DIHBSG chapter 15

News that there had been an assassin in the palace quickly spread, and the great hall buzzed with discussion.

Someone asked, “Good heavens! His Majesty wasn’t injured, was he?”

“His Majesty is fine, but I heard Lord Song was injured.”

The people around them sighed in admiration.

“Lord Song is truly loyal and courageous.”

“Yes, thanks to Lord Song.”

At this moment, the “loyal and courageous” Song Jian had already been carried to a side hall.

Don’t ask why he had to be carried there.

It was because he’d sprained his ankle when he fell just now.

He sat on a wooden bed with one trouser leg rolled high up, his head lowered as far as it could go, having lost all the face he possibly could.

After examining him, Imperial Physician Mao reported,

“Your Majesty, Lord Song’s ankle is not seriously injured. It’s only a minor sprain. He’ll recover after some rest.”

Xiao Yinghuai acknowledged him with a sound and raised a hand. Imperial Physician Mao withdrew, leaving only Song Jian and Xiao Yinghuai in the side hall.

The scary part was that Song Jian was sitting while the man before him was standing.

Song Jian lowered his head and played dead.

Who knew how much time passed before Xiao Yinghuai finally spoke.

“You were screaming so loudly, I thought you’d broken your leg.”

Song Jian: “…”

If it wasn’t broken, couldn’t I still scream?

Who made that rule?

Xiao Yinghuai looked at him.

“Could it be that you deliberately pretended to be injured because you don’t want to stand the night watch?”

Song Jian’s first reaction was wanting to slam the table.

Damn it, how dare you slander me like that!

His second reaction was—

Damn it, why didn’t I think of such a good idea sooner?!

He immediately started acting.

“Your Majesty has wronged me! This subordinate… this subordinate…”

“What?”

Song Jian squeezed out two tears.

“It really hurts. I can’t move.”

Xiao Yinghuai raised an eyebrow.

“Really?”

Song Jian nodded frantically, even wiping away his fake tears convincingly.

“It’s all because this subordinate was so eager to protect Your Majesty. But even if I was injured for Your Majesty’s sake, this subordinate doesn’t regret it one bit.”

Xiao Yinghuai finally understood what it meant to speak utter nonsense.

With a cold laugh, he corrected him.

“Lord Song, you tripped over a stone on the ground no bigger than a finger. I cannot bear such a great responsibility.”

Song Jian fell silent for a moment.

Oh, is that so?

Your criticism is correct.

Xiao Yinghuai asked, “Do you know what day today is?”

Song Jian thought about it.

“The Mid-Autumn Festival! The day for you and your family to reunite.”

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

He should reflect on why he’d thought the person in front of him could remember important things.

Song Jian was very considerate toward his boss.

“Your Majesty, hurry and go admire the moon with your family. This subordinate will be fine by himself.”

Xiao Yinghuai ignored his nonsense.

“I said I would give you seven days to dispel my doubts. Otherwise, I would personally cut off your head.”

Song Jian froze.

Xiao Yinghuai continued, “Today is the seventh day.”

Wait.

Wait wait wait wait wait.

Xiao Yinghuai slowly walked over.

“Does Lord Song have any last words?”

Song Jian completely froze.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

What did he mean?

Was he really going to kill him now?

Watching the man draw closer and closer, Song Jian hurriedly scooted back in fright. He couldn’t even speak coherently.

“Y-you d-d-d-don’t have a sword… h-how are you going to kill me…”

Xiao Yinghuai bent over slightly and rested a hand on the Yanling Saber at Song Jian’s side.

Song Jian let out a loud cry.

“Aah!”

Then he wrapped both arms around his saber protectively.

Wuwu.

Xiao Yinghuai’s voice was cold and deep.

“Lord Song shouldn’t have forgotten that I just used this saber to behead someone.”

Aaaaaaaaaah.

So much for that glimmer of kindness!

Song Jian hugged the saber and desperately shrank back, crying out, “Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Please don’t! I don’t want to die!”

Xiao Yinghuai silently looked at him.

“My loyalty to Your Majesty can be witnessed by Heaven and Earth!! Really!!”

“I’m a good person, Your Majesty!!”

“I’ve spent my whole life doing good deeds and building up virtue! I never leave bad reviews on food delivery orders, I always obey the traffic lights when crossing the street, I’ve diligently completed every single Youth Study session¹“Youth Study” (青年大学习) is an online political education program for Chinese youth organized by the Communist Youth League. Participants are encouraged—and in some schools or workplaces, expected—to complete each installment. The line “I’ve never stolen other people’s screenshots from the internet” also references a common online joke about copying someone else’s proof of completion instead of doing the lesson yourself., and I’ve never stolen other people’s screenshots from the internet! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!”

“If that really won’t do, just treat me like a chicken. Throw me some feed and I’ll leave on my own. Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck…”

Xiao Yinghuai: “?”

Treat him like what?

One of his hands rested against Song Jian’s waist. Instead of drawing the saber, his other hand grasped Song Jian’s injured ankle.

The person before him had worn himself out shouting and was now sniffling, “Ugh.”

Xiao Yinghuai asked: “Finished?”

Song Jian’s eyes were red, but he answered with complete confidence despite having no justification.

“Finished!”

“Does Lord Song know who came to assassinate us tonight?”

Song Jian replied, “He didn’t tell me, so how would I know?”

Xiao Yinghuai gently pressed his thumb against the fair skin of Song Jian’s leg.

“A disciple of Qin Xiaoyuan, the Grand Secretary under the late emperor.”

Song Jian’s tear-dampened eyelashes fluttered, “Wh-why?”

Xiao Yinghuai said softly: “Because I killed Qin Xiaoyuan.”

Song Jian shivered.

“Two years ago, Lord Song personally led the men to confiscate the Qin residence. Lord Song doesn’t remember any of it?”

He shook his head wildly.

A barely audible sound escaped Xiao Yinghuai’s nose. Lowering his eyes, he glanced at the slightly swollen ankle in his hand. The area around the ankle bone had become somewhat red.

A moment later—

“Since Lord Song hasn’t decided on his last words yet, then I will kill you another day.”

Before Song Jian could react, the door to the side hall suddenly opened.

“Your Majesty, Prince Xian requests an aud—”

The last word was swallowed forcefully by Gong Defu.

His expression turned uncertain as he looked at the posture of the two men.

First he looked at the emperor, who was bent slightly over.

Then he looked at Lord Song, who looked thoroughly bullied.

Th-this this this this this…

Xiao Yinghuai let go and looked at him.

“What is it?”

Gong Defu immediately turned around.

“No one spoke, Your Majesty. No one spoke. This old servant shall take his leave.”

Song Jian: “?”

Brother, aren’t you being a little…

The hall doors creaked shut.

Outside, Gong Defu shyly waved at Xiao Da, who had come to request an audience.

“Your Highness Prince Xian, His Majesty is busy right now. Whatever it is, please speak tomorrow.”

Xiao Da: “???”

Brother, aren’t you being a little…

He’d just gone through an assassination attempt and was still in the mood?

Besides, Xiao Da was rather curious.

“Who is my Imperial Brother with?”

Gong Defu smiled until his old face bloomed like a flower.

“Oh my, it’s that… you know…”

Xiao Da: “…”

You might as well have said nothing.

Originally, Song Jian had wanted to put on an act in front of his boss to get a few more days of rest.

Not only had it failed, he had almost gotten himself killed again.

He obediently returned to the Tiancha Division, choosing to stew in silent resentment rather than vent his anger or admit defeat.

If they wouldn’t give him leave, then fine.

It wasn’t like he wanted leave that badly anyway.

These emperors were all so pretentious.

The palace’s state of emergency wasn’t lifted until the following day. However, the guards in every palace still didn’t dare relax in the slightest.

An assassination attempt on the Son of Heaven was an enormous matter. Many officials who heard about it were terrified. During the morning court session, someone submitted a memorial requesting another purge of Qin Xiaoyuan’s remaining faction.

“Your Majesty, it has been over two years since the Qin faction fell, yet its poisonous roots still lurk in the shadows. This minister believes another purge is urgently necessary.”

As soon as he finished speaking, another official immediately stepped forward to refute him.

“Your Majesty, this minister believes it would be inappropriate. The court has only just stabilized. Another purge would inevitably cause panic and political turmoil. In this minister’s opinion, Qin Xiaoyuan and his followers have already been executed. The scattered remnants hidden in the shadows are merely the last gasp of a spent crossbow and are not worth fearing.”

The first official grew emotional.

“Do you know that a thousand-mile dike can collapse because of an ant’s nest? We both experienced firsthand how the Qin faction threw the court into chaos…”

“This official only knows that governing the nation requires distinguishing priorities. How can we put the cart before the horse…”

The hall once again erupted into complete chaos.

Xiao Yinghuai rested a finger against his forehead, his expression dark.

The Qin faction case had been the first major case Xiao Yinghuai handled after ascending the throne.

In the fourth year of Chengqian, the Qin faction fell. During the purge, tens of thousands were implicated, and Qin Xiaoyuan’s entire faction was nearly uprooted.

But the disorder caused by the former Grand Secretariat had not developed overnight.

Qin Xiaoyuan had occupied the position of Grand Secretary for more than ten years. His disciples were as numerous as the hairs on an ox, his influence deeply rooted and intertwined. Great Yan could not completely rid itself of the Qin faction’s influence in such a short time.

Xiao Yinghuai also understood clearly that the already tottering nation and its officials could not withstand a second massive slaughter.

The greatest cancer of Great Yan had already been removed.

The remaining poison could only be cleansed slowly.

He had watched from the shadows for many years.

The one thing he never lacked was patience.

…

Inside the imperial study.

When Gong Defu reported for the third time, “Your Majesty, Lord Song is on his way.”

Xiao Yinghuai finally lost his patience.

Half an hour! Even if he were crawling, he should’ve made it from the Tiancha Division by now!

Xiao Yinghuai rose and walked out. Before long, he spotted the dawdling Song Jian on the palace road.

His injured foot didn’t seem to hinder him much, but he had somehow found a walking stick and was using it as a cane.

Every time he met someone, he chatted for a while.

Then he met another person and chatted for a while.

Heh.

He was even smiling quite brightly.

Xiao Yinghuai stopped waiting for him, returned to the imperial study, and said to Gong Defu,

“Summon Prince Xian to the palace.”

Gong Defu replied, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

When Xiao Da entered the palace, he originally intended to head straight for the imperial study.

Halfway there, however, he saw a familiar figure squatting beside an archway, teasing a dog.

“Tsk tsk tsk tsk! Hei Dashuai! Sit!”

“Give me your paw!”

Xiao Da leisurely walked over while fanning himself.

“Lord Song, you’re certainly in good spirits.”

Song Jian had just grasped the dog’s paw when he looked up.

“?”

Holy shit!!!

Why was it this guy again!!

Song Jian had almost been beheaded yesterday. Now he had a stress response to anything and anyone related to rebellion.

He immediately shouted, “Don’t come near me!!”

Xiao Da stroked his chin, just about to come up with another line of dialogue when the person before him suddenly shouted,

“Hei Dashuai! Bite him! Get him!”

“Woof! Woof woof!!”

Xiao Da’s eyes widened in horror.

“Holy shit!! Song Jian! That’s playing dirty!!”

Hei Dashuai had already charged at him.

Terrified, Xiao Da turned and ran.

Leaning on his walking stick, Song Jian shouted after him,

“Hei Dashuai! He’s the villain! Bite him without worry! Bite him to death and I’ll promote you to a higher rank!!!”

Xiao Da: “!!!”

Damn it!!!

Scrambling and stumbling, he fled toward the imperial study.

“Imperial Brother! Save me! Imperial Brother! Save me!! Save me!! Aaaaaah!!!”

“Woof!! Woof woof woof!!”

Ever since Qin Xiaoyuan’s downfall, the Grand Secretariat had existed in name only.

Every day, Xiao Yinghuai had mountains of memorials waiting to be reviewed. Even working from dawn until late into the night, he couldn’t finish them all.

Hearing the noisy commotion outside, he became irritated and frowned.

“What is happening outside?”

Gong Defu replied, “This old servant will go take a look.”

But the moment he pushed the door open, Xiao Da came charging straight in.

Sliding dramatically across the floor, he grabbed Xiao Yinghuai’s leg and wailed, “Imperial Brother!! That little shadow guard of yours set a dog on me!!! You have to stand up for me!!”

Outside the door came Song Jian’s voice.

“Hei Dashuai! Did you bite him or not?!!”

Xiao Yinghuai: “?”

????

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  “Youth Study” (青年大学习) is an online political education program for Chinese youth organized by the Communist Youth League. Participants are encouraged—and in some schools or workplaces, expected—to complete each installment. The line “I’ve never stolen other people’s screenshots from the internet” also references a common online joke about copying someone else’s proof of completion instead of doing the lesson yourself.