Morning and Evening Chapter 10

After initially refusing, He Mu felt he might have been too blunt, so he added, “I don’t want to eat out.”

Chang Ming’an hung the coat he had picked up back up and said helplessly, “Okay.”

He strode into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and rummaged through it. Inside, there was only a small bunch of wilted greens, a few cucumbers, and some frozen pork ribs. He hesitated for a moment, then rolled up his shirt sleeves and said confidently, “You wait and eat.”

He Mu, holding the cat, stood at the kitchen doorway, watching Chang Ming’an wash vegetables with his sleeves rolled up. Chang Ming’an was washing them intently, a few strands of his combed hair falling down. After washing them, Chang Ming’an took out a cucumber, picked up a knife, and muttered to himself, “How about I make a cold salad?”

He made careful, even cautious, cuts, then looked up at He Mu, Mumu, and the four of them staring at him. Chang Ming’an cleared his throat and said, “Are you going to sit and wait?”

He Mu finally understood. He put the cat down, rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie to reveal his slender white wrists, and said, “You can’t cook, can you…?”

Chang Ming’an was ruthlessly exposed: he couldn’t cook, and the food in the refrigerator was left behind by his ex-girlfriend. He coughed twice, his fist pressed against his lips, and stepped aside to let He Mu take his place.

With one hand holding down the cucumber on the cutting board, He Mu used the other to swiftly slice it into neat, thin strips. He then found a small packet of leftover fermented black beans in a corner of the kitchen and began mixing them with the chopped spare ribs. Soon, the kitchen was filled with the aroma of food.

Chang Ming’an stood by the door, watching He Mu silently bury himself in cooking. He Mu seemed like a completely different person when dressed as a woman and a man; one was alluring and generous, the other silent and timid.

“If you want, you can wear women’s clothes, I don’t mind.”

As Chang Ming’an spoke, he stepped forward, brushed the hair that had fallen beside He Mu’s cheek behind his head, and helped carry out the mixed cucumber salad.

He Mu paused for a moment, then dipped his finger in the sauce from the steamed ribs, put it in his mouth and sucked on it. The taste was just right.

After Chang Ming’an set out the dishes, He Mu came out of the room after changing his clothes. It was the dark purple bathrobe that Chang Ming’an had seen before, the silk surface shimmering with a soft sheen, the belt tied at the waist neatly, and a small patch of smooth skin showing through the V-shaped opening. The bathrobe only covered his knees, revealing He Mu’s calves. He had danced for many years, his muscles were long and slender, and the arch of his feet was just right.

Chang Ming’an shifted his gaze somewhat uncomfortably, focusing on carefully placing the steaming hot rice he had just served, and said, “Be careful not to catch a cold.”

He Mu shrugged noncommittally, pulled out a chair and sat down, crossing his legs and raising them. The hem of his robe slipped to the sides, revealing most of his fair thigh. Looking down through the gap between the clothes and his skin, one could vaguely see the tender flesh at the base of his thigh and the part covered by shadow.

The two sat facing each other and began to eat. He Mu became noticeably more lively, picking up a piece of pork rib with the tip of his chopsticks and putting it in his mouth. Chang Ming’an also tried a piece. The rib was steamed perfectly, the fermented black beans were fragrant, and it went very well with the rice. He smiled and said, “Delicious.”

He Mu bit the tip of his chopsticks and looked at him, a small section of his fleshy red tongue sticking out and pressing against the tip of the chopsticks.

Chang Ming’an said casually, “When did you start liking to dress like this?”

He Mu bit his chopsticks and mumbled, “It was in junior high school. I didn’t know anything back then, but I got an erection after I put it on.”

Chang Ming’an was taken aback by his directness and choked on his rice, coughing twice. In his spare time these past few days, he had searched online for some articles about transvestism and read them. They did mention that this sexual fetish generally begins in late childhood and is at least initially related to sexual arousal.

Seeing that Chang Ming’an looked a little embarrassed, He Mu slowly swallowed a mouthful of rice and said leisurely, “It started in junior high school. Boys would start discussing those kinds of topics and would pass them around in private, but I didn’t feel anything. Later, I secretly wore my cousin’s stockings and felt very excited. Then I got hard and ejaculated on them.”

He eventually secretly cut up and threw away the soiled stockings, and got a beating for it.

Chang Ming’an’s face flushed as he listened, but he tried to appear mature and composed, focusing only on his food and occasionally humming in agreement to show he was listening. He Mu’s eyes lingered on Chang Ming’an’s slightly reddened ears, and a smile crept across his face. His toes, sticking out from under the table, brushed against Chang Ming’an’s calf.

He used his toes to trace up Chang Ming’an’s calf, touching it little by little, until he placed his toes on Chang Ming’an’s taut thigh. Through the suit pants, his toes touched the firm and warm muscles of Chang Ming’an’s thigh.

Chang Ming’an immediately stood up, and He Mu’s feet fell back onto the cold floor as he moved.

“I’ll go wash the dishes.”

Despite bullying the honest man, He Mu felt no sense of accomplishment. He rested his chin on his hand, watching Chang Ming’an’s retreating figure as he headed towards the kitchen, lost in thought. Mumu finished her dinner and came under the table, meowing as she looked at the food. He Mu hooked her chin with his toe, his bright red toenails peeking out from between her snow-white fur.

In the evening, He Mu came out of the bathroom after taking a shower. He was always too lazy to dry himself thoroughly after showering, and there were still a few water droplets on his neck and a few strands of hair stuck to it. He saw Chang Ming’an sitting on the sofa reading a book under the floor lamp, wearing half-rimmed glasses. The soft yellow light shone on him, making him look very warm.

He Mu raised an eyebrow and asked, “Aren’t you leaving tonight?”

The sentence, which was perfectly fine whether heard forwards or backwards, took on a more alluring quality when spoken by He Mu in a drawn-out tone, sparking the imagination.

Chang Ming’an explained, “A friend is coming to pick up some things early tomorrow morning, so I’ll be staying here tonight.”

He pointed to a large storage box in the corner. It contained things his ex-girlfriend had left behind when she lived there, which he had packed up. His ex-girlfriend was a career-oriented woman, decisive and efficient. She moved out promptly after the breakup, but because she was away on a business trip, she hadn’t come to collect her belongings yet. They had arranged to come and pick them up first thing tomorrow morning.

He Mu had noticed the large box a long time ago and always thought it was Chang Ming’an’s odds and ends.

Chang Ming’an took off his glasses, rubbed the bridge of his nose, put the glasses and the book aside, and said, “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight. You should get some rest.”

When he finished showering and came out with a towel over his head, he saw He Mu already wrapped in a blanket and playing on his phone on the sofa. Chang Ming’an quickly said, “Go sleep in the bed, it’s quite chilly at night.”

He Mu said expressionlessly, “It’s not cold. I’ve been sleeping on it for several days.”

“It’ll wake you up very early tomorrow morning.” Chang Ming’an picked up the cat that was pressing against He Mu’s bottom. “Go inside and sleep.”

He Mu sat up with his arms wrapped around the blanket. He had long hair and was wearing a light pink women’s nightgown with thin straps hanging on his straight shoulders, revealing his collarbone and a red mole on his chest. His chest was flat, but upon closer inspection, two faint protrusions could be seen.

“Sorry, it would be hard to explain if my friends saw this,” He Mu said coldly.

“That’s not what I meant, sigh, you…” Chang Ming’an didn’t expect He Mu to be so sensitive, so easily provoked.

He Mu, carrying a blanket in one hand and pulling Chang Ming’an’s arm with the other, entered the bedroom, threw the blanket onto the bed, and shoved Chang Ming’an. Chang Ming’an staggered a couple of steps and sat directly on the bed. He Mu raised one foot and knelt on his thigh, pressing down on his attempt to get up. He poked Chang Ming’an’s chest with his finger and said, “Either we sleep in the bed together, or I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

Seeing that Chang Ming’an was about to speak, He Mu continued, “I won’t touch you, I promise.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Chang Ming’an said with a sigh, letting him press down on his legs. He reached out and grasped the finger that was poking his chest. “If you don’t mind, I’m fine with it. I’m just afraid you’ll mind.”

He Mu pulled his fingers out, climbed onto the bed without a word, wrapped himself in his blanket, and lay down on one side. He heard Chang Ming’an rustling as he made his bed, then the bed sank a little, and with a “click” as the light was turned off, the room was plunged into gentle darkness.

He Mu rolled over, lay face down, hugging his pillow, and heard Chang Ming’an’s steady breathing.

He didn’t know what he was thinking, but he knew that if others avoided him like the plague, treated him like nothing, or flocked to him, he could convince himself not to care. But Chang Ming’an was so good to him, and he didn’t want Chang Ming’an’s kindness to be shrouded in even the slightest shadow, even the thinnest shadow, he would care terribly.