IPDAOLR 38

With that, Jiang Zhihuo ignored whatever expression Yan Mu wore, slipped into slippers, and locked himself in the bathroom.

He braced his hands on the sink and stared at himself in the mirror.

The corners of his eyes, his cheeks, his earlobes, and his neck were all flushed crimson, as if he had just been thoroughly bullied.

After every kiss, Jiang Zhihuo knew he looked exactly like this.

Whether he had truly grown accustomed to it, Jiang Zhihuo wasn’t sure. Over the past two months, the same action, repeated countless times every day, had become an almost unavoidable conditioned reflex. The moment that wave of heat surged up, his first instinct was to throw himself at Yan Mu, to touch him, to kiss him, to smell his pheromones.

……

……

Jiang Zhihuo, snap out of it!

Ahhhh!

Jiang Zhihuo splashed a handful of ice-cold water on his face, then slapped his cheeks hard several times. Only when the unnatural flush had completely faded did he take a deep breath and open the door to walk out.

Yan Mu didn’t react much to what had just happened; he remained perfectly composed. When Jiang Zhihuo came out, he had already changed out of his school uniform, with the bag of suppressants placed by the bed.

It was dinner time.

Jiang Zhihuo forced himself to forget the awkward scene just now and pretended to be at ease as he asked, “Ordered takeout yet?”

Yan Mu: “Not yet.”

Jiang Zhihuo: “Together?”

Yan Mu: “Mhm.”

As usual when ordering takeout, Jiang Zhihuo sat down beside Yan Mu and asked, “Noodles? Rice?”

Yan Mu replied, “Rice.”

Jiang Zhihuo picked a few places that seemed pretty good. “Barbecued rice? Chicken soup rice? Chicken soup rice, then. I want some soup.”

Yan Mu: “Fine.”

After placing the order, Jiang Zhihuo put the suppressants into his bag and said proactively, “You study; I’ll go outside.”

Yan Mu stopped him. “Not planning to study.”

“Oh.” Jiang Zhihuo looked at Yan Mu in confusion. “So what then?”

Yan Mu: “…You don’t have to go outside.”

Since Yan Mu said so, Jiang Zhihuo didn’t hesitate.

The bed was certainly more comfortable than the sofa.

He put on his earphones, opened a shooting game, and started a casual match. Before long, the takeout arrived, and they ate a silent dinner together. After cleaning up the table and washing their hands, Jiang Zhihuo took out a special-effect suppressant, held it in his hand, and kept reminding himself: Test the drug, test the drug; don’t leap at the person.

An hour and a half passed quickly, and soon it was time.

When the feverish sensation swelled up inside him again, Jiang Zhihuo bit open the cap of the special-effect suppressant and injected it into his gland.

As the drug went in, a dull ache spread through the back of his neck. But after a brief wait, the wild, churning pain gradually subsided. Aside from a thin layer of sweat on his back, there was no trace of anything unusual.

Jiang Zhihuo stared at the empty injection tube in disbelief.

It… actually worked…

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

It should have been a moment of joy, a time to cheer and pump fists, but Jiang Zhihuo felt nothing but an inexplicable sense of loss, a deep and overwhelming loss.

After a long silence, it was Yan Mu who first clapped lightly, his palms meeting twice in a perfunctory manner. Then he interlaced his fingers, thumbs stacked. “It works. Congratulations.”

Jiang Zhihuo tore his gaze away from the injection tube and stared blankly at him, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Ah, thanks. And congratulations to you too. You’re finally free. I promised you, remember? As soon as there’s any improvement, I’ll leave. I’ll give you back to your white moonlight.”

At that, Yan Mu’s brow furrowed slightly as he studied Jiang Zhihuo’s expression.

His pupils were dark and deep, revealing nothing of what he was thinking. After a moment, he finally hummed and asked, “When?”

“Tomorrow?” said Jiang Zhihuo. “I have a shift tonight, so I’ll probably be back quite late.”

Yan Mu: “……”

He said nothing more.

The living room fell into an awkward silence once again.

At 6:55, Yan Mu left for school for evening self-study. Jiang Zhihuo grabbed his clothes and headed to the bar.

The bar’s busiest hours were from 9:00 PM to 2:00 AM. At this hour, the nightlife hadn’t started yet, so the place was nearly empty, the vast space feeling hollow.

Jiang Zhihuo arrived early at his post and changed into his work clothes, a shirt, trousers, and vest. He meticulously arranged the bar counter, wiping the upside-down glasses on the table until they sparkled.

His movements were focused, but his eyes were distant, as if his mind was elsewhere.

Qu Xiao reached out and snapped his fingers in front of Jiang Zhihuo’s face, saying with a wistful tone, “Make me a Moscow Sunrise.”

Snapping back to reality, Jiang Zhihuo used vodka and rum as a base, mixed in orange juice and lemon juice, shook it well, and poured it into a glass. After letting it settle for a moment so the liquids with different solubility levels could separate into layers, he topped it with a thin layer of cream, then garnished it with a red cherry and mint leaves.

Faced with a cocktail that was both visually appealing and delicious, Qu Xiao didn’t even glance at it. He downed it in one gulp, slammed the glass heavily onto the table, and let out a long sigh. “Ah!”

Maintaining his persona, Jiang Zhihuo looked down indifferently and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Raising his glass, Qu Xiao looked up at the cream residue at the bottom and sighed, “I got dumped.”

“I got dumped after just three days, three days!!” Qu Xiao held up three fingers.

He couldn’t even figure out why the girl had broken up with him. He covered his face in distress and said, “I don’t even know what I did wrong! The night before, she asked me to go out with her, but I was in the middle of a game and didn’t see her message. By the time I noticed, she’d already blocked and deleted me all at once.”

“So where did I mess up?”

Jiang Zhihuo: “…”

After he finished speaking, Qu Xiao handed the glass to him. Jiang Zhihuo took it and carefully washed it.

Qu Xiao hadn’t expected the aloof Shin to offer any pearls of wisdom anyway. After wallowing in his own sorrow for a while, he noticed something was off about Shin too. The guy had been washing the same glass for ten minutes straight.

“What’s up with you?” Qu Xiao asked.

Jiang Zhihuo kept his head down, tidying the bar, and only replied after a moment. “I’m moving out.”

Qu Xiao wasn’t new to heartbreak and bounced back quickly. “Moving out is good news. Congrats.”

Jiang Zhihuo was taken aback by the remark. “Yeah, it should be a happy thing, but I just don’t feel that happy about it now.”

Qu Xiao grabbed a glass, poured himself some warm water, and clinked it against the empty glass.

The sound of the glasses clinking was crisp and clear.

Just as Qu Xiao was about to say something, Jiang Zhihuo took off his gloves and suddenly said, “Boss, I’m taking the night off.”

Shin had always been a free spirit. Without waiting for the boss’s approval, he turned and left. By the time Qu Xiao snapped out of it, all that was left was his upright, retreating figure.

Qu Xiao: “…”

After downing two glasses of warm water, facing the empty bar, he felt the world had nothing interesting to offer and started bombarding Yan Mu with messages.

Qu Xiao: Young Master Yan, Young Master Yan, Young Master Yan.

Qu Xiao: I got dumped.

Qu Xiao: I finished my game, and the girl deleted me. What did I do wrong?

Yan Mu didn’t reply.

At this hour, the No. 1 High School was in evening self-study, so it was normal that Young Master Yan didn’t respond. Qu Xiao didn’t mind and continued his monologue.

Qu Xiao: I’m not the only one in a bad mood today.

Qu Xiao: Shin doesn’t seem to be doing well either.

Yan Mu: What happened to him?

Qu Xiao: ?

Qu Xiao: Seriously? I say I got dumped, and you don’t reply. But the moment I mention Shin, you respond instantly?

Yan Mu: What happened to him?

Qu Xiao: You don’t know?

Qu Xiao: By the way, are you two really done?

Qu Xiao: Was that confession thing for real, or were you just drunk?

Qu Xiao: Young Master Yan, just tell me, I’m really curious.

Qu Xiao: Seeing Shin like that, I didn’t feel right asking him directly.

Yan Mu still gave the same four words.

Yan Mu: What happened to him?

Qu Xiao: …

Qu Xiao: I don’t know the details. He said he’s moving out and wasn’t happy about it, then he left early just now.

In Class 4 of Senior 3, everyone was buried in their homework, so quiet it was like a still pool, broken only by the faint scratch of pens on paper.

But from the back of the classroom came the harsh screech of a chair scraping across the floor.

Everyone turned to look back and saw Yan Mu suddenly stand up from his seat, rush out without looking back, and leave the classroom.

“Xie Qiu, Xie Qiu,” someone nearby whispered. “What’s up with Yan-ge tonight?”

Xie Qiu was just as clueless. “No idea.”

Yan Mu had been acting weird all night, distracted, his gaze fixed on one direction as he stared blankly. Even when people asked him directly, he wouldn’t say a word.

After a moment of thought, Xie Qiu added, “Yan-ge‘s look is like he’s just gone through a breakup.”

.

.

Yan Mu walked into the office and casually claimed he wasn’t feeling well, asking for leave. The homeroom teacher of Class 4, having no doubts about the words of the genius student, quickly approved the leave slip and reminded him to take care of his health.

After leaving the school gate, Yan Mu called Jiang Zhihuo and hurried toward his place.

Yan Mu: “Where are you?”

The other end of the line was very quiet.

Jiang Zhihuo said, “At the bar, why?”

Yan Mu called him out: “It’s too quiet.”

Jiang Zhihuo replied, “I’m in the changing room, so of course it’s quiet.”

As he typed the last character, the elevator doors slid open. Just a moment ago, Jiang Zhihuo had said he was in the bar’s changing room; now he was tilting his head, phone clamped between his ear and shoulder, pulling a suitcase out of the entrance.

The call was still connected. Being so close, a faint static crackled through the earpiece.

“……”

“……”

“…………”

“…………”

Jiang Zhihuo gave an awkward laugh. “What a coincidence.”

Face to face, their voices echoed through the phones one more time.

Yan Mu hung up.

He walked over to Jiang Zhihuo, took his suitcase, and said, “I’ll see you off.”

Jiang Zhihuo didn’t have many things. When he moved here, he only brought one suitcase. He usually kept everything packed, so he could leave right away whenever he needed to.

Jiang Yanmu’s move was too assertive. Jiang Zhihuo had no room to refuse and could only reply dryly, “Alright.”

Probably because he’d been caught trying to sneak away, the whole ride felt awkward. He’d thought Yan Mu’s “seeing him off” meant just to the bus stop, but he ended up following Jiang Zhihuo onto the bus.

They sat in the very last row. As the bus pulled into traffic, the awkwardness between them still lingered.

Jiang Zhihuo sat by the window, pretending to enjoy the view so he wouldn’t have to look at Yan Mu or speak to him.

The nightscape blurred past the window. Neon lights couldn’t outrun the wind, all left behind.

Jiang Zhihuo lived in an old neighborhood, a forty-minute bus ride away. The bus stop was at the entrance of an alley, flanked by dilapidated houses. At the end of the street stood a century-old banyan tree with gnarled roots, its branches intertwining. A hint of osmanthus fragrance mingled with the cool evening breeze, drifting through the ancient streets.

Jiang Zhihuo stopped in front of a residential building, took his suitcase, and said, “I’m here. Thanks.”

“For the past few days… and tonight. Thanks for everything.”

Yan Mu said nothing, just gave a faint, “Mhm.”

Jiang Zhihuo waved.

Yan Mu nodded and turned around.

Under the dim light, their shadows grew longer, one moving forward and one going upstairs, as the distance between them grew wider.

.

.

Jiang Zhihuo lived in a small single room on the fifth floor. He hadn’t been back for over two months, so the room was coated in a layer of dust. After a quick clean and a fresh set of sheets, he lay down on the bed.

After Li Muhe started university, he didn’t want to live with Li Hao, so he rented this single room on his own. Jiang Zhihuo had always been adaptable; he’d renovated the place and enjoyed living alone freely. The rent was cheap, and his part-time earnings were enough to cover expenses and even save a little. But now that he was back, he found everything awful, small and shabby, with a rock-hard bed.

It had only been… what, less than two hours? And he was already missing Yan Mu’s big bed and memory foam mattress.

Jiang Zhihuo suppressed the melancholy in his heart. He closed his eyes for a long time, and finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

When he woke up the next day, there was nothing beside him, just him alone. Jiang Zhihuo froze for a moment, thinking that the God of Learning really didn’t need sleep. Daylight hadn’t fully broken, and he was already up.

He froze again, then realized he was home. He no longer lived with Yan Mu.

The moment that realization hit, the last traces of drowsiness vanished.

It was only 5:30 in the morning.

Jiang Zhihuo lay there, arms behind his head, and his mind uncontrollably began to wander.

Why was he so upset?

Jiang Zhihuo thought it over for a long time, then decided to attribute his sadness to habit.

A lot of people say old habits are hard to break.

Many also say it takes twenty-one days to form a new habit.

He’d lived and shared meals and a home with Yan Mu for over two months. He’d long gotten used to it.

Used to having this person around. Used to arguing at the drop of a hat. Used to hurting each other.

Honestly, he and Yan Mu had been way too close.

Even though their contact was forced by the mark, in the end, they’d kissed, hugged, and shared a bed.

They’d been rivals, fought, and couldn’t stand each other.

After all their twists and turns, they ended up back where they started, each returning to their own original life tracks.

Jiang Zhihuo silently sighed to himself, gently pinching his left shoulder with his right hand.

On his shoulder was a tattoo, a design he’d drawn himself two years ago.

The tattoo artist was quite conscientious. Seeing how young he was, she advised him to think it over carefully. “Tattoos are hard to remove. Are you sure you want it?”

Jiang Zhihuo said, “I’m sure.”

The pattern was simple, just half a seashell. The artist mixed a beautiful color and tattooed it on his shoulder. It was small and not very conspicuous.

It was a past he didn’t want to let go of, a person he didn’t want to forget.

He thought back to a day long ago.

Yun’s parents, crying, entrusted him to a middle-aged man he had only met once.

In exchange came another boy his age.

It wasn’t until that day that he found out.

His family, his name, his childhood sweetheart.

None of it was his.

The same thing, after going in a big circle for eight years, without even a chance to say goodbye, he was forcefully shoved back into a life that was his, yet completely unfamiliar.

Jiang Zhihuo forced himself to close his eyes a little longer, only getting up to wash up when the time came.

He wasn’t late today. The bus was extremely crowded. At one stop, a bunch of elementary school students in little yellow hats squeezed on, chatting happily with their friends they met on the bus.

There were also office workers on the bus, in suits and leather shoes with briefcases, clutching soy milk and steamed buns, drowsy and leaning against the windows.

Jiang Zhihuo pulled open the window. The morning wind hit his face and blew down his collar into his clothes, a little cold. Jiang Zhihuo didn’t bother with it, trying to get himself into a better mood.

The world was always strange.

Back when they were still rivals, Jiang Zhihuo felt he could run into Yan Mu everywhere, a tall, handsome, aloof boy who was a focal point wherever he went, easy to spot at a glance. Even in the cafeteria, they’d accidentally end up at the same table.

Now, after going in a circle, with no reason to argue anymore, they instead couldn’t seem to meet. They were clearly on the same floor, clearly in the same PE class, yet Yan Mu was nowhere to be seen.

Jiang Zhihuo sat on the basketball rack, tilted his head back, and gulped down the cold, sweet drink, feeling completely refreshed.

Chang Luo lightly tossed the basketball. It bounced on the floor and landed in Jiang Zhihuo’s hands.

Chang Luo sat down beside him. “Huo-ge, you’re in a bad mood today?”

Jiang Zhihuo thought he hadn’t shown it. Slightly surprised, he said, “Is it that obvious?”

Chang Luo pointed in a direction. “I couldn’t tell. It’s some junior girls over there who asked me to ask you.”

Jiang Zhihuo followed Chang Luo’s gaze. Several girls from the first year of high school were standing near the basketball court. When they saw him look over, the girls around her pushed one of them forward. The young girl put her hands helplessly behind her back and shyly lowered her head.

Jiang Zhihuo lifted the corner of his mouth and smiled.

Then he said to Chang Luo, “Don’t do things like this anymore.”

Chang Luo took a sip of his drink. “Huo-ge, seems like you’re really not in a good mood.”

Jiang Zhihuo’s voice deepened, and then he suddenly asked, “Let me ask you something.”

Chang Luo: “Go ahead.”

Jiang Zhihuo: “You’ve kissed, held hands, slept in the same bed… can you still be friends?”

Chang Luo nearly spat out his drink. “????”

“What did you say?” Chang Luo’s eyes widened. “Huo-ge, you and who… kissed, held hands, and sl-slept together?”

Jiang Zhihuo explained, “Not ‘slept together’! Just slept in the same bed!”

The news was too sudden. Chang Luo couldn’t maintain his usual slow drawl. “Same difference! You did that with who?!”

“Not me, it’s… a friend of mine.” Jiang Zhihuo lowered his eyes. “Forget it.”

He didn’t continue the conversation. He put his drink down and went back to the court. When he exercised, he didn’t have time to think about anything else. He put all his strength into every shot. He enjoyed the feeling of sweating, and the cool wind felt refreshing as he ran. Since he had nothing else to worry about, he decided to just enjoy himself and play as much as he wanted.

The opposing team was crushed into a state of despair. They couldn’t even defend, let alone score against Jiang Zhihuo. Only when the PE teacher blew his whistle did this one-sided slaughter finally end.

After the drill was dismissed, the guys he played basketball with slung an arm around Jiang Zhihuo’s shoulder. “Huo-ge, you were way too intense today.”

One of them said cheekily, “Is it because there were girls watching from the sidelines?”

“Those pretty junior girls just now were here to see Huo-ge, right?”

“Who says they weren’t here to see me?”

“Come on, you suck at ball and you’re not even good-looking. What would they come to see? Those seductive big eyes of yours?”

The boys were still full of energy after PE class. After exercising, the little bit of conflict in Jiang Zhihuo’s heart had been pushed aside.

The author has something to say: 

I’m posting two chapters together because I’m afraid of getting beaten up.

If he’s drunk, he’s definitely going to cause some trouble~