AFMWDX Chapter 29

TL: Hua

Yu Qingtang felt as though his entire body were wrapped in fine wires connected to a power source; with every breath he took, a current surged through him.

The scent of alcohol on Xu Baizhang’s breath was strong, but beneath it, he could smell the mingling scent of herbal medicine.

If alcohol represented madness, the herbs represented restraint.

Xu Baizhang knelt on the sofa with one knee, lowering his head as his palm tightened its grip.

Yu Qingtang’s chin was lifted, and starting from there, the touch traveled in a line down to his throat.

“…Ah… mm!”

His Adam’s apple trembled and his vocal cords vibrated, but the resulting gasp was entirely swallowed into the other man’s mouth.

His body was so numb it felt stiff. All Yu Qingtang could feel was the itching in his throat, the sliding of a tongue, and the shape of teeth that wanted to bite down but held back.

Like the glass shoes and pumpkin carriage that had to be surrendered at midnight, the madness came to an abrupt halt. His wrists were released, and only a lingering coolness remained on his Adam’s apple.

Half a minute later, he was the only one left in the dark space. A familiar scene unfolded: someone logged off and left, like a deserter retreating in the face of battle.

Yu Qingtang took a deep breath, finally managing to steady his emotions. Touching the dampness on his skin, he recalled Xu Baizhang’s words before leaving.

“But I’ve been drinking.”

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Was alcohol some sort of taboo? Would it cause him to transform or reveal some true form?

Leaving me hanging halfway through without taking responsibility…

Dr. Xu, you are too much.

Having been unable to sleep all night, Yu Qingtang felt a spark of spite. He didn’t get out of bed this morning, skipping their daily morning exercise appointment.

Xu Baizhang usually left at seven. Yu Qingtang specifically waited until 7:10 before lazily rolling out of bed.

After washing up, Yu Qingtang came out to pour some water.

“You’re awake?” Xu Baizhang’s voice emerged from the kitchen.

The water in Yu Qingtang’s mouth almost sprayed out. He swallowed before saying, “You… why haven’t you left yet?”

Xu Baizhang: “Waiting for you.”

Yu Qingtang: “Is something wrong?”

Xu Baizhang walked up to him. “I made egg pancakes in the pan and porridge in the microwave. The fruit is still a bit cold; let it sit for a bit before eating.”

“Mm, okay.” Yu Qingtang finished his water and held the glass, his gaze landing on Xu Baizhang’s Adam’s apple.

The man stood before him with no intention of leaving.

Yu Qingtang asked, “Is there something else?”

Xu Baizhang: “The alcohol has finished metabolizing.”

Yu Qingtang: “Huh? Wh— mph.”

The lens pressed down as a soft kiss landed on his damp lips. In Xu Baizhang’s eyes lay a deep, vast sea. “Good morning.”

Yu Qingtang had just woken up and was a bit dazed, trying to process what had happened three seconds ago.

The culprit didn’t give him a chance to react, pressing down for another kiss. “Since you didn’t join me, I didn’t exercise this morning.”

Immediately after, another peck followed. “You didn’t even join me for breakfast.”

Xu Baizhang looked at him through his glasses; his lips were a blur when they touched and clear when they pulled away.

The way he spoke today reminded Yu Qingtang of those “wronged” and “pitiful” soybean emojis.

He didn’t look the part, but the feeling was identical.

His family’s Dr. Xu was acting like a “big dog” again, acting all aggrieved and in need of coaxing.

Yu Qingtang’s heart was in a shambles; he was completely defenseless against this. “I’ll definitely get up early to join you tomorrow.”

Before he could give any more feedback, another kiss pressed down. “Okay. I’m going to work.”

The door closed, leaving behind only the sound of a thumping heart.

Yu Qingtang curled up, burying his head in the corner of the sofa. His whole body felt like it was running a fever, and he could still feel the traces of where Xu Baizhang had pressed against his lips.

Yu Qingtang warmed the glass with his hands, mocking himself for being nearly thirty and still being fooled by such tricks.

Leaning in the corner, he secretly counted: once, twice, three times…

“Three’s the limit,” yet he had kissed him four times.

*

After three snowfalls, the New Year arrived.

Usually, Yu Qingtang celebrated the New Year alone with his parents, occasionally having dinner with cousins and relatives. This year, with a new family member, both sides had to be considered.

According to Xu Baizhang’s arrangement, they would spend it with his parents this year, and next year they would return to Yulong Village to celebrate with relatives in the hometown.

On New Year’s Eve, the two went to their parents’ place early in the morning.

The family of three had been promoted to a family of four. It might only be one extra person, but the configuration had changed from “landlords” to a “luxury mahjong” set.

When it came to mahjong, their parents were terrible but addicted, having zero self-awareness regarding their skill level. Coincidentally, they happened to meet Xu Baizhang, who loved deliberately losing and “feeding” them the right tiles. The two elders were hooked, playing round after round.

While the elders were shuffling the tiles, Yu Qingtang called Xu Baizhang into the kitchen. “That’s enough. If you keep playing like this, I’m afraid their backs won’t be able to take it.”

“Don’t worry, I remind Mom and Dad to get up and move every two rounds. I’ll give them a massage later; it’ll be fine.”

Yu Qingtang: “You’ve spoiled them.”

Xu Baizhang held a slice of apple to his lips. “I’ll spoil you in the next round.”

Yu Qingtang: “That’s not what I meant.”

Xu Baizhang: “Regardless of what you meant, I’ll spoil you.”

“Why aren’t you two done yet?” The elders called out from outside. “The luck is on my side! I’m definitely winning this next hand.”

Yu Qingtang bit down on the apple. “Coming!”

The two of them prepared dinner together. After eating and doing the dishes, they sat with the elders to watch the Spring Festival Gala. Since their parents usually went to bed early, they said their goodbyes and left halfway through the program.

Yu Qingtang looked out the window as the car headed toward home.

In recent years, the city had implemented a total ban on fireworks and firecrackers. By 9:30 PM on New Year’s Eve, the streets were unnervingly quiet.

Yu Qingtang murmured to himself, “It’s finally the New Year, yet going home this early makes it feel like something is missing.”

It was fine for his parents to follow their healthy “early to bed” routine, but on New Year’s Eve, Yu Qingtang wanted to indulge a little.

Xu Baizhang slowed the car slightly. “Is there somewhere you want to go?”

The question stumped Yu Qingtang. On a night meant for family reunions, 90% of shops were already closed; he truly couldn’t think of anywhere to go.

He thought of the relatives back in the village. “I wonder what Third Aunt, Fourth Uncle, and Little Radish are up to.”

Yu Qingtang had grown up in the city and had never experienced a New Year in the countryside, but surely it wouldn’t be as lonely as it was here.

The car performed a U-turn. Xu Baizhang stepped on the gas, heading away from home.

Yu Qingtang: “Where are we going?”

Xu Baizhang: “Home, to see Third Aunt, Fourth Uncle, and Little Radish.”

Yu Qingtang was genuinely startled. “Do you know what time it is?”

From here to Yulong Village, it was nearly a three-hour drive, plus another half-hour walk through the narrow paths.

Xu Baizhang checked his watch. There was no traffic on New Year’s Eve, so they could shave an hour off the usual time. He accelerated. “As long as you want to go, it’s not far.”

Driving dozens of kilometers to the countryside at 9:30 PM on New Year’s Eve sounded crazy at first, but with the right company, it became a journey of homesickness and companionship.

Yu Qingtang did want to go back. Besides experiencing the New Year there, he wanted to deliver Xu Hao’s letter to the grandmother as soon as possible.

Lately, Yu Qingtang had been applying for visitation every two weeks. His interview materials were mostly ready, but progress on other matters remained at zero. He didn’t want to apply pressure, so he stopped pushing.

Every visit, Xu Hao would bring two letters: one for him and one for his grandmother. Since the elderly woman was illiterate, Yu Qingtang would read the letters to her.

He had been to Yulong Village many times, but this was his first time arriving at night. The path was no longer muddy in winter, so Xu Baizhang didn’t need to carry him across, but there were no streetlights, and he didn’t know how easy it would be to walk.

He worried the whole way, only to find his fears were unnecessary upon arrival.

At the entrance of the narrow path, two rows of lanterns hung along the road like a string of fireflies—or more like two long, red dragons.

In the darkness, specks of red light meandered forward. Standing at one end, it felt like the path home was being stitched together by the candlelight for those returning.

Xu Baizhang said, “Many people visit relatives across villages during the New Year. The village chief was worried people wouldn’t find their way in the dark, so he hung these.”

Yu Qingtang was captivated. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’ll show you something even more beautiful. Get on.” At some point, Xu Baizhang had wheeled over a bicycle.

Yu Qingtang: “Where did that come from?”

Xu Baizhang: “I messaged Fourth Uncle ahead of time.”

With the bicycle, the narrow path no longer felt long. Yu Qingtang sat on the back rack, lightly gripping Xu Baizhang’s waist.

Xu Baizhang gripped the handlebars. “Sit tight; here we go.”

They moved quickly. Yu Qingtang looked at the string of red lanterns, which resembled the line connecting the sunset and the horizon.

It was freezing, and the wind howled against them. They had left in such a hurry that they were only wearing moderately thick wool coats.

Xu Baizhang touched the hand that was gripping his waist. “Cold?”

“It’s okay.” Xu Baizhang’s palm was burning hot; the frozen back of Yu Qingtang’s hand recovered instantly.

Xu Baizhang unbuttoned the middle two buttons of his coat and tucked Yu Qingtang’s hands into his chest. He steered with one hand while using the other to rub Yu Qingtang’s hands for warmth.

With his arms wrapped around the man, Yu Qingtang was essentially hugging Xu Baizhang from behind, his ear pressed against the man’s back.

Warmed by the friction, Yu Qingtang spoke slowly, “Dr. Xu, are you really warming my hands, or are you just taking advantage of me?”

The handlebars wobbled slightly. Xu Baizhang’s hand stopped rubbing, but he didn’t move it away. “Just warming your hands.”

“It’s okay if you take advantage.” Yu Qingtang tickled his palm. “I’m all yours to take.”

The handlebars swerved violently. Startled, Yu Qingtang hugged him tight. “Careful! What are you panicking for?”

Xu Baizhang steadied the bike. “Hold on. I’m speeding up.”

The wind rushed past his ears. The feeling of being carried by someone reminded Yu Qingtang of his student days after school.

If he had been with Xu Baizhang back then, would he have carried him to and from school like this, and would he have been hugged tightly during wind and snow?

As they approached the village entrance, the New Year atmosphere became palpable. When the bike stopped, Yu Qingtang was completely stunned.

In the dead of winter, the village entrance was a bustling, steaming scene of human life. It was decorated with lights and banners like a lively market.

Girls watched fireworks, boys set off firecrackers, and aunts and uncles wrapped dumplings by the stoves; some of them were already at the tables, having three peanuts with every sip of wine.

The elderly sat with cotton coats over their knees, knitting or making lanterns for the children, while the Spring Festival Gala played on a screen in the outdoor square.

The scene was so full of life that Yu Qingtang, standing in the shadows at the village edge, felt a surge of emotion.

Xu Baizhang said, “It’s been a village tradition for decades. No matter where people are busy or how many worries and tasks they have, they must spend this New Year together.”

Yu Qingtang’s eyes grew misty, feeling both annoyed and happy. “Tricked by you again. I’m so glad I came this year. If next time…”

“Shh.” Xu Baizhang put a finger to his lips and silently counted down: three, two, one.

Firecrackers roared and fireworks soared.

Children laughed, and the elderly smiled broadly. Dumplings hit the boiling water, accompanied by the sound of uncles clinking glasses.

Yu Qingtang felt a warmth by his ear. Xu Baizhang lowered his head and whispered, “Qingtang, Happy New Year. I’m grateful that fate brought me to you.”

“Happy New Year, Mr. Xu.”

“I want you by my side every day from now on.”

“Wow! It’s Second Uncle and Uncle Yu!”

“They’re here! They finally made it!”

The fireworks lit up the sky, merging the two figures in the shadows with their family.

Yu Qingtang hooked his arm through Xu Baizhang’s and ran forward. “I’m starving! I want dumplings.”

The New Year’s dinner was finished, the fireworks were over, and the lanterns were lit.

The adults dragged their own children home, and Xu Baizhang also took Yu Qingtang, who hadn’t had enough fun, home with him.

Yu Qingtang sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out Xu Hao’s letter. While he held the envelope, his mind was on the nightstand. When they left last time, a box of condoms had definitely been right here—had Third Aunt put them away while cleaning?

After showering, Xu Baizhang knocked on the open door. “Not sleeping yet?”

Yu Qingtang waved the envelope. “Getting ready to read the letter.”

They had come in a rush today and hadn’t brought a change of clothes, so Yu Qingtang was wearing a top from Xu Baizhang’s wardrobe.

It was a light gray crew neck; it was a bit big on him, with the sleeves rolled up, revealing his pale skin and collarbones.

Yu Qingtang patted the left side of the bed. “Want to read it together?”

“Didn’t Xiao Hao say I wasn’t allowed to look?” Despite saying that, Xu Baizhang had already walked in and sat down.

Yu Qingtang: “He gave permission. You can read this one with New Year wishes.”

The two leaned shoulder-to-shoulder on the bed. Yu Qingtang asked, “Read together?”

Xu Baizhang pushed the letter under Yu Qingtang’s eyes. “You read it out loud. I’ll listen.”

Yu Qingtang opened the envelope: “Second Uncle, Uncle Yu, Happy New Year. I never thought there would be a day where I couldn’t be in Yulong Village or spend the New Year with Grandma. Lately, I keep thinking, If I hadn’t done that thing, if I hadn’t gone down the wrong path, would things be better now…”

In the quiet, warm space of this unforgettable New Year’s Eve, Yu Qingtang read the sincere letter of a homesick boy.

Yu Qingtang closed the envelope, his eyes stinging. “I hope Xiao Hao can reform well and come out soon.”

Xu Baizhang gently took his hand, his fingers rubbing rhythmically over Yu Qingtang’s ring finger. “He will.”

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, the sound of gongs and drums disturbed Yu Qingtang’s dream. He opened his eyes to find himself in a posture so awkward it was hard to describe.

He was curled up sideways on the bed, wrapped in a quilt, with his head pillowed on Xu Baizhang’s thigh.

“Awake?”

Yu Qingtang sat up. While he had been lying down, Xu Baizhang was still leaning back in the same position he’d been in before they fell asleep.

Last night, after finishing Xu Hao’s letter, Yu Qingtang had taken out the other letters to read one by one. Somewhere along the way, he had lost consciousness.

“I didn’t use you as a pillow all night, did I?”

Xu Baizhang moved his shoulders and nodded. He clearly looked like he hadn’t slept well.

How could anyone rest properly while sleeping sitting up for an entire night? Heartbroken, Yu Qingtang asked, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

Xu Baizhang: “I forgot.”

Yu Qingtang: “…”

What a clumsy excuse.

Perhaps realizing his reasoning was weak, Xu Baizhang added, “You’re a good sleeper—you don’t move around. It was fine having you pillowing on my leg.”

Yu Qingtang rubbed his neck and teased him on purpose: “But you’re so hard here. My neck actually hurts from sleeping on it.”

“Next time, pick somewhere softer.”

Yu Qingtang kept teasing him: “Where is it soft?”

As he spoke, Yu Qingtang’s hand intentionally slid toward a certain spot below Xu Baizhang’s waist. “It couldn’t be here, could it?”

Yu Qingtang noticed the tips of his ears turning red. For the New Year, it felt quite festive.

Xu Baizhang didn’t know whether to laugh or feel helpless. “Qingtang, you…”

Yu Qingtang leaned in and pressed a finger against Xu Baizhang’s lips. “I don’t know if it’s soft or hard there, but I know here is very soft.”

He released his finger from the lips and replaced it with his own mouth, biting down just enough to leave two small tooth marks.

Then, he whispered into Xu Baizhang’s ear, his voice itchy and numbing: “Good morning, Mr. Xu.”