Li Shuo was stunned.
He thought that he had experienced auditory hallucinations due to his hangover, but Zhao Jinxin’s affectionate eyes looking at him were impacting his feverish brain, making him unable to avoid it.
Zhao Jinxin gently stroked Li Shuo’s face, eyes full of focus and sincerity: “Li Shuo, I like you, I’m in love with you.”
Li Shuo was about to fall into Zhao Jinxin’s bewitching eyes. He felt a little pain in his heart, but besides the pain, his mind was mixed with some trembling numbness.
Zhao Jinxin… Are you confessing? Confessing to me? For real and all formal…? He pondered.
Zhao Jinxin smiled: “You say something, I’m very nervous when you are quiet like this.”
Li Shuo can’t see that Zhao Jinxin is nervous. He is naturally not embarrassed to be nervous. He has been confessed to too many times in his life, how could he be nervous because of a confession that is nothing new?
Li Shuo gulped, but his voice trembled slightly: “Why are you suddenly…”
“Suddenly? Where is it suddenly?” Zhao Jinxin’s expression became a bit sad, “I have said that I like you countless of times. From the beginning until now, you just never take it seriously.”
Li Shuo was speechless.
What Zhao Jinxin said is correct, but is it really his own improper reasoning? He thought again. Isn’t Zhao Jinxin the one who doesn’t take it seriously? He is lost in thoughts.
Zhao Jinxin leans on Li Shuo, tapped his lips with his fingertips, and said softly, “I have always liked you so much and treated you so well, but you… One moment Li Chengxiu, then Han Feiye, and then I don’t know whoever it is that you drank with last night. I know I can’t force it if you like this kind of thing, you don’t care about me, and I can’t help it, but I’m still sad…”
Li Shuo was shocked by the defeated looks in Zhao Jinxin’s eyes.
He began to reflect on himself.
Is it really like that? Is it really as what Zhao Jinxin had said? Was there too much misunderstanding between the two of them that he thought that Zhao Jinxin was indifferent, and Zhao Jinxin also thought that he was indifferent, but in fact they are both in love with each other?
Li Shuo shook his head. He had been smart for more than 30 years. For the first time, he felt that his brain capacity was not enough. For a while, he couldn’t tell whether Zhao Jinxin’s words were true or false.
If Zhao Jinxin is all true, isn’t he himself was a bit too much?
But, evading his ‘rebuilding trust’, saying that ‘have never dated anyone’, and refused to live together, isn’t it also Zhao Jinxin?
Li Shuo felt that he was confused.
Zhao Jinxin kissed Li Shuo’s lips softly, and said softly: “I know that we have a lot of misunderstandings, but you are the first person who touched my heart. I will inevitably be overwhelmed, but the past is not important. I just want to know, Uncle Li, do you like me?”
Li Shuo pushed Zhao Jinxin away, sat up, his mind was confused for a while, and his usual calmness was completely lost.
He didn’t know how to describe his current mood. He didn’t dare to be happy because he was vaguely disturbed, and he didn’t dare to question, for fear of hurting Zhao Jinxin’s heart. He really needs to calm down all his thoughts at once, and then can he only figure it out.
But Zhao Jinxin didn’t give him such a chance. He hugged his waist and said coquettishly: “You tell me, do you like me?”
Li Shuo was a little afraid to look into Zhao Jinxin’s expectant eyes. He hesitated and said: “Jinxin, I have to think about it.”
“Do you like me or not?” Zhao Jinxin pinched his chin and forced him to look at himself, “I know you like me too, why don’t you dare to admit it?”
“I’m not afraid to admit it.”
“Then what are you doing now? If you don’t like me, just look into my eyes and say it.” Zhao Jinxin simply straddled his lap unwilling to let go.
Li Shuo bit his lip lightly. He had never felt like he was so foolish before. He didn’t even dare to admit that he liked someone. Especially compared with Zhao Jinxin’s frankness, he felt that he was too unmanly. He took a deep breath: “Jinxin, I like you, but…”
Zhao Jinxin blocked his lips forcefully and threw him down into the rose petals again.
Before Li Shuo had time to calmly think about the relationship between the two, he was dizzy by the superb kissing skills, and Zhao Jinxin only let him go until he was out of breath.
Zhao Jinxin could not control his hands, Li Shuo grabbed his hand: “You wait…”
“I don’t care, you like me, you are mine.” Zhao Jinxin laughed, “I know you like me.”
“Jinxin, you also said that we had a misunderstanding, so I think we should make things clear before discussing other things.”
“What things?” Zhao Jinxin frowned, “My dear, why are you so fussy today?”
Li Shuo can’t accept being called ‘fussy’, but he can’t keep up with Zhao Jinxin’s rhythm. He always feels that somehow something is wrong.
Zhao Jinxin took another sip on his red and swollen lips: “Don’t think about it, anyway, you are right about everything, who told me to like you.”
The more frank and sincere Zhao Jinxin is, the more Li Shuo suspects that he himself is the one who’s narrow-minded. After all, the two of them have not discussed relationship issues positively and straightforwardly. If there is a misunderstanding, it is unavoidable. Isn’t it the normal case between couples? No matter how thorough and practiced, it’s impossible to know 100% of what the other is thinking.
Li Shuo’s character has always been one who would reflect on himself when something goes wrong. Zhao Jinxin’s move caught him off guard, and he really didn’t know what to do for a while.
Zhao Jinxin kissed him softly and rubbed his lips: “Uncle Li, you say one more time that you like me, I want to hear it.”
“What you said, you have admitted, why don’t you dare to say it? I really want to hear it.” Zhao Jinxin said with a smile, “You never said it, sometimes I think that you might not like me at all, I feel particularly uncomfortable. “
Li Shuo suddenly felt a little guilty, and he solemnly said: “Jin Xin, I really like you, I’m just a little confused right now.”
Zhao Jinxin smiled and said: “It’s enough to have you. You are Zhao Jinxin’s man. You are not allowed to get drunk outside in the future. Do you know the danger? I just don’t want to get angry at you, otherwise I should punish you well.”
“What can be dangerous for me as a big man?” Li Shuo thought of using alcohol to relieve his sorrows by himself, and felt a bit embarrassed. “And I didn’t want to drink too much. It may be that my fever wasn’t completely gone, so it’s especially easy to get drunk.”
“What can be dangerous?” Zhao Jinxin narrowed his eyes and squeezed Li Shuo’s cheek slightly, “Do you know how delicious you looked?”
Li Shuo said embarrassedly: “What do you mean by delicious?” He pushed Zhao Jinxin away again, got up from the wool blanket, knocked hard on the confused brain, took a deep breath, and felt that he was finally calmer. He whispered: “Jinxin, I like you, but I can’t understand your previous behavior. I have to ask about this.”
Zhao Jinxin also stood up, so he said in his spare time: “You can ask.”
Li Shuo looked at him unblinkingly: “When I wanted to live with you, why did you refuse?”
“I’m nervous.” Zhao Jinxin pouted, “I’ve never lived with anyone before, and I was a little confused when you suddenly raised the issue.”
Li Shuo thought for a while, he was really too impatient at the time, without any preparation at all, and suddenly asked to live together, which was really abrupt, and Zhao Jinxin’s reaction was reasonable.
Zhao Jinxin took Li Shuo’s hand and blinked his eyes: “Cohabitation and living separately, is it important? I think it is better to have a little distance between two people. If you get tired of being together all the time, there will be more clashes and conflicts, which affects feelings very much.”
Li Shuo smiled lightly. He didn’t want to tell Zhao Jinxin that he proposed to live together just out of temptation. If he was really interested in him, he wouldn’t refuse with such blunt and ridiculous reasons. This is why he still can’t fully believe Zhao Jinxin. He said: “You are right.”
Zhao Jinxin also smiled: “As long as I can be by your side, I feel very happy. You can’t drive me away anymore. I will always rely on you.”
Li Shuo slowly straightened his spine and recovered his usual rationality. He touched Zhao Jinxin’s face: “Jinxin, you have to listen carefully to everything I say now. These are the truth.”
Zhao Jinxin was startled slightly, Li Shuo’s candid and gentle gaze made him feel a guilty conscience, but he still nodded.
Li Shuo whispered: “Jin Xin, you are too elusive and fickle. I once said that you saved my father, the past grievances were wiped out, but the trust I lost in you could not be restored all at once. Especially after I discovered so many things, many of your behaviors made me very disgusted. Yes, I like you, but there are many things in life other than love, I can’t do as I want like you. Even when I was your age, I couldn’t do it.”
Zhao Jinxin listened quietly, without speaking.
Li Shuo continued: “I like you, I don’t want to give up the opportunity to be with you, but I also have a lot of doubts about you in my heart, so I now…”
“Let’s re-establish trust.” Zhao Jinxin snatched his words.
This time, it was Li Shuo’s turn to be quiet.
Zhao Jinxin grabbed his hand and put it on his waist: “I know your concerns, so we start from the beginning, but I don’t want to be your friend, I want to be your man.”
Li Shuo looked at him deeply, a voice in his heart said over and over again, do you really want to agree? Isn’t that what you want, why hesitate, why are you being so fussy, why do you become so foolish?
Li Shuo couldn’t say that the more he liked Zhao Jinxin, the more he was suffering from gains and losses. He never dared to imagine that he would become so indecisive and crazy about feelings, but every trace of his entanglement now really affects his heart. Almost as if he is not careful enough.
Zhao Jinxin took him into his arms: “You are not allowed to refuse. If you refuse, I will always pester you. Uncle Li, I know that you like to be with me and love to have sex with me. You are just angry at me. I will not annoy you anymore. Let’s be together, just like before. Do you remember, at the very beginning, we have been very suitable for each other and happy.”
Li Shuo’s heart moved by the words.
Before he found out that Zhao Jinxin approached with a purpose, it was indeed a happy time, but unfortunately it was fake.
What if they can become real? Who doesn’t want such happiness to be true?
Li Shuo sighed lightly. It should be a joy for everyone, but his mood was inexplicably heavy, but he still resolutely said: “Jinxin, I… accept what you said, and we will re-establish trust.” It is ridiculous to think about it. After they went around such a big circle and caused so many messy things, they just returned to the original starting point. If Zhao Jinxin had responded in the hospital at that time, how much harm would have been avoided without involving others.
Li Shuo felt a little tired, because he had many things he couldn’t figure out.
He likes numbers. He likes the logic of numbers. One is one. Two is two. As long as the method is right, he will be able to calculate the beginning, the middle, and the end clearly. This caters to the core part of the other’s personality.
But feelings are the most difficult thing in the world to sort out, so he rejects over-committed feelings in every way, but he didn’t expect himself to fall into a pit.
While he loathes himself, getting lost in his own emotions, he sinks into it uncontrollably. He feels like there’s a swamp under his feet. The more he struggles, the deeper he sinks, and he couldn’t get out. He might not even want to get out.
He can’t believe that someone can turn him into this…
Should he be happy, or should he worry?
Zhao Jinxin didn’t seem to worry so much. He picked up Li Shuo, turned around happily twice, and laughed: “Uncle Li is mine.”
Li Shuo looked at Zhao Jinxin with undisguised joy and suppressed his worries. Maybe it was because the confession came so suddenly that it was difficult for him to digest, so that he gave birth to so many thoughts. Zhao Jinxin wants to be lovers. Isn’t it what he himself has always wanted? His performance today… no wonder why Zhao Jinxin mocked him as being fussy.
Since the two love each other, he should try hard to tie this person to his side. This is real now.
Li Shuo looked at Zhao Jinxin with a strong desire for conquest rising in his heart.
*Translator’s Note: the Li Shuo being fussy part…Zhao JinXin actually called Li Shuo a ‘mother-in-law’ to associate with being fussy. But I changed all that into the word ‘fussy’ so that it’s easier for you guys to understand.