LNTSWJLY Chapter 13

Hinting.

This was Yu Zhi’s method that he had thought about for a long time.

Under the guise of adoption, he wanted to make the other person understand his position clearly, severing any inappropriate feelings. This was the most subtle and convenient way he could think of that wouldn’t hurt anyone.

By showing that he had always regarded him as a son if Yin Xu truly valued their relationship, he would stop to avoid affecting their relationship.

It was a manipulation of the boy’s feelings for him.

Though shameful, it was effective.

The night wind continued to blow unabatedly as Yu Zhi bent down to pick up the coat that had fallen to the ground, draping it back over the young man’s shoulders with a smile. “What’s wrong? Don’t want to?”

Whether he wanted to or not was not the main point. Since he had spoken those words, Yu Zhi’s goal had been achieved, and the outcome didn’t matter.

Yin Xu lowered his head in confusion, his voice hesitant and strained. “I-It’s… it’s just… it’s so sudden, it startled me!”

He tried to force a smile several times but failed each time. So, he feigned indifference, though the confusion and bewilderment in his eyes couldn’t be concealed.

His mind was blank, barely thinking at all. His lips moved, but words failed to form. A thousand thoughts swirled in his head, but all he managed to choke out was a hesitant, “W-why? I never… never thought…”

He should have been happy. Someone cared for him, valued him, even considered him a true family member, and invited him to join their family. He should have been happy… he should have…

But why, at this moment, did he feel nothing but panic and a bitter taste rising in his throat?

He couldn’t even bring himself to look up at Yu Zhi.

A flash of pity crossed Yu Zhi’s eyes as he reached up to pat Yin Xu’s head, feeling the stiffness and trembling beneath his touch. He softened his voice, “Why? I’ve already said, you’re a good person, and I like you. I want you to be my child.”

Yin Xu’s eyes welled up with tears, his throat tight. He sniffed, “I’m not worth it…”

He was just an abandoned child, even his parents didn’t like him. Why would anyone want him as a son?

This man was learned, wise, and gentle… why would he want someone as worthless as him to be his son?

He thought this, yet it seemed there was more to his thoughts than that.

Yu Zhi’s smile deepened. “Do you think I would ever reject my child?”

Back at home, Xiao Pang thought, “…” You sure didn’t say that to me!

Having achieved his purpose, Yu Zhi didn’t press Yin Xu for a decision. Seeing the boy’s bewildered expression, he couldn’t bring himself to push further. He patted Yin Xu’s back gently and spoke warmly, “I’m not asking for an immediate answer. I just want you to know that you’re valued, and I care about you a lot. Treat this house as your own, and me as your family.”

“I don’t expect anything in return for my kindness to you. You don’t need to be anxious or feel obligated. Just accept it openly.”

Tears welled up in Yin Xu’s eyes, threatening to fall. He looked down at the ground, causing the tears to drop directly onto the floor, bypassing his cheeks as if to conceal their presence.

As the night wind howled, bringing a chill to the autumn air, Yin Xu’s heart felt as though it too had been invaded by the autumn breeze, leaving it in disarray. He couldn’t make sense of his emotions, which seemed to fluctuate between warmth and coldness, prompting him to tighten his coat.

The stars still shimmered in the sky above, and the telescope beside them remained trained on the mysterious celestial bodies far beyond, yet now they seemed to go unnoticed by anyone.

“I… I understand,” Yin Xu replied softly, feeling like he needed to express something, as if not doing so would be ungrateful.

Yu Zhi withdrew his hand into his pocket, rubbing his palm against an unseen surface, dispersing the memory of their recent touch and its warmth.

“…Good to know,” he responded after a moment of silence.

Another silence followed.

Despite the ostensibly positive nature of their conversation, neither of them felt uplifted. Yu Zhi adjusted his demeanor and expression, concealing any hint of his feelings.

Yin Xu didn’t even look at him at this moment, let alone discern anything from his expression.

“The wind is picking up tonight. If you don’t want to stay any longer, we can head back,” Yu Zhi said with a smile.

Yin Xu nodded and followed Yu Zhi downstairs.

Yu Zhi led the way without turning back. However, when they reached the staircase, his footsteps halted momentarily. He glanced back as he felt Yin Xu’s hand tugging at his sleeve.

Looking up at Yin Xu, he raised an eyebrow in question.

Instead of meeting his gaze, Yin Xu pointed towards the telescope. “Um, that…”

Yu Zhi understood and reassured him, “Someone will come to tidy up.”

Yin Xu then remembered the well-lit appearance of the villa when they arrived, indicating that someone had prepared in advance. If so, someone would come to tidy up after they left.

He turned back to glance at the telescope and called out to Yu Zhi, “Sir.”

Yu Zhi turned around, and Yin Xu made a request, “Can I have it?”

Despite the unexpected turn of events tonight, he couldn’t forget the awe and joy it had brought him.

Yu Zhi understood, “You want it?”

Yin Xu nodded. He knew it was probably expensive, and he also knew he probably wouldn’t be able to afford it for a long time, but he still wanted it.

“Okay, I’ll have someone send it to your house,” Yu Zhi agreed.

“Thank you, sir,” Yin Xu said, feeling slightly calmer and managing to smile.

As they descended the stairs, Yin Xu’s gaze unintentionally fell on the man’s back in front of him. Lost in watching his tall and sturdy figure, he didn’t pay attention to the path ahead, stumbling and almost falling.

At the critical moment, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him forward, changing his downward momentum into a forward lunge, crashing into the man’s chest.

It was hard, and it made his nose tingle with pain.

This pain reminded him of the night he first arrived at the man’s house, the kick that had landed on his buttocks, a dull ache still lingering.

“Be careful, why weren’t you looking where you were going?” Yu Zhi reminded him, swiftly helping him up and creating some distance between them.

Since he had already said that, any further intimate gestures would be inappropriate.

Yin Xu kept his head down and didn’t speak.

Once they were in the car, Yu Zhi focused on driving, occasionally glancing at Yin Xu sitting in the passenger seat.

Yin Xu appeared calm, with little expression except for a distant look in his eyes, which somewhat reassured Yu Zhi.

He was right.

As long as the boundaries were clear, there might be some brief disappointment or sadness, but things would get better over time.

It wouldn’t hurt too much, nor would it affect their relationship too deeply.

When they arrived home, it was already 10 p.m. Instead of sending him straight to bed, Yu Zhi led him into the dining room, where the meals prepared in advance by the maid were reheated and served.

He didn’t distance himself after expressing his stance, as that would only cause an emotional backlash.

Instead, he remained calm and composed, as always. Gradual and subtle changes would be easier for Yin Xu to accept.

“Finish your meal and rest early. You have school tomorrow morning,” Yu Zhi reminded him.

Yin Xu wasn’t hungry, but he found it hard to refuse. He knew that Yu Zhi was looking out for him, and declining might seem ungrateful.

The TV in the living room played a period drama he had never seen before. Although he couldn’t see the screen, he could hear the voices. The cheerful background music diluted the bitterness in his heart.

The indescribable feeling from the villa seemed to have vanished.

Life went on as usual, seemingly unchanged.

The same dining table, the same conversations. The man who wanted to be his father did care for him deeply, asking about his daily life and studies.

It was only then that Yin Xu realized everything had been foretold.

But he was too foolish and naive to see it.

From the beginning, this man had treated him like a younger relative.

Why did he misunderstand?

Someone as worthless as himself, how could he possibly be liked by this nearly flawless man? His speculations were simply ludicrous.

How could he have misunderstood?

He should be grateful that the man hadn’t noticed his thoughts and feelings. Otherwise, even if the man had been willing, he would never have stayed.

It would have been too humiliating.

Yin Xu felt a bit sad. He couldn’t help but wonder, what if there hadn’t been any misunderstandings? How wonderful would that have been?

After dinner, Yu Zhi watched the teenager go inside, finally feeling a long sigh of relief.

He placed the dishes in the dishwasher and then went to his study to light a cigarette.

The smell of smoke filled the room, but Yu Zhi didn’t smoke, he just breathed it in.

Even though he was accustomed to acting, today he discovered for the first time how exhausting it could be.

He had to constantly monitor his own emotions and expressions, while also paying attention to the other person’s feelings and responding appropriately to them.

Tonight, Yin Xu felt the same as always, with no difference, all feelings carefully crafted by Yu Zhi.

In reality, whether it was his words and actions, or the food and TV in the house, everything was carefully calculated by him.

After finally settling everything, Yu Zhi always felt a slight chill on his back, caused by the tension in his nerves leading to a slight sweat.

As a cigarette burned out and purified the air, Yu Zhi turned and left the study without a word, entering Xiao Pang’s room.

Turning on the light, entering the room, pulling back the blanket, all done in one breath, and sure enough, catching Xiao Pang sneaking his phone.

“Dad?! Why are you here, you woke me up!” Xiao Pang learned to strike preemptively.

Yu Zhi reached out and confiscated his phone. “From now on, call Yin Xu ‘Brother’ and don’t talk nonsense with him. If you can do that, I’ll give your phone back next month.”

Xiao Pang widened his eyes and struggled. “Dad! That’s not fair! Why do you get to take my phone?!”

Yu Zhi effortlessly lifted Xiao Pang off the bed by his clothes, suspending him in mid-air. “Do you agree or not?”

With fate dangling by the neck, Xiao Pang replied, “I… I agree! I agree!”

Satisfied, Yu Zhi released him and left the room.

Xiao Pang, tearful and reluctant, watched his phone, forcibly separate from him. Deep down, he made a silent vow to take control of his fate sooner rather than later!

Yin Xu couldn’t remember when he fell asleep. The next morning, he woke up feeling a bit groggy, as if he had had a strange dream.

The first half of the dream was sweet and wonderful, but the second half felt like a raging storm.

Mr. Yu saying he wanted to adopt him? Wanted to be his dad?

Impossible.

Yin Xu couldn’t help but laugh, feeling like he must have been overthinking things to have such a weird dream.

However, as he got up to pack his things for school and went to the balcony to retrieve his clothes, he froze in place, his expression stiffening.

There, on the spacious balcony, was a familiar telescope.

Suddenly, tears streamed down.

So it was true after all.

He didn’t like him…

……………………………

Author’s Note: 

Yin Xu: He doesn’t like me.

Yin Xu: Feeling blue…

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