LNTSWJLY Chapter 12

He likes me.

Upon reaching this conclusion, Yu Zhi was initially shocked and incredulous.

But then, all that remained was heartache and pity.

After thinking for a long time, the reasons why the young man might like him boiled down to his care and attention.

Why would he like himself?

The answer was simple: because Yu Zhi was good to him.

But looking at it from a different angle…

Why should he like himself?

Again, the answer was simple: because only Yu Zhi was good to him.

For a teenager who had experienced the cruelty of human nature, facing this indifferent world, he could only cling tightly to everything around him. And among all those things, the most important was Yu Zhi’s kindness towards him.

In the desolation of life, this kindness was like a rainbow, leaving a vivid and beautiful mark in the young man’s heart, attractive and enchanting, evoking affection.

If only there were more colors like this, he wouldn’t have been so captivated by this small piece.

Yet, Yu Zhi knew deep down that half of what he did was driven by duty, with impure motives, and the other half was just done casually.

What was this?

It seemed like he had manipulated a child’s feelings with just a few insignificant gestures of kindness.

Yu Zhi felt heartache and guilt.

Knowing that someone liked him, Yu Zhi didn’t feel proud or entitled; he regretted it.

Not regretting doing too much for Yin Xu, but regretting being kind to him.

He regretted not solidifying their relationship as father and son before doing all this.

If he had adopted him from the beginning, the child wouldn’t have misunderstood, nor would he have stumbled down this incorrect path in a daze. Their relationship would have naturally developed into one of familial affection.

But now, it’s too late to say anything.

What should he do?

What else can he do?

With the curtains wide open, the city lights illuminated the night, the night breeze brushing against him, growing clearer with each gust.

The cigarette in his hand flickered, lit, and extinguished.

Yu Zhi spent the whole night sleepless.

The next day came.

“Did you not sleep well last night, sir?” Yin Xu looked at Yu Zhi’s slightly tired face with concern.

Yu Zhi was about to smile at him, but his expression stiffened slightly. Then, he subtly concealed it, saying, “No, just slept a little late.”

It was a lie; he hadn’t slept at all last night.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Yin Xu’s obedient face.

Troublesome.

Yin Xu pondered for a moment. “I’ve learned a bit of massage. If you don’t mind, I can give you a massage, sir.”

Yu Zhi glanced at his bright eyes, restrained his smile, and looked away. “That’s not necessary. It’s the weekend anyway, so I can catch up on sleep at home.”

Yin Xu was taken aback as if he hadn’t recovered from this refusal. After a while, he hesitantly responded, “Ah… okay.”

As a result, for the rest of the breakfast preparation, Yin Xu seemed gloomy and didn’t speak much.

The more Yu Zhi observed the heavier his heart felt. Had his influence on Yin Xu become so significant without him noticing?

A simple refusal could affect his mood.

“Speaking of which, you’ve been at the new school for half a semester now. How are you getting along with your new classmates? Do you have any good friends you can hang out with on weekends? While studying is important, it’s also essential to strike a balance between work and relaxation. With your progress, getting into a good university for the college entrance examination shouldn’t be a problem. You can afford to relax a bit,” Yu Zhi asked, hoping that if he had friends who occupied some of his attention, it might shift his focus away from himself, and perhaps halt this improper emotional shift in time.

“Classmates are all fine, but everyone’s busy with revisions, so there’s no time for leisure,” Yin Xu declined.

Well, that avenue was closed off too.

Yu Zhi withdrew his gaze expressionlessly, showing no hint of how much concern and regret he harbored inside.

“You’re still young, you should make more friends, don’t spend all your time at home,” he advised earnestly. He meant every word of it.

However, Yin Xu lifted his head, gazing at him for a while before hesitantly saying, “Sir… do you feel like I’ve been at home for too long, and you’re getting tired of me?”

Perfect. Not only did he reject the suggestion, but he also turned the tables. Yu Zhi felt that if he said anything more, this child might think he didn’t want to see him and wanted to drive him away.

So he wisely kept quiet, refraining from further provocation.

But this matter weighed heavily on his mind and needed to be addressed. At the very least, he had to come up with a way to put a stop to this changing relationship.

What exactly to do required careful planning. Yin Xu’s mood, as Yu Zhi guessed, was not great.

Detecting changes in someone’s attitude is quite simple, especially when that person is someone very important to you.

Yin Xu’s mind was always sharp. While he might be confused about himself, he was clear about others.

He noticed Yu Zhi’s change in demeanor that morning but couldn’t figure it out.

If the man truly grew tired of him, he could just say a word and he would leave the house. There was no need to beat around the bush.

So why did he act that way?

Was he concerned that Yin Xu had no friends?

Yu Zhi wasn’t indecisive, but when it came to Yin Xu, he couldn’t bring himself to be direct and blunt. The massive impact that would cause would be too much for the other person to handle.

Two weeks later was Yin Xu’s birthday, which happened to fall on a Monday. Yu Zhi said he wanted to celebrate it in advance.

Yin Xu smiled but said, “Actually, it’s not my real birthday. It’s the day I was sent to the orphanage. It doesn’t matter.”

He used to enjoy his birthday because back at the orphanage, there would be extra snacks that day. In reality, he didn’t feel much about it at all.

Yu Zhi shook his head and chuckled. “Often, celebrating a birthday isn’t just about commemorating your birth. It’s about ritual. It signifies that there’s a person named Yin Xu in this world who’s grown a year older. It’s about the world acknowledging your presence.”

Yin Xu looked at him, momentarily stunned.

“And what about you?” he asked.

Yu Zhi hesitated for a moment, his smile fading.

“When is your birthday?” Yin Xu didn’t want the world to remember this person; he wanted to remember him personally.

Yu Zhi came back with a smile. “You’ll find out when the time comes.”

Yin Xu lowered his head, unfazed by the man’s reluctance to tell him. He could always ask Xiao Pang.

“Where do you want to go today?” Yu Zhi asked him.

Knowing the man would take him out to celebrate, Yin Xu’s eyes sparkled with interest.

Thinking back to the last time the man took Xiao Pang out, and how he had refused to go, Yin Xu felt a hint of regret.

“Anywhere is fine?”

Yu Zhi nodded. “Anywhere is fine.”

“I want to go to the moon then,” Yin Xu said.

Yu Zhi replied, “… How about somewhere on Earth?”

Yin Xu was getting cheekier, still joking around.

“I was just kidding,” Yin Xu laughed.

Yu Zhi felt exhausted. “I figured.”

Finally, Yin Xu settled on going to an amusement park.

“If there’s a place I’ve always wanted to go but never had the chance, it’s probably there,” Yin Xu explained. He had heard that children often went there to play, but they usually went with their parents. He didn’t have parents or guardians, nor did he have the money to go.

Yu Zhi fulfilled his wish.

He took Yin Xu to the amusement park. Despite having to wait in line for some rides, Yin Xu didn’t mind at all; he was eager and excited.

Yin Xu was doing fine, but Yu Zhi, being such an adult among a group of children, seemed out of place. Occasionally, some girls would look at him, but he pretended not to notice, just as he had told Yin Xu not to care about other people’s gazes.

Ironically, it was Yin Xu who didn’t quite like it when others looked at Yu Zhu, even though they also looked at him.

The two of them experienced many rides together, even repeating some of the ones they liked, which satisfied Yin Xu immensely. Yin Xu didn’t notice, but he wore a smile on his face all day.

Yu Zhi saw it but didn’t say anything.

Lunch was at a nearby restaurant. While Yin Xu ate, he thought about what they would do in the afternoon. Suddenly, Yu Zhi said, “I’ll take you somewhere tonight.”

Yin Xu looked up, curiosity overflowing in his eyes. “Where?”

Yu Zhi just smiled, remaining silent. It was only after being pressed that he said, “You’ll like it.”

Even though it wasn’t yet evening, Yin Xu was already looking forward to it, his enthusiasm for the afternoon activities diminishing as a result.

Before six o’clock, Yin Xu started pestering Yu Zhi, asking how much longer they had to stay at the amusement park and when they would leave.

Yu Zhi didn’t play coy. Once he confirmed that Yin Xu was indeed not reluctant to leave the amusement park, he drove him to their destination.

It was a villa in the suburbs. From afar, the villa was brightly lit, indicating that someone had prepared in advance.

As they neared the villa, Yin Xu, realizing belatedly, hesitated.

After Yu Zhi reminded him twice to get out of the car, Yin Xu reluctantly undid his seatbelt.

But why did the man bring him here?

Doubts and uneasiness crept into his mind.

However, when he asked himself internally, he found that no matter what, he wouldn’t reject it.

Contrary to his expectations, after Yu Zhi led him inside, he took him straight to the rooftop.

The expansive view was refreshing, and the cool night breeze prompted Yu Zhi to drape a coat over him.

Then, he walked over to something set up on the rooftop. Even though Yin Xu hadn’t seen it before, he could probably guess what it was.

Yu Zhi adjusted the telescope and looked at the starry sky inside as if it were within arm’s reach. He smiled and waved Yin Xu over. “Come here.”

He led Yin Xu to the telescope and stepped aside, gently saying, “Take a look.”

Yu Zhi explained and demonstrated how to use it. Yin Xu eagerly tried it out and couldn’t help but marvel at the beautiful starry sky.

With a slight smile, Yu Zhi said, “You wanted to go to the moon, didn’t you? Although we can’t go there, for now, looking at it like this is just as good.”

Yin Xu couldn’t believe it. Just because of his casual joke, this person spent time and effort to bring him here to stargaze.

But no matter how unwilling he was when faced with the reality before him, he couldn’t help but believe it.

Emotions surged within him, various thoughts are lingering in his mind as if a small trigger could unleash a flood.

However, Yu Zhi didn’t look at him. Instead, he looked up at the starry sky. His voice was especially clear, gentle, and soft in this vast and quiet night.

“Time and space are the most mysterious and difficult things to explore in this world. When you think you’ve reached a high enough vantage point and seen far enough, you realize it’s just a drop in the ocean, like a mere insect.”

He wanted to tell this child not to be misled by the things in front of him because more people and things are waiting for him in the future. Compared to the vastness of the universe, what is one person’s life worth?

His life is too short, so short that he hasn’t seen much of even the smallest people in the world. He still has boundless potential, so he shouldn’t let a momentary confusion trip him up.

He shouldn’t be confused, he shouldn’t be content.

Yin Xu’s emotions surged as he looked at the stars in the sky, feeling as if there were many worlds beyond this world.

He watched all of this curiously, while also listening attentively to the man’s words.

Yu Zhi looked at the smile on his face, then lowered his eyes and closed them momentarily. His voice remained clear and as gentle as ever.

“Speaking of which, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”

“When I helped you back then, it was just a fortunate timing. But the more we’ve been together, the more I’ve come to see you as a good kid.”

“You know, Xiao Pang at home often gives us headaches. I’ve always hoped to have a well-behaved, obedient, and adorable son like you.”

“Would you like to be adopted by me and become my child?”

The coat slipped to the ground as a swift night wind swept in, chilling Yin Xu to the bone.

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