NB Chapter17

I do not trust this child.

At first, it was an unconscious lack of trust; adults instinctively tend to dismiss a child’s sense of responsibility and capability. Later, I distrusted him because I came to understand that some children are like snakes that can never be warmed; no matter how clever they are, the moment they lose the warmth they long for, they will spring up and bite back.

The past had long since turned my heart cold, freezing the relationship between us solidly. Thinking about it now, if I met a random child on the street who needed help tying their shoelaces, my interaction with them would probably feel more natural than my relationship with Zhang Xiaoyuan.

Zhang Xiaoyuan stood there, small and slight. Though his face still carried traces of baby fat, it was already possible to see how beautiful his eyes were; they were dark and quiet, framed by thick, long lashes, the very image of Zhang Mingsheng’s eyes. At times, I genuinely felt he was Zhang Mingsheng’s biological child.

I don’t know what kind of person I appear to be in this child’s eyes. Even with my altered appearance and ruined voice, I still have broad shoulders I cannot conceal, and an Adam’s apple that can only be hidden in the shadow cast by a lowered head.

Yet Zhang Xiaoyuan was looking at me with such resolve now, even though his small hands were trembling slightly. Suddenly, he let go.

Before I could answer, he had already turned and ran out the door, moving just like that little pony of his named “Lightning.”

Amidst the terrifying cacophony from the first floor, I could still hear the sound of his feet in cotton socks hitting the floor; thump-thump-thump, thump-thump-thump. He was taking large strides. I’d heard he was very talented at sports at school and always ranked well in competitions. Zhang Mingsheng didn’t care about such things, but Ah Hai was constantly praising the “young master” for how impressive he was. The school had held “Parent-Child Sports Day” events before; Zhang Mingsheng never attended, and it goes without saying that I didn’t either. It was always Ah Hai or Ah Shan who looked after him.

If I were still Yu Fuchao, and if Zhang Xiaoyuan were a child I had adopted, then as his father, I certainly would have taken time off work to participate.

It is a pity that my bond with him as a parent is so twisted that it can only exist in the cracks of the shadows; only by standing in a deserted place can I steal a quiet glance.

One second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, five seconds.

A full thirty seconds passed. I felt a sense of relief that I hadn’t lost the ability to keep precise time.

Zhang Xiaoyuan’s footsteps sounded like my own heartbeat, drawing nearer and growing louder with every step.

He was right outside the door and pushed it open.

The moment I saw the faces of the two siblings, I felt an uncanny calmness, and a terrifying thought suddenly rose in my mind.

Do I really need to take responsibility for these two children?

If I were cruel enough to sever my feelings for them; right here, right now, would I have a better chance of leaving this place, of leaving Zhang Mingsheng?

Before I could linger on it, Keke’s weight pressed down on that fleeting, smoke-like thought. The past and the future vanished in an instant, leaving only the present; filled with the distant sounds of struggle and the pale glow of the lights.

Panting, Zhang Xiaoyuan carefully placed Keke into my arms, then turned and firmly shut the door. Keke’s face was flushed and rosy, her eyelids heavy with sleep; she had clearly fallen asleep right after eating. She leaned against my shoulder, her breath warm against my ear, “Mommy, what’s happening?”

I said, “It’s nothing. Gege just wanted to find you so we could all play together.”

I looked back at Zhang Xiaoyuan, at his still-childish features and his slightly parted mouth. He was trying hard to steady his breathing, looking as though he were trying to act more grown-up than he was.

I said, “You did very well.”

He showed no change in expression, though his eyes widened slightly.

The sounds of a struggle drifted up from downstairs.

Zhang Mingsheng keeps a small staff here, and their backgrounds vary. Some are domestic servants from the Zhang family who only know him as the “Young Master of the Zhang Clan,” and are unlikely to resort to violence. Others were left behind by his parents and aunt, Ah Hai and Ah Shan were among them. They are closer to him, and Zhang Mingsheng entrusts them with much more.

I have only a general understanding of these people; they are armed, rarely appear inside the house, and usually follow Zhang Mingsheng outside like black shadows.

I mentally went over today’s rotation and concluded that, downstairs at this moment, Ah Hai was likely the only one carrying a gun.

This place is situated halfway up a mountain, and the labor costs for the hired security are exorbitant, to say nothing of the various security systems and technology. Zhang Mingsheng is always cautious; I had no idea who could have broken through several checkpoints to head straight for the front door.

I have no guns. My weapon and my credentials vanished without a trace many years ago.

At that thought, I held Keke a little tighter, gently pressing a kiss to the soft crown of her head. Zhang Xiaoyuan also leaned closer, looking slightly awkward. I reached out my hand to him, and he took it without hesitation.

I understand him. In truth, he and I are the same; as children, we didn’t want to be abandoned, and when we caught hold of something, we wanted to grip it even tighter. But in the end, I was never adopted by any family.

I truly wonder which of us, he or I, is the luckier one.

A gunshot rang out, followed by a violent crash. Something shattered, whether it was the crystal chandelier or the glass doors of the living room, I couldn’t tell; I had no way of knowing.

I waited for nearly a minute, but there were no more shots.

I figured there was now a piece of good news and a piece of bad news. The good news: the intruder was out of bullets. The bad news: Ah Hai was out of bullets too.

Ah Hai was no longer young; moreover, he had always possessed a moral compass. I wasn’t sure if he could gain the upper hand against a killer whose murderous intent was so thick I could smell it from the second floor.

I patted my daughter’s back, looked into Zhang Xiaoyuan’s eyes, and told them, “Close your eyes. Do not open them until Mommy says you can.”

I told myself; I told my own body: Do not forget. Do not forget every hand-to-hand combat technique and method you ever trained for. Though they had withered along with my muscles, strangled by pain and illness within this increasingly emaciated frame, I begged myself: Though the past is gone, I still need the remnants of who I was.

I needed him; I needed Yu Fuchao. I needed the traces of his existence and everything he possessed. I needed that lingering toughness of my youth to protect everything I wanted to protect.

I felt the sweat in Zhang Xiaoyuan’s palm. I knew he was afraid too.

So, I gripped his hand even tighter.

In whichever year this was of my time at Zhang Mingsheng’s side, this was the second time I had faced a threat that did not come from Zhang Mingsheng himself.

Who exactly did this wretch provoke, and what mess did he get into? All my hatred once again fell squarely on Zhang Mingsheng.

I began to grit my teeth.

“Pick up your sister and hide in your bathroom. Do not make a sound.”

I placed Keke on the floor and put her small hand into Zhang Xiaoyuan’s. At this critical juncture, I finally chose to trust this child. I entrusted my daughter to him; he took Keke by the hand, gave me one last look, and ran toward the bathroom. The figures of the two children; one tall, one short, disappeared. They didn’t know what was happening, but they obeyed the adult’s instructions to hide in the bathroom, perhaps even climbing into the bathtub.

And then?

What about me?

If I were to die, and die because of Zhang Mingsheng, would he still cause trouble for Li Yi? In a moment of such intense tension, I suddenly grew calm and began to calculate what my life could be traded for.

At that thought, a sudden shock hit me. I didn’t know if Zhang Mingsheng was still alive or if he had already died somewhere on the road to allow someone to storm his front door so recklessly.

If he were dead…

Could Zhang Mingsheng actually die?

A man with his kind of luck; even when he crashed while drag racing, he still had a fool like me to pull him out. I ended up with a long gash on my arm, leaving behind a fleshy pink scar. Meanwhile, he was unscathed; aside from a mind that differed from ordinary people, everything about him was healthy and sound. At thirty-five, he looked no different than he did in his twenties, still gentle and handsome on the surface.

I began to resent myself, why was I thinking about him? Let him die for all I care!

They had begun to fight hand-to-hand downstairs. The walls emitted dull thuds as bodies collided with them; occasionally, there was the heavy crash of falling objects and the sharp, brittle spray of shattering glass. The noises were loud and frequent, creating a jarring contrast to the silence of the second floor, where only the sound of my own breathing remained.

I found a baseball bat, gripped it tightly in my hands, and switched off the lights. In the darkness, my fingers trembled uncontrollably; I kept having to adjust my grip just to stop the bat from slipping out of my palm.

I don’t know how long I waited.

By the time the struggle downstairs subsided with a final roar, the fabric against my back was soaked through with cold sweat. I could no longer tell if I was afraid or not; I only knew that my nerves were stretched so thin I could hear the dripping of a faucet in the bathroom. Every gust of wind outside the window felt like a form of torture.

Suddenly, someone came upstairs. I could hear them on the staircase; it was the steady tap-tap of leather shoes. I wasn’t sure who was moving down the long corridor, but I could tell there was more than one person outside the door. How could that be? If Ah Hai had won, he would be the only one coming up.

I held my breath.

The footsteps stopped right outside the door.

With a sharp ‘click’, the lights in the hallway went out.

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