted back in shock.

Gong Defu smiled. “Oh dear, Lord Song, you’ve fallen asleep. It’s this old servant.”

Song Jian finally came to his senses and looked around. “Where is His Majesty?”

Gong Defu said, “His Majesty already returned. Lord Song should also return to the Tiancha Division to rest early. Come again tomorrow.”

Song Jian: “I don’t need to guard overnight?”

Gong Defu shook his head. “No need. This was His Majesty’s order. Please rest assured and return. There are other officials.”

Song Jian cheered: “Oh yeah!”

Then he suddenly remembered: “Damn it, my fruits…”

He looked down and saw them scattered in front of him, so he quickly started picking them up.

One, two, three, four…

One missing?

He counted again.

Gong Defu: “Lord Song, what are you doing?”

Song Jian scratched his head. “Looking for fruit.”

He couldn’t have counted wrong—it was definitely one short. Did it roll somewhere else?

At the same time, in Yanning Palace, Xiao Yinghuai rubbed a green fruit in his palm.

He stared at it for a long time, then took a bite.

“……”

“……”

Xiao Yinghuai pressed his brow and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow, have someone cut that tree down.

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• 1
  Autumn Examination (秋闈/鄉試) was the provincial-level civil service examination in imperial China. Held every three years in the autumn, it was the stage where successful candidates earned the title of Juren (舉人) and became eligible to pursue higher-level examinations for government positions.
• 2
  龙脚 (dragon foot) is something Song Jian made up on the spot, parodying honorifics like 龙颜 (dragon countenance) or 龙体 (dragon’s body). It sounds ridiculous because no such term exists.
• 3
  玉足 (jade foot) is a real, elegant literary expression referring to someone’s beautiful feet. However, it is most often used when describing women. Using it for the emperor is therefore just as inappropriate, which is why Xiao Yinghuai is momentarily speechless.
• 4
  事出反常，必有妖 (shì chū fǎn cháng, bì yǒu yāo) is a Chinese idiom meaning that when something happens that is unusually abnormal or contrary to expectations, there is usually a hidden cause behind it. Literally, it says, “When something out of the ordinary occurs, there must be a yao (妖).” In classical Chinese, 妖 can refer to a demon, monster, or other supernatural entity, but it also carries the figurative sense of something suspicious, unnatural, or fishy.