DSMC Chapter 73

“What? Whose territory did our baby enter? I didn’t see anything.”

“Wait a second, how did Kitty Baby turn back into human form?”

“Yeah, all the other players are still struggling to adapt to becoming four-legged animals or reptiles, and he just turned back into a human.”

“Hahaha, that’s hilarious! Just now a player saw himself turned into a reptile through a glass enclosure and fainted on the spot.”

“Kitty Baby slipped through the system’s net again, hahaha, he turned human again.”

“Oh ho, will the black cat become a corpse under the big black panther’s claws? I’m so looking forward to it.”

“black panther? If that’s the case, wouldn’t a black panther be even more fond of a cat that’s also black? What a pity, Kitty Baby turned back into a human. This is the first time I’m hoping he won’t turn human. If he stayed a cat he’d get pampered in the zoo.”

“That’s not necessarily true. In a zoo, animals are controlled and can’t move around freely. As a human he actually has more freedom.”

No matter how optimistic the viewers in the comment section were, Yan Jiyun couldn’t feel optimistic at all.

The rockery he had just hidden in didn’t have any wild scent. After running here, he smelled the scent of special grasses and the smell of herbivore dung. These were enrichment features the zoo added for the leopards, allowing them to experience the stimulation of wild scents.

But now it also stimulated Yan Jiyun a bit too much. The smell was far too strong.

And it wasn’t just the smell; it also proved that this was still within the leopard zone. He saw distinctive leopard paw prints in the grass.

He was currently in human form. Wouldn’t squatting here make the leopards easily treat him as an enemy?

Alarms blared in Yan Jiyun’s mind. He had to leave immediately!

When he played around with his shit-shoveling officer, if he didn’t retract his claws properly, he could scratch his skin. If a leopard pounced on him now, he’d die miserably for sure.

The leopard zone’s enrichment facilities were very scientific, with various perches, tree-bark pads on the platforms, brushes on the lower perches for leopards to scratch and groom, suspended toys made from natural materials, large plastic balls, and a giant cat tree.

Yan Jiyun was envious; these toys made of tires looked pretty good. Still, survival came first.

The smell on the right was stronger. He decided to slip out from the left.

As a cat, it was easy to squeeze through gaps, but now that he was human, it wasn’t suitable at all.

Shrubs and trees planted outside the enclosure blocked the leopards’ and visitors’ lines of sight, and Yan Jiyun had no idea how he was supposed to climb out.

He couldn’t just shout for help, right?

Actually… maybe he could. A keeper had just been here. He didn’t know what would happen if he asked for help.

Rather than being bitten to death, it’s better to ask a zookeeper for help. 

Listening carefully for any approaching cat-like footsteps, Yan Jiyun kept low and quickly ran toward where the keeper had been. In the past, he found news of visitors falling into tiger pits hilarious. Now that it was happening to him, it was not so funny. He didn’t dare show his back to any leopard hiding in the shadows. He could only move while crouched along the fence — it was awkward, but he had to do it! 

No one understood better than him how much a feline wanted to pounce when it saw a human’s back. Never leave your back exposed to a cat; you’d regret it.

Through a gap, Yan Jiyun saw a keeper in the next area separated by the fence. Just as he was about to call out, he saw a black shadow crouched atop the tree branch opposite him.

Yan Jiyun: “…”

A black panther!

Goodness, it’s blacker than he was.

No wonder he couldn’t find the leopard earlier; it was in the tree. If not for his good eyesight, he would’ve never noticed it.

Now he understood why his pooper scooper always looked so helpless when trying to find him.

The leopard lazily swayed its nearly one-meter-long tail, its emerald-green eyes fixed on the moving Yan Jiyun.

Yan Jiyun knew leopards wouldn’t attack humans randomly, as humans weren’t part of their diet. But he had to face the black panther head-on and stay calm, slowly inching away.

This leopard probably wasn’t a player. The players he saw earlier couldn’t even walk properly, much less climb trees.

He turned his head and called out to the zookeeper interacting with the other three leopards.

He didn’t dare speak loudly, for fear the leopard would think he was attacking it, so he lowered his voice, “Handsome guy, help me~”

Keeping his head turned, he continued whispering, “Can you hear me? Help! help! I fell into the leopard zone!”

“Hey hey hey, handsome guy, don’t walk away—”

But he watched as the zookeeper carried a bucket filled with chicken, eggs, and beef and left.

The zookeeper was probably setting food around the zone for the leopards to find on their own.

Did the zookeeper’s hearing have to be this bad? His voice was practically cracking and the guy still didn’t hear him!

The black panther on the tree continued staring at Yan Jiyun, lazily flicking its tail.

For now, the leopard didn’t seem to want to attack him.

He might as well use the opportunity to find the exit. If the zookeeper could enter to set up enrichment items, there had to be an exit as well.

The zookeeper had gone far, but he was likely still somewhere in the leopard zone.

Then he heard the keeper driving off in the sightseeing cart, probably heading to the tiger zone next door to deliver food.

What should he do now?

He had a black panther staring at him!

Yan Jiyun couldn’t just stand here waiting for it to pounce. Realizing the leopard wasn’t attacking, he quickly opened his inventory.

Before entering the instance, he’d bought a cheap prop. Although not very strong, it has no cooldown nor usage limit.

Don’t ask why he bought it. He just felt he needed one at the time.

Yes, it was a retractable steel-wire fishing rod. Not for fishing, but a long cat teaser wand.

When he learned the system had updated the instance, he left open several inventory slots for random props, and on impulse bought this cat teaser wand.

He hadn’t thought that much. Maybe because his pooper scooper never bought him the long cat toy like this before, and he was curious about how it worked.

The black panther kept staring at him. Two legs could never outrun four legs. Even his own cat form ran faster than his human form. If he tried to run now, he’d get pounced instantly.

He shuffled forward, sat down on the wooden platform the leopards used for jumping and playing, then took out the long cat teaser wand.

He never thought he wouldn’t get to play with it himself. Instead the black panther staring him down was going to benefit.

A feathered bell hung from the end, twice the size of the ones he saw at home.

Yan Jiyun flicked the telescoping rod and it extended like a clothes-drying pole.

He wasn’t as relaxed as he had imagined. Although sitting, he could jump into the low shrubs below at any moment.

But he didn’t know whether running would trigger a chase, so he might as well test the item first.

A cat’s attention was easily diverted. Maybe he could use it to distract the leopard, or maybe even communicate and build goodwill?

He still didn’t know whether he could leave the leopard zone in human form.

If he couldn’t leave, how would he explore the zoo and complete the main quest? He needed mobility.

He didn’t know whether the “zoo crisis” meant the management had problems or the animals themselves had issues.

Either way, he had to explore the entire place to make a reasonable guess.

Yan Jiyun shook the cat teaser wand, and the jingling bell succeeded in making the black panther perk up its short ears.

Very good, it has been hooked.

Yan Jiyun waited for the black panther to feel he wasn’t a threat anymore, then he could quietly slip out of the leopard zone. He still had to test why, after his Human Form Time Card ended, he had reverted to being human instead of turning back into a cat. Of course, it wasn’t so hard to understand. Maybe the instance treated the human form as his “original body.” According to the game’s rules, he should have turned into a black panther, but because he was originally a cat, once the Human Form Time Card ended, he became human.

In short, the system mixed up his original body with the Human Form Time Card. 

Thinking it through a bit more deeply, it meant he had glitched the system.

He still couldn’t tell whether this glitch he exploited was good or bad.

It wasn’t easy to glitch a high-stakes game like this. He suggested that after the system updated, it shouldn’t open the instance immediately, and should really test it internally first, otherwise players like him would end up bugged like this.

The black panther seemed to be having trouble staying still. It had been staring at the feather-and-bell toy in Yan Jiyun’s hand for quite a while now. 

Only now did Yan Jiyun finally understand how patient his master at home had been. At home, when the pooper scooper dangled a teaser toy for five minutes with no reaction, he would still persist. Every time, it was only when Yan Jiyun himself couldn’t stand it anymore that he would reluctantly play along for a moment.

Honestly, back in the real world, he never knew whether it was humans teasing cats… or cats teasing humans.

The black panther was still very cautious. After staring for ages, it hadn’t moved even one step. It only shifted into a different lying position, but its gaze didn’t leave the colorful feathered bell at all.

It worked, just slowly.

Yan Jiyun’s hand was already getting tired from swinging it, yet the leopard still didn’t seem ready to come play.

It didn’t come down, but it did attract the three leopards next door.

The most active one was the same leopard that had been staring at him earlier. It looked like it wanted to jump from one platform to this one, but a nearby female leopard smacked it back down with one paw.

This was obviously a family of three: a pair of leopard couple with a possibly not-yet-adult young leopard.

The black panther glanced at them too, eyes filled with warning!

Yan Jiyun swung the teaser toy even harder.

Come on, fight! As long as they fought, he might be able to slip away in the chaos.

[Want to be Human] livestream channel: 

“As expected from our Kitty Baby, the way he thinks is never what normal players would expect. Who brings a cat teaser toy into an instance?! Damn!”

“Hahaha Kitty Baby is too cute and way too clever. The moment he pulled out that cat toy I already died laughing.”

“The ‘never in a million years would I have guessed’ series.”

“The fiercest black panther in the leopard zone definitely never imagined that the sly black cat would turn into a human and pull out a teaser toy. It just goes to show that only felines understand felines.”

“Still, the teaser toy is pretty effective. Look at Jixiang, he’s practically dying to jump over. Even though his mom is holding him down, his eyes keep drifting over. He’s losing control any moment now.”

“But he still has to respect that it’s the black panther’s territory.”

“My only fear right now is the black panther biting Kitty Baby. How dangerous is this instance?”

Yan Jiyun was still crouched on the platform, waiting for the black panther to come play with the teaser toy.

He swung it for five minutes, and the leopard only changed positions. After another five minutes of waying, the leopard finally got up and jumped down from the tree. Two minutes later, it attempted to pounce at the feathered bell.

It really took the bait.

Yan Jiyun swung the teaser rod left and right. The black panther finally let down its guard and began pouncing and chasing after the toy, playing happily. So happily it made Jixiang next door jealous to tears.

It wasn’t easy; his hand was about to fall off, and only then did the black panther start moving.

When it had been lying in the tree, he couldn’t fully see its size. Now that it was on the ground, he realized it was extremely handsome. From a human perspective, he envied his pooper scooper’s physique; from a cat’s perspective, he envied the black panther’s powerful, athletic build.

The black panther jumped again, pouncing high enough to capture the feathered bell. It bit down hard, then let go so Yan Jiyun could continue playing with it.

As expected of a prop. Even with the black panther biting so hard, the feathers and bell stayed intact.

Yan Jiyun wanted to slip away, but whenever he stopped moving, the black panther would fix its gaze on his hand. He didn’t even need to be watched directly.

He had to admit the black panther was clever. It knew his hand was what made the teaser rod move.

What now? He couldn’t move at all under that stare.

Yan Jiyun tried stopping the rod to prepare for escape, but the black panther immediately jumped up and caught the bell, then looked up at him.

It still wanted to play?

Were the enrichment facilities in the zoo not enough to satisfy it? Did every feline in the world secretly dream of playing with a teaser toy?

Yan Jiyun started regretting taking the teaser rod out. It was supposed to be his toy.

Bah, no, he absolutely did not want to play.

Still… he couldn’t escape.

If he turned back into a cat, would the black panther and the three leopards reject him? But either way, he couldn’t outrun felines with longer legs.

Yan Jiyun switched hands and kept waving the rod. “So tiring. I should’ve bought an automatic teaser toy.”

Maybe he could play with a ball instead?

Throw it far, let the black panther chase, then he could slip away.

But he didn’t have a ball, nor did he buy that kind of prop.

He decided to wave the teaser toy while backing up, only to discover six more leopards under the enrichment structure behind him, all staring at the teaser toy.

When did they get there?!

He had been so busy trying to escape that he hadn’t noticed he was already surrounded.

Question: How does one break out from a group of leopards?

Answer: No idea.

[Want to be Human] livestream channel: 

“Help!! Why is Kitty Baby such a comedian?!”

“I thought I was watching a streamer fighting for survival in a deadly game, but no, I’m watching a comedy streamer. [Hahaha for three whole minutes.jpg]”

“He thought he could distract the black panther and slip away, but instead he attracted literally every leopard in the enclosure.”

“I checked other streamers playing this same instance. The comparison is brutal. Hahaha, Kitty Baby is absolutely the star! Other players are still trying to figure out how to walk or coexist with the animals. Meanwhile, he’s already playing with them.”

“Are you sure that’s called ‘playing’? He literally can’t leave. His arm is going to fall off at this rate.”

“I can see the despair in his eyes. He’s ready to give up.”

“I think he wants to play too…”

Yes, Yan Jiyun decided to turn back into a cat. He’d join the army of leopards, test how they treated a black cat, and also test the system’s rules. In this instance, his human form seemed to be the default, while the black cat form required using his Human Form Time Card. 

The leopards drawn by the jingling bell were definitely not players, so it was safe to transform.

He stuck the teaser rod into a crack on the wooden platform, then tapped to use the card.

In the next second, he turned back into a cat.

Oh ho!

He found a new way to play the game.

The seemingly wise black panther was completely stunned. The two-legged creature sitting on the platform suddenly turned into a cub as black as itself.

Black Panther: “…”

Leopards: “…”

Just then, the game suddenly popped up a notification.

[Main Mission 1: The operating hours of Xianghe Zoo are from 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM. The park opens at 7:00 AM. Players, please prepare to receive visitors.]

[Players must perform behaviors related to their species to attract the attention of visitors. After visitors enter each exhibit area, players will automatically gain corresponding popularity points once they attract visitor attention. The popularity leaderboard updates every hour.]

[Players, do your best. The crisis of the zoo depends on you. Please showcase your unique species-specific talents!] 

What the heck?

What species talent?

Yan Jiyun looked down from above at the leopards below waiting for him to shake the cat teaser wand.

The black panther was the boss of the leopard zone. When it played, the other leopards could only stand around and watch.

Yan Jiyun still wanted to live, so he continued to kick the cat teaser wand with his foot. The black panther was actually quite happy, pouncing left and right.

Yan Jiyun relaxed a little. With the sense of danger fading, he stared at the big black panther’s slick and glossy body with drool in his mouth. Its black fur gleamed all over, and the high rise of its shoulder blades symbolized explosive power. Its whole body was filled with strength. The more he looked, the more envious he felt.

He also wanted to have a feline figure like that. This was what a feline should look like. If not for the cat teaser toy ruining its mystique, it wouldn’t seem any less intimidating to him.

After playing a while, the black panther seemed satisfied. It didn’t approach Yan Jiyun; instead, it jumped onto a horizontal log and lay there, its tail swinging lazily, showing it was in a good mood.

Only then did the leopards dare to dart over to play with the cat teaser wand.

One after another stared at the swaying feather bell. One pounce would bump into another, and another trying to pounce would rub against the one beside it.

Among them, the probably-not-yet-adult Jixiang was the most energetic. It didn’t care whether the others wanted to play, it just wanted to have fun on its own. 

Yan Jiyun crouched on the platform, casually shaking the cat teaser toy.

Even with one cat teaser toy controlling all the leopards, Yan Jiyun still had to find a way to leave.

Then he heard human voices.

They were a few hundred meters away, but it didn’t stop him from hearing them. The leopards eyeing the feather bell also heard.

All the felines pricked their ears, then dismissed the sounds.

The voice of the zoo tour guide on the electric shuttle rose into the air.

Guide: “What you’re seeing now is our leopard zone. We have jaguars, leopards, cheetahs, and the unique black panther. Leopards are nocturnal, so at this hour most have finished their foraging and are resting. Sometimes we might see one or two, sometimes none at all. If you don’t see our mighty leopards, please don’t be sad.”

The guide used the same script at any time of day. She happened to have her back toward the enclosure, so she didn’t even need to look. The leopards were never active at this hour, since it was already 7 AM. 

But today’s visitors were excited.

“No way, look, there are so many leopards!”

“Guide, what you said isn’t right. Look, all the leopards are out.”

“That’s right, did all the leopards in the zoo run out?”

The guide turned toward the enclosure and widened her eyes, thinking she saw wrong.

A visitor asked, “Are they gathering around something?”

The enclosure was large. Some visitors even had binoculars and could observe the inside closely.

Then they saw something they absolutely did not expect.

“Holy crap, there’s a black cat using a cat teaser wand to tease the leopards. This is the first time I’ve seen this!”

“Let me see, let me see!”

Visitors recorded video on their phones. After zooming in, they indeed saw it. The picture was blurry from the zoom, but it perfectly captured the scene of a black cat teasing leopards.

“Oh my god, this black cat is way too bold. It doesn’t seem worried at all about being eaten. Aren’t leopards supposed to reject other species?”

“Ahhh, I see the black panther!”

The guide froze for a long moment, then cleared her throat and said, “Th-that cat, I don’t know when it came in… I’ve been a guide for two years and have only seen the black panther once.”

No one was listening to her. The visitors were all busy filming!

“Don’t squeeze, let me take a video for my WeChat Moments! This scene is too bizarre, I’ve never seen a cat tease a big cat before.”

“Me too, me too.”

Guide: Me too.

Then she lifted the phone hanging from her chest and started recording as well.

After recording, she said, “We’ll continue to the next exhibit, the tiger zone.”

But the visitors protested. “No no no, don’t go! I want to watch the little cat tease the big cats. It’s too cute!”

Even the shuttle driver uncle was filming; everyone was unbelievably curious.

Another shuttle arrived, and the same conversation happened there too. That shuttle even had a livestreamer visiting the zoo.

“Holy crap, guys, guess what I’m seeing! The black panther moved!”

Yan Jiyun didn’t care what the visitors saw. He was extremely nervous when the black panther suddenly stood up and walked toward him.

What are you doing? Back back back back, go back!