NB Chapter56

Zhang Mingsheng fell silent, then smiled. “Why do you ask that?”

“You lent me clothes and gave me a watch; it all felt like tactics for chasing a girl. But Mr. Zhang, I am not a girl,” I replied. “I hate the way you look at me.”

“If I made you uncomfortable, I apologize.” Zhang Mingsheng said.

Then, I walked away.

When I reached the next streetlamp, he called out loudly from behind me, “Then in your heart, Officer Yu, what kind of person am I?”

Zhang Mingsheng had already stepped out of the car. His voice dropped slightly as he asked, “What were you thinking when you saved me?”

I halted.

“My life isn’t worth much. You risked your life to save me, Officer Yu, and it wouldn’t have earned you much of a reward either. I want to know why too.”

The light of the streetlamp attracted a few moths circling in a daze.

“No one has ever treated me like that. I was surprised.” Zhang Mingsheng’s voice was steady. “You must know my background; after all, you’re always buying the newspapers that carry my scandals.”

I turned back and met his calm gaze.

Zhang Mingsheng smiled. “It’s not that I intended to stalk you. It’s just that while I was birdwatching with my binoculars, I accidentally saw you. You come here often with another person to visit someone. Is it a friend? Or a family?”

So, he had seen me many times before. Since when? Starting from which newspaper?

He walked toward me slowly, ending the previous topic. “Alright, I’ve said plenty about myself. Your turn.”

“I never agreed to trade life stories with you.”

“Would you rather I investigate it myself?”

He had dropped the facade.

“I’m actually wondering, Officer Yu, have you ever had a partner?” He asked. “A girl or a boy?”

The question struck me. My lips parted and closed; I couldn’t speak for a long while.

After some thought, I answered honestly: “I have.”

Zhang Mingsheng looked dazed. He pressed further, “You have? It seems it’s already over then. How long were you together?”

“Eight years.”

“Were you happy?”

“No.”

“Perhaps you loved him.”

I looked down at my own wrist; there was no scar there.

“Maybe.”

“How long did you love him?”

“About…” The words slipped out subconsciously, my heart suddenly jolting. “…Ten years.”

The attraction had once been so distinct.

“I’ve never had a partner.” Zhang Mingsheng looked up at the night sky. “My friend always tells girls that he’ll pluck the stars from the sky for them. But in the end, he just gives them diamonds or sapphires. I find those things too light, too ethereal. So, others tell me that love is about building a family, having children, and making a lifelong commitment.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I just feel that you, Officer Yu, are someone who is good at life. What is it that you want?”

The night sky was silent with stars flickering faintly.

I looked up.

Actually, sometimes, all I want are countless moments like this one.

Which was healthy, peaceful and safe.

“You were together for eight years, and you loved him; why did you separate?” Zhang Mingsheng looked over.

“Because he died.” I said flatly.

“I’m sorry.” Zhang Mingsheng gave a bitter smile.

It was darkly ironic, he didn’t even realize he was listening to news of his own death.

“It’s fine. I’m the one who killed him.”

“Did you dispose of the body properly?” Zhang Mingsheng was still smiling. “The first time you kill someone, you’re bound to be a bit unskilled.”

So, his younger self exposed his true nature this bluntly.

“It doesn’t matter, Officer Yu,” Zhang Mingsheng said. “If you need help with anything, just call me.”

He pulled a fountain pen from his pocket, fished out a small, folded piece of paper, unfolded it, and tore it in half down the middle.

“No need. I’m a cop; unless it’s necessary, I don’t kill people.”

“I know.” Zhang Mingsheng capped his pen. He folded the slip of paper into a plane and tossed it into the air.

The plane flew clumsily through the dim light of the streetlamp, looking as if it might crash at any second.

Finally, it landed at my feet.

I didn’t pick it up.

“No one has ever asked me these questions,” Zhang Mingsheng said. “No one has ever asked me how I view them. I always thought that no one in this world cared about my thoughts.”

“But since Officer Yu asked, I will give it some serious thought, because right now, I can’t quite sum it up.”

“I don’t understand exactly how I see you, Officer Yu,” Zhang Mingsheng said softly, looking at me. “One day, I suddenly realized I hadn’t used my binoculars to watch birds in a long time; instead, I was staring at that newspaper stand. I knew something had changed, but I didn’t understand why.”

On his youthful face, there was actually a trace of faint sorrow.

Zhang Mingsheng said goodbye to me. As the car drove past, he rolled down the window and called out, “Officer Yu! Thank you for appearing today. I will definitely give it a good think!”

The silver car sped away, kicking up dust.

The melancholy of the rich is not to be trusted.

Back at home, I washed up and took out the watch Zhang Mingsheng had given me from the drawer.

Unfolding the handkerchief it was wrapped in, I revealed the polished surface beneath. Only then did I suddenly notice that the hands had stopped moving.

I wondered if it was still worth any money like this.

I decided to try my luck at the orphanage tomorrow. Calculating by age, Zhang Xiaoyuan should have arrived at the orphanage by now. I planned to buy him some gifts.

I won’t marry; I have no partner, and I cannot adopt a child either.

I can only visit him often.

As for Keke, she hasn’t even been born yet.

Lying in bed, my mind felt unnaturally clear: where exactly had the money for my mentor’s house come from?

He found my lost ID; why didn’t he tell me?

Were the things Zhang Yaonian said on the phone actually true? Did it have something to do with the love between Zhang Mingsheng’s parents?

As I grew older, I realized long ago that my mentor was not as carefree as he liked to appear. Shimu had married down, and for years he had relied on her support, all the while playing the role of a diligent, devoted husband and father at home.

But the moment he stepped out of the house, he placed immense expectations on Li Yi and me. At the time, I just took him as a strict mentor.

That dream; or perhaps, the previous life.

I died then too, but it wasn’t suicide.

The person who fired the shot at me certainly wasn’t Li Yi.

Then that only leaves…

I don’t dare think about it.

Have I truly been graced by the heavens to start over?

Today, that charlatan told me my life would be short.

With a sigh, I rolled over and fell into a heavy, fitful sleep.

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