CM Chapter 33

Chapter 33 – Feeling Conflicted

Chapter 2, Part 4.1

Novel Title: ひとりじめ (Completely Mine)

Author：椎崎 夕 (Shiizaki You)

Illustrator：小山田 あみ (Oyamada Ami)

Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)

Protagonists: 細川 湊 (Hosokawa Minato -MC) & 荻原 浩志 (Ogiwara Koushi -ML)

*Please read at knoxt.space, the original site of translation. TQ*

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Rushing to the agreed meeting spot just in time, Minato saw his companion already waiting for him outside the station. Recognizing Minato, Koumoto raised one hand in greeting, watching him catch his breath with a soft smile.  

“There was no need to hurry so much. A little delay is perfectly fine.”  

“I couldn’t do that. You’ve taken time out of your busy schedule for this.”  

“Well, that’s mutual. …Shall we go?”  

Responding to Koumoto’s friendly smile, Minato nodded with a quick “Yes.” He followed Koumoto, who walked half a step ahead, into a bistro that Koumoto had recently discovered. Once seated at the window-side table they were guided to, they opened the menu and decided to choose their dishes à la carte instead of opting for a set course.  

It had been nearly a month since their last meal together. While Koumoto placed their order with the waiter, Minato glanced at the older man sitting across from him, feeling an unusual sense of freshness.  

In the ten years that had passed, Koumoto had developed a refined maturity alongside his calm demeanor. What was once a tranquil presence now carried the weight of experience befitting his age. Sitting at the same table as him, Minato couldn’t help but notice the subtle attention their table was drawing from the surrounding diners.  

“Something on your mind, Hosokawa?”  

“No, I just think it’s strange. Honestly, I didn’t expect to still be in touch with you like this.”  

After celebrating his graduation with Koumoto and Yoshiharu, the four of them had agreed to keep in touch despite the reduced chances of meeting. However, Minato had thought that his connection with Koumoto wouldn’t last more than a year at most.  

Koumoto chuckled at Minato’s words and loosened his tie slightly with practiced ease.  

“You’re right. Before I moved here, we were only email friends.”  

“I really looked forward to your emails. They brought a certain brightness to my day.”  

Koumoto had sent Minato weekly emails that, while not urgent enough to warrant a phone call, often revolved around his work and personal life. They were amusing, occasionally thought-provoking, and always worth replying to.  

Their first reunion after the graduation night had been two years ago. Koumoto, who had transferred to a nearby office, had invited Minato out for a meal, and since then, they had been meeting for dinner once or twice a month.  

“I looked forward to them too. I learned a lot from your replies. It’s amazing we kept it up for eight years. …I didn’t expect Yoshiharu and Nagashima to break up during that time, though.”  

“They still seem like a good match to me. Personally, I think it’s a shame for Yoshiharu to let him go.”  

The quirky but complementary couple had suddenly split six years ago. According to Koumoto, who had been present at the time, it had been an amicable and unceremonious ending, as if they had simply reached a natural stopping point. They remained friends afterward, though both had since gone through multiple relationships.  

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they got back together eventually.”  

“That’d be nice.”  

Both Yoshiharu and Nagashima were important friends to Minato. He had always hoped they would stay a couple.  

“By the way, Hosokawa, has anything unusual happened recently?”  

Just as most of their food arrived, Ogiwara’s question made Minato’s heart skip a beat.  

“Not particularly. Why do you ask?”  

“Nagashima called me out of the blue. He said your behavior’s been strange lately—like you’ve been avoiding calls and replying to messages late. It’s unusual for you, so he’s worried. He even gave me a direct order to help if something’s wrong.”  

Though Koumoto’s tone was lighthearted, his eyes were serious. If Minato truly needed help, Koumoto would provide it.  

“…There’s a student I’m having some difficulty handling. I’ve been researching solutions, brainstorming ideas, and consulting colleagues. When I’m in the library, my phone’s on silent, so I don’t notice calls.”  

“Ah, I see. A student—so, a high schooler?”  

“A first-year, just starting out. Math is their sworn enemy, and they’ve labeled me, their math teacher, as the devil.”  

“The devil, huh? That’s quite the label,” Koumoto said, laughing heartily. Still, he didn’t seem entirely convinced. After they finished their meal, Koumoto turned serious as they parted ways near the station.  

“Don’t overthink things alone. If you need help, you’ll let me know, right?”  

“Yes,” Minato replied, watching Koumoto disappear beyond the ticket gate. Although Koumoto’s transfer had brought him closer geographically, it still required nearly an hour and multiple train transfers for him to return home.  

Their meeting spot was always chosen to be halfway between their respective homes. By the time Minato finished his own train ride and reached his apartment, it would be just before midnight. Even so, these dinners with Koumoto were always worthwhile and a source of great joy for Minato.  

Leaning against the door of the train he had just boarded, Minato thought back to Koumoto’s words.  

The real reason behind his missed calls and delayed messages was Ogiwara Koushi. Ten days ago, Ogiwara had forced his way into Minato’s apartment under threat, and since then, he had been showing up frequently.  

No matter how many times Minato tried to turn him away, Ogiwara wouldn’t listen. If Minato excused himself to answer a phone call, Ogiwara would visibly sulk. If he checked his messages, Ogiwara would deliberately peek at his screen, making Minato wait until he left to reply. Consequently, Minato’s responses were delayed, and he often had to call back later.  

That said, it was out of the question to honestly tell Nagashima about the situation. He would probably come charging in, ready to explode with anger.  

―――…Well, it’s only temporary, after all.

The reflection of Minato in the window, which mirrored the night, showed the same familiar, plain, unremarkable face he always wore.  

Ogiwara had said it would be for a limited time. In other words, it wouldn’t last too long.  

Since Ogiwara was staying here for work, it was only natural that he couldn’t meet his live-in girlfriend. It wasn’t so bad, though, to play around with a different kind of ‘toy’ in the meantime. That’s basically what it was, Minato thought.  

Listening to the announcement for the nearest station, Minato stepped off the train onto the familiar platform. As he walked toward the ticket gate, he muttered bitterly to himself.  

“I heard all of this from Inono-kun, you know.”  

Even now, Ogiwara never spoke a word about himself. Minato didn’t know where he worked, when his work would end, or where his real home was.  

“That’s probably his way of showing his intentions.”  

Minato spoke aloud as he walked alone through the night streets. It was partly because if he kept it all bottled up, part of his feelings would turn into poison.  

He had given up on being treated conveniently. If being obedient to Ogiwara could somehow atone for his right knee, then so be it. It wasn’t like Ogiwara was doing anything to him that he didn’t like. And after all, it was Ogiwara. Minato had decided to just accept it.  

Instead, he had decided to maintain the attitude that his feelings for Ogiwara were strictly in the past. He found it ridiculous that he was still holding onto those feelings, even after ten years, in the same way he had back then. But the thought of Ogiwara knowing that fact was unbearable. That was the last of Minato’s pride.  

“Huh?”  

Standing in front of his apartment, Minato looked up at the window. His apartment was on the fourth floor, the corner unit, and its window was easy to spot. The light was on.  

“Ogiwara-kun…?”  

Ogiwara was the only one who had a spare key. A week ago, he had directly asked Minato, “Could you give it to me?” Naturally, Minato had hesitated, but Ogiwara had pouted and said: “If you don’t want to, I understand. I’ll just wait for you at the cram school or in front of your apartment.”

Realizing that Ogiwara might just go through with it, Minato reluctantly handed him the spare key.

―――I thought he wasn’t coming today.

But in that moment, Minato was hit by conflicting emotions.  

Pure joy, but also deep loneliness. On one hand, he was happy that he came, but on the other, he felt like he shouldn’t have wanted him to come. Minato wanted to see him, and yet, when they met, it always felt distant. Every time he touched those fingers, he was reminded that the feelings in his chest were meaningless. And yet, he couldn’t distance himself from him, and he clung to impossible expectations.  

“If Eisuke finds out, he’s going to scold me…”  

What came to mind was the words of his unrelenting friend. Ten years ago, Nagashima had repeatedly warned Minato.  

―――Ogiwara-kun is someone you should avoid. He’s not someone you can handle.  

A sigh escaped, as Minato realized how true those words were.  

***

The room, which Minato entered without ringing the intercom, was unusually quiet.  

The large leather sneakers by the door, which were too big for Minato, were Ogiwara’s. Tilting his head in curiosity, he looked toward the back, and his eyes widened in surprise.  

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*Translator’s Note: Take note that in the past, email was the primary method of communication for many Japanese people, especially during the era of feature phones (flip phones) before smartphones became widespread. This novel was published in 2014, so I suspect it was written earlier than that. Nowadays, LINE is mostly used for personal communication, but email is still used for business communication etc. -K

Next update: 2026.08.28

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