Morning and Chapter 33

As the event ended and everyone left, He Mu was overjoyed. The words “Let’s go home together” carried immense weight.

“Are you busy later?” He Jun asked him.

He Mu put on his coat and wrapped his scarf properly. His makeup was still on, and a delicate beauty mark stood out clearly under his left eye. He was in a hurry, so he answered patiently, “Yes, what’s wrong?”

“You danced very well tonight.” He Jun’s eyes sparkled.

“Thank you.” He Mu was genuinely grateful for the chance He Jun had given him.

“You,” He Jun glanced at him, then looked away and scratched his head, “do you have any plans later?”

He Mu didn’t understand at first, but seeing He Jun’s hesitant expression he quickly realized what he meant. His first reaction was surprise. He didn’t dislike He Jun, yet his heart was already full of someone else and there was simply no room left.

So he answered very sincerely, “I’m sorry. I have other plans.”

No long explanation was needed. He Jun looked both disappointed and relieved. He grinned and said, “All right then. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

He Jun opened his arms, and He Mu politely returned the hug.

The two of them turned to leave together and found Chang Ming’an standing at the theater entrance with his hands in his pockets, watching them. He Jun called out “Teacher Chang,” then looked around as if the situation had suddenly become clear. He understood, said goodbye, and left without another word.

He Mu turned to look at Chang Ming’an. Now it was just the two of them. Joy flooded through him, his heart pounding with excitement, his cheeks flushed. He forced down the smile that kept trying to rise and pretended to be nonchalant, as if tonight’s unexpected performance had been something they planned all along.

Chang Ming’an said in a low voice, “Have you eaten? Let’s go get something to eat.”

Actors shouldn’t eat too much before going on stage, and He Mu especially shouldn’t eat much before dancing. He had only had a little bread, and by now he was starving. He nodded. “Okay.”

They walked out one after the other toward the parking lot. Chang Ming’an stayed silent the whole way, turning over what he had just seen. He knew with certainty that nothing was going on between He Mu and He Jun.

Because He Mu only likes me.

A sense of exhilaration rose in him, the feeling of a penniless man who has suddenly discovered a treasure only he knows how to find.

Yet he also felt uneasy and jealous. He wanted everyone to know how good He Mu was—his seemingly cold exterior that hid a kind heart, his intelligence mixed with awkwardness, his charm and sensitivity and shyness, his exceptional dancing. At the same time he wanted no one else to know. He wanted to keep every part of He Mu to himself, the good and the bad, the capriciousness, the lack of self-care, the habit of going barefoot, the cowardice.

A tangle of emotions churned inside him. He turned them over again and again until at last everything else fell away and only liking remained.

He stopped abruptly in frustration. He Mu, who had been following with his head down, bumped into his back. He Mu’s nose was red from the cold wind. Chang Ming’an pulled one of He Mu’s hands out of his coat pocket and held it in his own. The fingertips were cool. He slipped their joined hands into the warm pocket of his coat, ten fingers intertwined.

They walked on again. He Mu kept his hand still, daring only the slightest movement of his fingers. When they reached the parking spot they stood frozen in front of the car for two full seconds, neither of them thinking to let go.

Inside the car He Mu sat obediently in the passenger seat, hiding the smile he couldn’t quite suppress under his scarf so that only his eyes showed. Chang Ming’an saw him sitting there blankly, not even fastening his seatbelt, quietly amused with himself. He sighed, leaned over, and buckled it for him.

He Mu watched Chang Ming’an lean in, face so close, concentrating on the seatbelt as if it were the most important thing in the world. The warmth of Chang Ming’an’s hand still lingered on his fingertips. A surge of feeling rose in him. He pulled the scarf down and gently kissed Chang Ming’an’s cheek. Before the other could react he whispered, “I’ve thought about it seriously. I… can we date?”

Chang Ming’an looked into his eyes, the corners of his own eyes crinkling with a smile, and teased, “Won’t you reconsider?”

He Mu answered softly, “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. What’s your decision…?”

“Yes,” Chang Ming’an murmured, gazing steadily into He Mu’s eyes. “Yes…”

Without another word they tilted their heads at the same moment. Their lips met and their breaths mingled. He Mu trembled as he closed his eyes, mouth slightly open, tongue gently brushing Chang Ming’an’s teeth. Chang Ming’an cupped his face, thumb stroking his cheek and reaching for the trembling lashes.

When the kiss ended they drew back a little, faces still flushed, eyes full of quiet satisfaction.

He Mu reached up and wrapped his arms around Chang Ming’an’s neck, gently biting his lower lip and nuzzling noses in a playful way. Chang Ming’an was amused; a muffled laugh rose from his chest. He lightly pecked He Mu’s moist lips, the faint lipstick already wiped away between them.

“Let’s go eat something first.”

It was getting late, so Chang Ming’an drove to a restaurant near the school. The window was decorated with Christmas ornaments, and a tree strung with colored lights stood at the entrance. A few couples who had finished their Christmas dinner were walking out hand in hand. The place was not crowded. They found a booth and sat facing each other.

He Mu was like a restless kitten, sometimes hooking his toes around Chang Ming’an’s calves, sometimes drawing circles on his palm with a fingertip. None of it carried any lustful intent, only pure, bubbling joy. Chang Ming’an felt helpless and thoroughly indulgent.

They couldn’t resist ordering a Christmas meal for two: steak, salad, dessert, and red wine.

Chang Ming’an neatly cut the steak into small pieces and slid the plate toward He Mu. He Mu ate one piece at a time, finished the salad and dessert, then downed a full glass of red wine in one go like a calf. He let out a soft burp, winked, and announced, “Finished eating.”

They were the last customers left. After paying and stepping outside they found that the first snow of the winter, which had been threatening all season, had finally begun to fall. At first it was only a few flakes that landed on He Mu’s nose, then it thickened into a steady, soft drizzle. Before they even reached the car He Mu threw himself into Chang Ming’an’s arms, slipped his hands under the coat, and wrapped them tightly around his waist.

Chang Ming’an covered the ears that had turned red from the wind with both hands and kissed him again in the first snow of the year.

They couldn’t get enough of kissing.