Morning and Evening Chapter 12

He Mu deliberately lingered in bed for a long time, feeling a void in his heart. Chang Ming’an’s pillow was slightly dampened by the tears that welled up in his eyes, but he quickly held them back, so it was only a tiny bit.

He Mu stared at the damp stain, wiping it with his fingers again and again, before finally giving up and turning Chang Ming’an’s pillow over and putting it back in its original place.

When he got up, Chang Ming’an had already left. There was a sticky note on the microwave with Chang Ming’an’s handwriting on it, which was vigorous and restrained.

Breakfast.

He Mu felt a bit cold, so he pulled out his bathrobe and put it on. He turned on the microwave, which contained the porridge and steamed buns that Chang Ming’an had bought that morning. He didn’t have class today, but he still ate quickly, rested for a while, stretched on the carpet in the living room, and did some morning exercises for half an hour, working up a sweat.

Although it was autumn and a chill was beginning to set in, the sun was shining brightly and the sky was high and the clouds were light.

He Mu put on his hoodie and jeans and went downstairs. The ginkgo trees all over the school were famous far and wide. Besides the students coming and going, there were also tourists from the neighborhood taking pictures among the fallen yellow leaves. He walked alone, looking particularly lonely. Even the best sunshine couldn’t make him happy.

He Mu walked along, hands in his pockets. He never walked in the middle of the school path; he always walked along the edge of the greenery, head down, his footsteps rustling the fallen leaves beneath his feet. He remembered that Chang Ming’an’s desk and bookshelf were placed next to the bay window in his bedroom, with his class schedule pressed under the glass of the desk. He had taken out his phone and taken a picture of it this morning when he got up. He took out his phone and checked; Chang Ming’an should be in Building 1 preparing for class at this time.

He Mu looked up and saw that it was Building 1. He didn’t know whether he had just walked there by chance or had deliberately come here.

There were still five minutes before class started, and the large lecture hall was already almost full. He Mu hesitated at the back door for a moment, then saw Chang Ming’an carrying books and walking towards them down the corridor. He quickly and guiltily slipped into the classroom and found a seat in a corner at the back.

He thought it would be awkward for him not to have a book or pen, but to his surprise, the girls sitting next to him in the last row were all on their phones, chattering away before class started. The books on their desks were mostly not related to economics; they were all kinds of books from various places, just for show.

The school bell rang, and everyone gradually quieted down. It would be too conspicuous to leave at this time, so He Mu could only sit quietly and try to minimize his presence.

Chang Ming’an took off his coat and draped it aside, put on his half-rimmed glasses, and wore his usual shirt and suit pants underneath. Although he was not muscular, he had a habit of exercising. His shoulders were broad and straight, and the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, making him look upright yet gentle.

It was the first time He Mu had seriously studied a work of Chang Ming’an’s. Facing nearly two hundred people, he remained calm and unhurried. Although the content was completely incomprehensible to He Mu, he leaned on the table, rested his chin on the back of his hand, and looked out through the gaps between the heads of the people in front of him, listening very attentively.

After speaking for nearly an hour, Teacher Chang allowed everyone to discuss freely.

The classroom immediately buzzed with conversation. Chang Ming’an stepped down from the podium and leaned over to listen to the discussion among the students in the middle row, sensing that he was about to move to the back. He Mu felt like a strange stalker and peeping tom, and quickly looked at the girl sitting next to him, trying to pretend to listen to the discussion and avoid attracting Chang Ming’an’s attention.

Little did anyone know that the girl next door wasn’t listening at all.

“He’ll be here in a bit, we can get a shot from this angle, right?”

“Turn off the flash! It was so embarrassing last time…”

“They’re here, they’re here, they’re here…”

He Mu: “…”

He Mu made eye contact with one of the girls, and awkwardly turned away, only to meet Chang Ming’an’s gaze again as he walked over. Chang Ming’an and He Mu locked eyes, then suddenly stopped, paused, and surprisingly turned back to the podium.

The girl next to him exclaimed, “Ugh, why isn’t he coming over?!”

He Mu quickly slumped onto the table, his face inexplicably flushed at first, then, after his racing heartbeat subsided, a sudden sense of loss washed over him. Chang Ming’an probably didn’t like him like this; maybe he was angry.

The girl next to him was still complaining quietly when Chang Ming’an’s lecture began again in the classroom.

I don’t think they’re angry.

“It is part of the entire market economy system—”

He Mu secretly raised his head and peeked out through the gaps between people. Chang Ming’an’s gaze happened to pass through nearly two hundred people and caught He Mu. Caught red-handed, He Mu quickly looked away and looked down at the table.

No one in the classroom knew why Chang Ming’an had stopped. Someone whispered, “Teacher, what is it?”

Chang Ming’an quickly looked down and flipped through two pages of the book before continuing.

“One, an organic component.”

When class ended, the students filed out. Chang Ming’an patiently answered a few questions and began tidying up his things on the podium. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw He Mu with his head down and hands in his pockets, walking silently toward the back door.

“Wait…”

He Mu stopped in his tracks, took his hands out of the front pocket of his hoodie, placed them on either side, then, feeling uncomfortable, put them back into his pants pocket.

Chang Ming’an draped his coat over his arm, walked through the now-empty lecture hall, and stood in front of He Mu. He stood at the bottom of the steps, his line of sight level with He Mu’s.

“I want to discuss something with you.”

He Mu avoided eye contact and said, “Mm.”

“I have a research project that’s about to be completed, so I’m quite busy lately and might have to live at the university.”

He Mu suddenly felt a surge of inexplicable joy: “Mm.”

Chang Ming’an seemed relieved and said, “I might occasionally bring a few graduate students over to work on the final project materials.”

He Mu quickly said, “It’s your house, why are you asking me?”

“It’s fine as long as there are no problems. I was afraid of bothering you.” Chang Ming’an smiled, raised his hand to check his watch, and asked, “Shall we go have lunch?”

He Mu recalled what had just happened and asked, “Are you angry? I was just passing by…”

“Angry?” Chang Ming’an quickly denied, “No, no.”

“That…”

“I just feel a little embarrassed.” Chang Ming’an took off his glasses and smiled at He Mu again.

He Mu quickly turned around and left. Hearing Chang Ming’an calling him from behind, he said without turning his head, “No, I won’t eat anymore.”

He rushed through the corridor, pockets in his hands, and walked quite a distance before standing once more on the school path strewn with yellow leaves, catching his breath. Just then, a gust of wind blew by, causing ginkgo leaves to flutter down, eliciting gasps of surprise from several tourists taking photos. The sunlight streamed down, warming everyone.

He Mu suddenly felt that the autumn sky was vast and the sun was shining brightly, and his mood improved again.

He felt like a puppet on a string, his smile sometimes deep, sometimes shallow, his mood sometimes good, sometimes bad, all the strings were in Chang Ming’an’s hands.