NB Chapter86

The floor-to-ceiling windows were installed in the living room specifically to watch the afterglow of the sunset, but he seemed uninterested and rarely looked outside.

One evening when I returned home, I heard that he had asked someone what kind of flowers were planted in the garden and what trees had been set down. The person following him couldn’t answer and suggested calling the butler. He shook his head and refused. I took off my coat and walked upstairs. When I opened the bedroom door, I saw him leaning against the headboard reading. For a period of time, he would read aloud in a very low voice. He read with concentration, his finger tracking beneath the words, moving along line by line like a child. I didn’t ask him why, nor was I curious. As long as he had his own small sources of pleasure, he would think about death a little less.

I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed wondering if he would suddenly ask me about the species of a tree. So I waited from eight-thirty until ten o’clock. The sound of his reading gradually faded, replaced by his eyes fixed on the pages, immersed within. When he finally looked up and turned toward me, it was as if he were seeing me for the first time. His pupils paused for a moment, like a wild animal suddenly caught in the beam of a flashlight in a wilderness documentary. He said nothing. The next day, I bought an encyclopedia of plants and gave it to him.

I have always been interested in why people live. I’ve read some books and discovered that what I want to understand is neither biology nor philosophy. My sample size is very small; most of them are right beside me. The glide of a bird and the growth of a tree give me a sense of constancy; something that also exists in humans, though only as a fleeting, flickering presence.

The easiest to speculate about, yet the most difficult to grasp, is our daughter; a child. From relying on formula to swallowing simple solid foods, she remained soft for a time before her teeth gradually began to grow. He would hold her, curious, yet he never forced her lips apart; from time to time, he would glance around, and, finding no one there, make a face to tease a laugh out of her, then tilt his head to watch her reaction.

I told Zhan Weiqing about this. I said: In that instant, I felt a kind of weightlessness throughout my body. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like her, because to her, you are just a stranger. As children grow up, they always bring some trouble, but I can be tolerant because Keke is my daughter, and I cherish her.

His face turned pale as he sat across from me with his hands crumpling the fabric at his knees.

I turned the ring on my finger, not looking at him at all.

Zhan Weiqing said, “We both know she isn’t your child, Brother Mingsheng. I still have the blanket you used to wrap the stillborn.”

He was always like this, never listening to what I said.

I said, “You are always keeping useless things, always. Your surname is Zhan; you can hire the best bodyguards. If you don’t have the money, I can even lend you more. As for useless things, I will help you clear them out.”

A scream rang out in the other room. It seemed they weren’t in enough pain yet as they still had the strength to scream. I hadn’t brought Ah Hai with me this time; his skill at dislocating arms is something others couldn’t learn even with ten more years of practice.

I looked at Zhan Weiqing and told him, “Ah Qing, my patience is limited. My gratitude toward you is already far outweighed by the trouble you bring me. Tell me, where is the other one?”

Normally, I don’t like to speak this much. But when the person across from you is a bit dim, you have to lower your voice, use more words, and put on a bit of a performance. It’s like those cartoons children love; the characters usually have no joints and just wave their thick, stubby limbs around in bright colors to grab their attention.

Another howl drifted over. It was noisy. Humans have too many joints; you have to go through them one by one.

At home, if there was too much noise, he would frown. Because of that, for one week, I let Zhang Xiaoyuan play the piano at will until he finally got angry and shot me a heavy glare. He said, if the child doesn’t like it, don’t force him to learn. I said, he likes it, that’s why he’s playing like that. His brow stayed furrowed for over a minute before gradually relaxing, and he never mentioned it again. Zhang Xiaoyuan also quickly returned to normal practice; monotonous with the next note being predictable.

I waited for Zhan Weiqing’s reply, the wedding ring on my ring finger turning another three and a half times.

He hesitated for a long time, not speaking until the room next door fell silent. Then he said, “Those two things are twin brothers. Now that the other one has seen me take his sibling, he will definitely seek revenge.”

“Revenge?” I asked. “Specifically, what do you mean?”

Zhan Weiqing looked up, perspiration clinging to his face in individual droplets like transparent ladybugs, making his entire countenance appear cramped. Within his forced expression of apology, I detected something amiss. It wasn’t until he said that the fellow might have already reached my home that I understood, it was a provocation.

I said nothing, merely lifting my eyelids to look at him.

“They share a deep brotherly bond, Brother Mingsheng. I… I couldn’t help it.” Zhan Weiqing’s eyes reddened. He stood up and adopted a pleading posture like a child who had touched something they shouldn’t have.

I glanced to the side as Ah Shan unfolded my overcoat.

We were leaving.

I rose from the sofa, donned my coat, and prepared to walk out. As I passed Zhan Weiqing, I said, “Ah Qing, you’re not a child anymore; you can’t expect me to clean up your messes every time. I have a family now.”

“As for what you just said.”

I looked into his eyes and noticed his eyelashes were trembling.

It was laughable and disgusting. I gave him a brief smile and patted him on the shoulder.

It didn’t take long to rush home. Before I even reached the door, I heard a gunshot; one shot, then a second. Could it be that Aunt Liu’s macaroni has been so delicious lately that Ah Hai’s marksmanship has declined? I shrugged off my coat, tossed it into Ah Shan’s arms, and headed straight through the unobstructed front doors. I had been too merciful to Zhan Weiqing by letting him visit too many times; after we move, I’ll ensure he can’t even step on the front doormat.

A couple of lamps in the living room were out. Behind the sofa, two figures were locked in a struggle.

His combat skills had declined as well.

I walked over, grabbed the man by his rear collar, and hauled him off Ah Hai while casually picking up a vase as I did so.

Anyone’s skull can be shattered; it’s simply a matter of the tool and the force applied.

He took a hit, suddenly let out a roar, and slowly turned around.

I am not superstitious; I didn’t mind him seeing me before he died.

When he collapsed onto the floor, Ah Hai managed to scramble up while panting heavily.

Officer Yu always thinks I’m mistreating him and Ah Shan by dragging them through life-and-death situations with me; looking at it now, most of the time it’s just me going through life, and then death, again.

I said to Ah Hai, “If you don’t have a gun, there are other things. With so many objects in the living room, do you think I’m afraid of you breaking them? If you die, I’ll have to find a way to explain and prove that I wasn’t the one who killed you.”

Ah Hai gasped for air, unable to speak, and simply nodded.

“Which floor?” I asked him.

He swallowed before answering. “Second floor. In the Young Master’s room.”

Young master this, young master that; if Zhang Xiaoyuan heard it, he would surely curl his lip in annoyance.

“Call the police. Say someone illegally trespassed into a private residence and we acted in self-defense. Remember to clear up the casings. Tell the investigators to look closely at who the deceased is before they decide whether to give us any trouble.”

I walked past him and went straight upstairs toward my destination. Ah Shan followed behind me.

The lights were all out, and every door was tightly shut, except for Keke’s bedroom.

I turned the doorknob, but it wouldn’t budge.

It was locked from the inside.

After turning it a few more times to confirm this, I spoke out:

“Ah Yu.”

“Open the door.”

The door opened slowly. At first, it was just a crack; then it gradually widened.

That bastard Ah Shan, I don’t know why he turned on his flashlight and shone it directly inside.

Did he think I married Bai Suzhen and she’d suddenly turn into a giant python?

I reached out to push his light down and instructed him to go inside and get the child: “They should be in the bathroom. Go and carry them out.”

Only after they had all left did I walk in and close the door behind me.

In the brief moment the flashlight had swept across him, he hadn’t squinted at all. He was beautiful, beautiful like a wild animal, but he had been sick too often; he held that baseball bat while trembling with a shiver he wasn’t even aware of. He looked quite different than he used to, but those eyes, which could never truly evade anything, had never changed.

Whether he was hiding in the grass or hiding in a room.

Over these years, he has constantly questioned me, asking what it is I actually want. He is skilled at putting me in impossible situations. I have no answer to give him. If what existed between us were truly as simple as taking and giving, I wouldn’t have kept him here.

Lately, Zhang Xiaoyuan has taken a liking to flipping through the dictionary, searching for the antonyms of “betrayal” and “submission.”

It’s very simple: “loyalty” and “unyieldingness.”

But no one knows how they actually exist.

I suppose I want to see them with my own eyes too.

I told him we were moving. He gave no reaction; a long time passed before he finally moved away from my side.

The moment he opened the door, he said, “Remember to wash your face.”

There was blood on my face; I knew that.

Even though I was being reminded of something I was already aware of, even though it was like that.

Why did I still answer him, “Alright”?

I have said before that everything he brings me is more novel than what anyone else does. It isn’t easy to find the right clothes for him, and even harder to let him naturally become someone else; I can only start from the surface, dressing him in clothes he has never tried before, which takes quite a bit of effort. I know I cannot completely change him. For me, wanting to keep him is a challenge.

In fact, I could have made many more attempts by changing him into all sorts of forms, granting him different identities, and then settling him by my side.

But on the day we moved, the way he slightly lifted the brim of his hat to look outside was very interesting.

The Red Residence also had floor-to-ceiling windows. We arrived just in time for dusk, the sunset clouds painting the horizon in a golden red glow.

He sat on the sofa with head lowered, gazing at the vase on the coffee table.

I suddenly noticed that the few stray hairs sticking up on his head were golden.

I think, for the time being, he can only be my wife.

T/N: I’ll post the rest of extra chapters all at once, don’t leave yet.