DIHBSG chapter 40

Song Jian interrogated them for quite a while and still couldn’t get even a single hair’s worth of information.

He asked the broken record, “What exactly do I know?”

The broken record launched into a tongue-twister of an explanation. “I already said only you know. How would I know what it is? I came to capture you alive because someone wanted to know what you know. Otherwise, why would they send us to capture you alive?”

Song Jian felt that made perfect sense and was actually unable to refute it.

He returned to the Emperor’s side, repeated the whole matter, and asked, “Your Majesty, do you know what I know?”

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

“What do you think?”

Song Jian: “(。· _ · 。)”

But he really didn’t know.

And besides, they had clearly started by interrogating the spy, so how had all the questions ended up revolving around him now?

After interrogating him a few more times, Song Jian confirmed that the broken record genuinely knew nothing. The only thing this guy knew was that only Song Jian knew.

And as for that thing only he knew—

He didn’t know it.

Heh. This wasn’t how a hidden plot was supposed to be unlocked at all.

The winter hunt soon came to an end. A banquet and rewards were held at Yilin Palace, and as expected, the biggest prize went to the Tang residence.

However, Song Jian heard from Gong Defu that Yan Jiaci’s harvest this year had also been considerable. Logically speaking, he could have competed for the luminous pearl as well, but since he had already won the grand prize last year, he intentionally yielded this year, fearing the officials in the capital would criticize the Emperor for favoring the Yan residence.

Song Jian gave a thumbs-up. “What a good official.”

In addition, Young Lord Gao also won a fairly good prize. Although it wasn’t as good as Young Lord Tang’s, he didn’t show the slightest resentment and even specially ran over to congratulate Young Lord Tang.

Song Jian said again, “Young Lord Tang and Young Lord Gao seem to have a pretty good relationship.”

Gong Defu said, “You guessed right. Young Lord Tang and Young Lord Gao grew up together since childhood. They may not be brothers by blood, but they’re closer than brothers.”

Song Jian said, “Then Lord Tang and Lord Gao…”

Gong Defu waved his horsetail whisk and smiled.

“Just a little squabble. His Majesty doesn’t pay it much mind.”

—

After the winter hunt, the capital entered the depths of winter.

Song Jian had never experienced such a cold winter before. Once the novelty of playing in the snow wore off, all that remained was the difficulty of getting out of bed and the dread of going to work.

It was too cold.

The entire Tiancha Division had been issued winter clothing, but Song Jian still felt freezing cold—so cold that he wished he could spend all day hugging a hot-water bottle and never have to step outside.

Xiao Yongning, however, was very thoughtful. She gave him a fur collar, a cloak, and a sheepskin hat. But because it was so cold outside, the effect of keeping warm wasn’t particularly obvious.

Thus—

Whenever he had nothing to do, Song Jian loved running over to Xiao Yinghuai’s side, practically taking root beside the Emperor.

It couldn’t be helped. In weather like this, only where the boss stayed was warm. The underfloor heating was blazing.

Gong Defu came in to serve tea. Seeing Song Jian standing beside the Emperor, he smiled and said, “Lord Song has been quite diligent these days. After finishing his night watch yesterday, he didn’t even return to the Tiancha Division. He stayed in the imperial study the entire day.”

Song Jian chuckled. “As I should, as I should. This subordinate dares not take credit.”

Xiao Yinghuai couldn’t be bothered to expose him and only said, “If you’re willing to stand guard, then stand guard. Just don’t cause trouble for me.”

Song Jian obediently swore on the spot, “If Your Majesty says go west, I’ll absolutely never go east! I firmly uphold: see no impropriety, hear no impropriety, speak no impropriety!”

Xiao Yinghuai gave him a faint glance before withdrawing his gaze again.

Heh.

Song Jian stood there with bright, sparkling eyes for an hour before gradually becoming blank-eyed.

The imperial study was indeed warm, but it also made people far too sleepy. He had nothing else to do, so he simply daydreamed. As he daydreamed, he began yawning widely.

“Ah—haa—”

He scratched his cheek and sniffled.

Just as he was about to fall asleep, Gong Defu came in to replace the incense in the burner, briefly waking him up.

But it didn’t last long. At first, he managed a few more yawns, but eventually he grew so sleepy that he stopped yawning altogether. He simply closed his eyes and began swaying.

When Xiao Yinghuai turned his head, the person beside him had already fallen asleep leaning against a pillar.

“…”

Soon it was time for the evening court.

Among the officials attending today were several unfamiliar faces. They stood outside the imperial study, trembling with fear. Unlike the other officials, who quietly conversed among themselves, these men had a layer of cold sweat covering their foreheads despite the freezing weather.

It was because these few had been personally summoned by the Emperor to report on their duties.

Reporting on duties itself wasn’t frightening. What was frightening was having failed their year-end evaluations and still being summoned to report. The Emperor’s intentions couldn’t have been more obvious.

Moreover, they had already been warned once before the winter hunt. Now every one of them was like a startled bird.

Not long afterward, Gong Defu came out to announce them, and the officials bowed as they entered in order.

But when it came to these few, Gong Defu smiled and stopped them. “Please wait, gentlemen. His Majesty has not yet summoned you.”

Their expressions instantly became even uglier.

Inside the imperial study.

Song Jian was awakened by the constant buzzing of voices.

Half-asleep, he slowly opened his eyes and found the carved edge of a desk in front of him.

The edge of a desk.

“…?”

Song Jian looked up. After staring blankly for quite a while, he finally realized that he had somehow fallen asleep. He was now curled up on the floor beside the Emperor, leaning against the Emperor’s chair and thigh. Afraid of falling over, both of his arms were wrapped tightly around them.

“???”

What happened?

“…Now that the situation in the court has stabilized, this humble subject believes that the matter of reorganizing the cabinet should be put on the agenda as soon as possible. Your Majesty is burdened with numerous state affairs, and as your subject, I only regret that I cannot help share Your Majesty’s worries…”

Song Jian slowly poked his head out.

Holy crap! So many officials!

Song Jian quickly shrank back again. Could someone please tell him why he had slept all the way until evening court and no one had woken him?

“I have My own plans regarding the matter of the cabinet.”

After saying that, the man beside him lowered his gaze slightly.

Song Jian immediately looked up at him pleadingly, blinking frantically.

“!!!!”

Your Majesty!!

Your Majesty!!!!

It wasn’t appropriate for Song Jian to stay here, but it would be even less appropriate for him to suddenly walk out.

Damn it, ahhhhh!

He pinned all his hopes on the Emperor before him to provide a perfect solution.

Instead, Xiao Yinghuai coldly withdrew his gaze without giving him the slightest instruction.

Song Jian: “T_T”

Wuwuwuwu.

He didn’t want to become the center of attention.

The other officials resumed discussing other important matters. The atmosphere was extremely solemn, while Song Jian sat curled up there as though sitting on pins and needles.

Too strange.

This was way too strange.

Unable to resist, Song Jian secretly tugged at the Emperor’s dragon robe and called in an extremely soft voice, “Your~~ Majesty~~”

“Your Majesty, this year’s military expenditures on the border are considerably higher than in previous years. This minister believes…”

Song Jian felt the angle he was curled up in was far too dangerous. If he shifted just a little to the left, he would be able to glimpse Xu Xian. If Xu Xian saw him, how was he supposed to explain what he was doing?

He tugged again.

The Emperor didn’t move in the slightest.

After thinking it over, Song Jian decided that relying on others was worse than relying on himself. For the sake of preserving the boss’s dignity, he could only wrong himself a little.

Taking advantage of the discussion growing louder, Song Jian hurriedly got up and crawled under the desk.

This desk was great. It blocked everything perfectly. As long as he waited until evening court ended, he could come out openly and honestly!

Xiao Yinghuai had just finished listening to someone from the Ministry of War. When he lowered his head again, he saw the young man kneeling beneath the desk with his butt sticking up.

Xiao Yinghuai: “?”

Song Jian made a gesture of pinching his lips shut toward the Emperor, meaning he wouldn’t make a sound.

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

The Minister of War said, “Your Majesty.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Your Majesty?”

Xiao Yinghuai came back to his senses and saw all the officials looking at him in confusion.

“It’s nothing. Continue.”

The Minister of War inhaled sharply and fell silent for a long while. “Um, Your Majesty… I think this minister already finished speaking just now.”

Xiao Yinghuai fell silent for a moment.

Fortunately, Xu Xian knew how to smooth things over. He said, “If Your Majesty is feeling unwell today, perhaps we should continue this discussion another day.”

The other officials quickly echoed his words, all expressing concern for the Son of Heaven’s health.

Xiao Yinghuai no longer looked below and said calmly, “It’s fine.”

However, even if he refused to look, the person beneath the desk couldn’t stay still.

Before long, Song Jian’s entire body became stiff and sore from lying there. He couldn’t help wanting to move.

Move.

Move.

Move.

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Song Jian regretted it again. He struggled to turn himself around and quietly pleaded with the Emperor, “Your Majesty… can I come out…” I can’t hold on anymore, wuwuwu.

Xiao Yinghuai said nothing. He merely stretched out one leg.

Song Jian’s last chance to escape disappeared. It was hard to imagine how things had developed into this.

Lying beneath the desk, Song Jian secretly watched the officials outside through the gap under the table.

Hurry up and talk! Hurry! Talk faster!

The moment he finished thinking that, he heard the Emperor speak.

“My dear officials, there’s no need to rush. Take your time.”

Song Jian: “…”

Xiao Yinghuai, I’m definitely going to sue you.

After hiding beneath the desk for who knew how long, Song Jian finally couldn’t endure it anymore. He stuck his head out toward the Emperor and stretched his neck.

Feeling the movement by his leg, Xiao Yinghuai didn’t even look. He simply reached out and pushed Song Jian’s head back under the desk..

Damn!

Song Jian flew into a tiny thunderous rage!

While the officials were discussing matters among themselves, Xiao Yinghuai lowered his eyes and mouthed silently, “If you dare let anyone discover you, I’ll have you executed.”

Song Jian instantly cowered.

Wuwu!! Aahhh!!

Now Xiao Yinghuai realized how embarrassing it was? Why hadn’t he woken him up when he fell asleep just now? Song Jian was one hundred percent certain that Xiao Yinghuai had done it on purpose.

Song Jian crossed his arms over his chest, eyes brimming with tears, puffed up with anger like a steamed bun.

Only Xu Xian keenly noticed something was unusual. He paused, thinking: Their Majesty… who is he talking to?

The evening court didn’t end until another hour later. Song Jian’s legs were so stiff they nearly cramped.

He wanted to crawl out, but the man was still blocking the way. Song Jian cleared his throat. “Your Majesty! Everyone’s gone! Hurry and let this subordinate out!”

The imperial study was frighteningly quiet.

The next moment, Xu Xian’s voice slowly sounded.

“…This minister takes his leave.”

Song Jian: “…”

No.

Why hadn’t Xu Xian left yet?

At this moment, Xu Xian practically ran out.

He silently recited to himself: See no evil. See no evil. See no evil. A true gentleman does not look at improper things.¹“非禮勿視” (fēi lǐ wù shì) comes from a famous Confucian saying: “非禮勿視，非禮勿聽，非禮勿言，非禮勿動,” meaning “Do not look at what is improper, do not listen to what is improper, do not speak of what is improper, and do not do what is improper.” In this scene, Xu Xian is humorously reminding himself to avoid looking at an embarrassing situation.

The doors closed completely. Xiao Yinghuai looked toward the person beneath the desk, who was as well-behaved as a quail.

“So eager to have me execute you?”

Song Jian felt like dying. Keeping his head lowered, he wiped away tears as he said, “This subordinate knows he was wrong. This subordinate will never dare do it again. Please spare this subordinate, Your Majesty.”

“You don’t even bother changing your wording when begging for mercy.”

Song Jian thought, ‘Why would begging for mercy need so many variations?’ But he obediently changed his phrasing anyway.

Sniffling, he muttered, “This subordinate doesn’t want to die. This subordinate still wants to continue serving Your Majesty. If this subordinate dies, this subordinate won’t be able to work for Your Majesty anymore. Please calm Your Majesty’s anger. Please be merciful.”

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

A moment later—

“Come out.”

Song Jian hurriedly crawled out timidly.

Xiao Yinghuai said, “Help me put on a performance. Make up for your mistake.”

Song Jian’s eyes widened. “What performance, Your Majesty?!”

Xiao Yinghuai called for Gong Defu, and Gong Defu quickly summoned the people waiting outside.

The moment they entered, they knelt directly on the floor, trembling like sieves.

Song Jian took one look.

Whoa.

All familiar faces.

Weren’t these the same slacker officials he and Tang Lai had visited before? They had been brought here again.

The first one on the left was Lord Zhao. The moment he came in, he burst into tears, crying with heartfelt remorse.

“Your Majesty, these past few days this minister has reflected deeply upon himself and profoundly repented for his mistakes. This minister’s aged mother supported this minister through ten years of study by making shoe soles. It was not easy for this minister to become an official, yet this minister became complacent instead of striving to improve. This minister has failed both his mother’s painstaking efforts and Your Majesty’s appreciation. This minister truly deserves death!”

The other three cried in much the same way. Song Jian even suspected they had memorized the same template before coming.

Holding his saber, he put on a stern face to back up the Emperor, ready at any moment to step forward and frighten someone with his blade, just waiting for the Emperor’s order.

“Song Jian, what crime should you be punished for?”

Song Jian drew his saber with a shua.

“That’s right! What crime should you be punished for!”

The four people on the floor fell silent.

Then confused.

Then astonished.

Song Jian was silent.

Silent.

Still silent.

Wait.

He turned his head and discovered the Emperor was staring at him coldly.

“M… me?”

Xiao Yinghuai leaned back in his chair, leisurely tapping the table.

“If not you, then me?”

It took Song Jian a while to finally understand what kind of performance this was.

His eyes darted around. He looked at the four people on the floor, then at the Emperor, before dropping to his knees with a thump.

“Your Majesty, spare my life!!”

Xiao Yinghuai said, “Abandoning your post, neglecting your duties, finding faults where there are none, and refusing to admit them when they exist—do you know what happened to the last person who served me like that?”

Song Jian shook his head and quickly handed the Emperor an opening.

“This subordinate doesn’t know!”

Xiao Yinghuai said, “The grass on his grave is already as tall as you.”

Song Jian gave an exaggerated shudder and wailed in fright.

“This subordinate deserves ten thousand deaths! Please calm Your Majesty’s anger! From now on, this subordinate will definitely work hard and never slack off again!”

Xiao Yinghuai said, “You’re only saying it with your mouth. How am I supposed to believe you?”

Song Jian shouted, “If Your Majesty doesn’t believe this subordinate, then this subordinate can only die to atone for his crimes!”

Xiao Yinghuai: “…”

What kind of acting was that?

He curled a finger. “Come here.” Once again, he took back control of the situation.

Song Jian scrambled over.

“How many times have you said words like that to me? I’ve heard them so often my ears are about to grow calluses. Holding a position yet neglecting its duties—I could charge you with dereliction of duty. Saying these words again and again yet refusing to change your ways—I could charge you with deceiving the sovereign.”

“Lord Song, you’ve repeatedly disregarded imperial authority. How many heads do you have for me to cut off?”

Song Jian cried at the top of his lungs.

“Your Majesty is right! This subordinate has no face left to keep living! Please beat this subordinate to death!”

Xiao Yinghuai didn’t stand on ceremony. He reached out with one hand and gripped Song Jian by the neck.

He had intended to keep acting a while longer.

Unexpectedly, after only holding him for only two seconds, the person in his hand tilted his head to one side and stuck out his tongue.

“Ah, I’m dead.”

Xiao Yinghuai almost laughed from anger.

As soon as he released his hand, the young man fell backward with a thump, dutifully playing the role of a “corpse.”

The four officials who had come to report on their duties: “!!!!”

“Your Majesty, calm your anger!!”

“Your Majesty, spare our lives!!”

“This minister knows he was wrong! From now on, this minister will devote himself wholeheartedly until death!”

“This minister hereby makes a military pledge! If by next year this minister still has no political achievements, then this minister will die to atone!”

“This minister will also die to atone!”

Having heard what he wanted, Xiao Yinghuai leisurely clapped his hands.

“My dear officials, your words are too serious. You are all my subjects. This is the last situation I wish to see.”

The four had just breathed a sigh of relief.

Then Xiao Yinghuai said, “However, my dear officials also know that I cannot tolerate even a grain of sand in my eyes.”

Their hearts instantly leapt back into their throats.

Xiao Yinghuai said, “Go back and write a report on your duties for submission. I will personally review it. If you have the energy, you may also write next year’s plans. Of course, if you don’t have the energy…”

The four hurriedly replied, “We do! We do! We absolutely do!!”

Xiao Yinghuai said, “Excellent.”

“Very well. My dear officials should return to your residences and rest early.”

Covered in cold sweat, they knelt in gratitude.

“This minister takes his leave!”

Song Jian was lying very comfortably on the floor. After waiting for quite a while, he opened one eye to take a look. Seeing everyone had left, he quickly climbed to his feet.

“Hehe, Your Majesty, how was this subordinate’s acting?”

Xiao Yinghuai stood up and commented, “Your cowardice felt very real. A true-to-life performance.”

Song Jian: “?”

The man had already put on his cloak and walked out.

Song Jian hurried after him.

“Your Majesty!”

“Your Majesty!”

“This subordinate was only acting!”

“Really?” Xiao Yinghuai reached over and drew the saber at Song Jian’s waist. “Then what if I were to execute you right now?”

“…”

“Wu… Your Majesty, spare my life…”

“Heh.”

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  “非禮勿視” (fēi lǐ wù shì) comes from a famous Confucian saying: “非禮勿視，非禮勿聽，非禮勿言，非禮勿動,” meaning “Do not look at what is improper, do not listen to what is improper, do not speak of what is improper, and do not do what is improper.” In this scene, Xu Xian is humorously reminding himself to avoid looking at an embarrassing situation.