Morning And Evening Chapter 28

Chang Ming’an is naturally warm, like a big heater, even his feet, which are most prone to getting cold, are warm.

When He Mu woke up, he found himself nestled in Chang Ming’an’s arms, his nose pressed against Chang Ming’an’s chest, his feet tucked between Chang Ming’an’s crossed legs, ankle to ankle. It was so warm. Chang Ming’an’s hands were loosely resting on his waist, his steady breathing gently blowing through his hair.

He Mu couldn’t resist moving his head slightly and nuzzling Chang Ming’an with the tip of his nose. Chang Ming’an stirred in his sleep, and He Mu quickly stopped, quietly looking up to meet Chang Ming’an’s sleepy eyes.

Their breaths mingled. He Mu stared intently at Chang Ming’an, his gaze shifting from hazy to clear, then narrowing slightly. They were so close that He Mu could even see the faint mole on Chang Ming’an’s nose and the newly grown light blue stubble.

The phone next to my pillow suddenly went off, like a finger popping a bubble.

Both of them blushed deeply and got out of bed one after the other to wash up.

Today is the Winter Solstice. Chang Ming’an was going to have dinner with his mother, Yang Xiaozhen. He wanted to ask He Mu if he had any plans, but after thinking about it, he decided not to. Chang Ming’an knew very little about He Mu’s family. He only knew that his mother, Miss He, had passed away, but he didn’t know when or why she had passed away, or who was his guardian after his mother’s death. Seeing that He Mu didn’t mention it at all, Chang Ming’an gave up on the matter.

“Um, I’m not coming home for dinner today…” He Mu was about to leave when he realized he was being foolish. It was the winter solstice, and Chang Ming’an was definitely going to eat with his family. Who cared whether he came home or not?

Chang Ming’an doesn’t go out in the morning, but he goes shopping with Ms. Yang Xiaozhen in the afternoon, and then they do some shopping together and cook a big winter solstice meal.

He hesitated for a moment, then finally asked, “Do you eat dumplings or glutinous rice balls for the Winter Solstice?”

He Mu thought for a moment and said, “Tangyuan, with sesame filling.”

Chang Ming’an casually pulled out the end of his ponytail that was tucked into his scarf and said, “Okay.”

He Mu first took a bus for almost an hour to reach a columbarium in the suburbs.

A three-story building, nestled against the mountain and facing the lake, appears somewhat desolate in winter, but is beautiful in spring, summer, and autumn. Quiet and deserted, it is where his mother, Miss He’s, ashes are kept. Originally, they weren’t here. Her maternal uncle’s family had placed her in a very cheap columbarium further away, which was neglected and poorly maintained. After earning money through part-time work, He Mu found this place himself and placed his mother’s ashes here.

He knew nothing about her birthday or death, and her maternal uncle’s family never mentioned her, and when they did, they never said anything nice about it. So he could only visit her every year on the winter solstice, a time for family reunion.

The small, three-story columbarium was almost deserted except during peak memorial periods like Qingming Festival. Only the elderly caretaker sat at the entrance, smoking a cigarette, and nodded to He Mu in greeting. Inside, rows of tall cabinets reached the ceiling, each divided into small compartments. Miss He’s ashes were placed far inside, in a spot by the window.

Her maternal uncle’s family didn’t have any photos of her, and naturally, He Mu wouldn’t either. The photo placed before her coffin was from her ID card. She was very young, wearing a plain-colored cheongsam, with a long braid hanging down her chest, smiling like a lily in the mountains. She also had slightly upturned almond-shaped eyes, more alluring than He Mu, and a beauty mark under her eye that He Mu didn’t have.

He Mu took a small floral cloth from his backpack and wiped the photo frame and urn in the small compartment clean for Miss He. He carefully arranged them, closed the glass door again, and stared at Miss He’s photo, lost in thought, unsure of what to say. After a long while, he whispered, “I’m leaving.”

Although it was cold today, some sunlight streamed in through the tall, narrow window, and it was so quiet you could hear someone breathing.

Others might find it eerie, but He Mu didn’t. As he passed the other cubicles, he saw two photos placed in the same one: a young, spirited boy and a girl dressed in Republic-era clothing, their ashes intertwined. Each cubicle held a long and complicated story.

Meanwhile, Chang Ming’an was accompanying Yang Xiaozhen to the supermarket.

Ms. Yang Xiaozhen took the lead, directing and dictating with ease, while Chang Ming’an followed behind, pushing a shopping cart and tossing in various daily necessities and food items as she requested.

“Pork tenderloin! It’s pork tenderloin! Why did you throw in a frozen pork bone!” Yang Xiaozhen took the frozen pork bone he had thrown in out again.

Chang Ming’an had been lost in thought. He was thinking that when he woke up and he and He Mu were staring at each other, he saw the longing in He Mu’s eyes. At that moment, the atmosphere was just too good. He even wanted to lean down and kiss her, without any desire or greed, just wanting to be close to each other and whisper sweet nothings.

Do they like each other?

Chang Ming’an had also had several relationships that ended, but he suddenly felt unfamiliar with the emotion of “liking.”

“Where did you lose your soul?” Yang Xiaozhen glared at him and threw a bunch of cabbages into the shopping cart.

“Nothing.”

Yang Xiaozhen swiftly changed the subject. “How’s that girl from last time?”

Chang Ming’an had almost completely forgotten about that failed blind date when he remembered it and frankly said, “It wasn’t good. It wasn’t suitable.”

Yang Xiaozhen was exasperated. “Unsuitable? What kind of ‘suitable’ is that?”

Chang Ming’an didn’t answer her, but just shook his head and smiled. Yang Xiaozhen had a fiery temper, while Chang Ming’an was gentle. It was like throwing a punch into cotton. She had nowhere to land a blow and couldn’t do anything to him.

After the mother and son returned to the car, Chang Ming’an asked her, “Why don’t we go back to the school? I arranged for someone to come over this morning to replace the air conditioners in the living room and bedroom with inverter models. It’ll be more comfortable to have the heating on in the dead of winter.”

Yang Xiaozhen asked suspiciously, “Aren’t you not afraid of the cold? Why waste this money?”

Chang Ming’an touched his nose. “It’s warmer and more comfortable.”

When He Mu arrived at his uncle’s house, it was almost afternoon. His uncle was watching TV on the sofa, his aunt was busy in the kitchen, and his cousin and cousin’s husband were playing with their child. When he entered the house, he seemed to be invisible. Everyone only glanced at him before going about their own business.

After He Mu moved out, his original small room was turned into a storage room. With nowhere to hide, he could only sit in the corner of the sofa, hands in his pockets, without saying a word.

He lived with his uncle’s family since he could remember. His mother was, in their eyes, a promiscuous, self-inflicted, and mentally unstable woman. Why would someone commit suicide if they weren’t mentally unstable? Depression? That’s a mental illness only people with too much time on their hands get. When he was in high school, it was discovered he liked to wear women’s clothing and was attracted to the same sex. They initially called him a pervert, but later they treated him like he was invisible. Although they disliked him, they still made sure he came back for a meal every winter solstice.

At the dinner table, his uncle casually asked him, “He Mu, is your mother’s old house going to be demolished?”

That’s the reason.

He Mu swallowed the dumpling whole, but it got stuck in his throat, making him feel uncomfortable.

He wanted to eat sweet glutinous rice balls with sesame filling.