Although there were many guests at the banquet, Sang Xiyin was the center of attention wherever he went, as the guest of honor celebrating his birthday.
With so many people watching him, Yu Zhi kept his expression calm, as though he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest.
He had two choices.
The first was to admit that he didn’t have a girlfriend and explain that he had only said so earlier to turn down the young woman’s advances politely.
The second was to insist that he did have a girlfriend.
The first option would mean admitting that he had lied, but it had been a white lie meant to spare someone’s feelings. Besides, using the excuse of already having a partner to reject someone’s advances was extremely common. No one would blame him for it.
The second option would make it difficult to explain why he had previously told Sang Xiyin that he didn’t have a girlfriend.
Whichever way he looked at it, the first option was the easiest and simplest.
A flicker passed through Yu Zhi’s eyes. Then, with a perfectly natural expression, he said, “Yes, my junior is right. I do have a partner. I’m sorry to disappoint the old gentlemen. I appreciate your kind intentions.”
Yu Zhi chose the second option.
Sang Xiyin’s gaze shifted slightly as he watched him. An inexplicable glimmer, dark and elusive, seemed to pass through the depths of his eyes.
Yu Zhi offered a polite smile and apologized. This only made the elderly men, who had been meddling in his love life and trying to pair people up without knowing the full story, feel awkward instead.
“It’s all right, it’s all right! We should have asked around first. Look at the mess we’ve made!”
Grandpa Sang’s friend smiled kindly.
“Even if you can’t become a couple, you can still be friends. Young people should get to know more people. It makes life livelier.”
With that, he turned to his granddaughter.
“This young man probably isn’t very familiar with the place, either. You young people can have a chat together. We old fellows have some catching up to do ourselves.”
The young woman glanced at Yu Zhi. Seeing that he hadn’t refused, she turned to her grandfather.
“Then take care of yourself, Grandpa. Oh, and you mustn’t drink alcohol or eat desserts. The doctor specifically warned you about that!”
The old man was touched by his granddaughter’s concern, but he deliberately put on an annoyed expression.
“All right, all right! Even the doctor doesn’t nag me as much as you do. You’re so young, yet you’ve already turned into a little busybody!”
The young woman gave him a proud, slightly petulant glare.
Yu Zhi presented his gift and offered his birthday wishes.
“I hope Mr. Sang enjoys peace, happiness, and good health in the years to come. May you celebrate this day year after year, with each birthday as joyful as the last.”
His gift box was small and flat. Sang Xiyin was a little tempted to open it and see what was inside, but with so many people around, he restrained himself. He had someone put the gift away before continuing to greet the other guests.
At a birthday banquet, gifts would normally be placed at a designated gift-receiving area. However, given the special circumstances, Sang Xiyin had specifically instructed someone to keep Yu Zhi’s gift separately instead of putting it together with the pile of other presents.
“Senior, for a moment there, I almost thought you’d claimed to have a girlfriend just to turn me down,” the young woman said, pretending to be disappointed. “That way, I could at least have kept my hopes up about you.”
Yu Zhi knew she was joking, so he merely smiled without replying.
Once the older generation had left, the young woman and Yu Zhi were able to talk privately. After exchanging a few simple greetings and pleasantries, Yu Zhi could tell that she had genuinely moved on and no longer minded what had happened. Her attitude toward him had also become much more natural.
Meanwhile, the young woman couldn’t help remembering what her best friend had said before. She felt a little embarrassed, but also rather wistful.
Someone like Senior Yu can only be down on his luck for a little while. He’s bound to have a bright future.
And look how little time had passed before he had already established connections with both the Sang and Wen families. Judging by the way things looked, he seemed to have a pretty good relationship with them, too.
Just then, two people entered through the doorway.
The banquet hall fell silent for a brief moment before the chatter gradually resumed. Even so, people instinctively lowered their voices.
One of the newcomers was a woman wearing a black qipao. Although she had taken good care of herself, her age was still apparent. A young man followed behind her, dressed in a dark suit. His gaze was cold and heavy, and his entire presence radiated such icy distance that he seemed determined to keep everyone at arm’s length.
As soon as the woman entered, Grandpa Wen’s brows drew tightly together. His cloudy eyes darkened further.
The woman acted as though she hadn’t noticed him. She walked straight over to Sang Xiyin and gave him a hug.
“Happy birthday.”
The young woman’s eyes sparkled with curiosity as she watched them embrace.
“As expected, the only time you get to see her is at Old Master Sang’s birthday banquet.”
“Who is she?” Yu Zhi asked, though he already knew the answer. He was supposed to be unfamiliar with her, after all.
“She’s Madam Wen. But she dislikes being addressed by that title, so she tells everyone to call her Madam Xiao instead.”
“Is there a story behind that?”
“I don’t know the details very well. But I once heard the elders talk about it. Madam Xiao and Grandpa Wen were once a perfect couple in their younger days. Unfortunately, they eventually fell out.”
“Those two may have fallen out with each other, but they both still get along quite well with Old Master Sang. Even after their falling-out, they’ve continued to keep in touch with him,” the young woman explained, her voice full of admiration. “Now that’s what I call the highest level of friendship.”
Yu Zhi smiled faintly when he heard that.
Then he remembered the look in Sang Xiyin’s eyes earlier, and his eyelid twitched again. The smile on his lips faded slightly.
At the birthday banquet, several of the younger guests were competing to win Sang Xiyin’s favor. From a distance, Yu Zhi watched him surrounded by his younger relatives, watched him exchange greetings and chat cheerfully with his friends.
Yu Zhi felt like a passerby, an outsider looking in. All he could do was watch as Sang Xiyin experienced happiness, anger, sadness, and joy because of other people. None of it had anything to do with him.
Yu Zhi set down his wineglass. When he was in a bad mood, he didn’t like drinking, either.
Considering that he would have to live like this for many years to come, he might as well start getting used to it.
And so he did, throughout the entire birthday banquet. Apart from the brief moment when he had been able to get close to Sang Xiyin shortly after arriving, he never found another opportunity to approach him.
An unusually large number of people came to see Sang Xiyin. There were old friends from his younger days, numerous relatives, and even young people who admired him so much that they had gone out of their way to obtain invitations just to pay their respects.
Yu Zhi watched everything from the sidelines. Only when the banquet was well underway did he notice Sang Xiyin brace a hand against his lower back. A flicker of understanding passed through Yu Zhi’s eyes.
Sang Liushui was accompanying his girlfriend and chatting with their friends when he suddenly felt someone pat him on the shoulder. He turned around and saw Yu Zhi.
“Teacher Yu!”
Sang Liushui instinctively tensed up. Every time he saw Yu Zhi, he was reminded of the mountain of homework he had been assigned, far more than Wen Li had to do.
Then he remembered that, in a setting like this, Teacher Yu certainly wouldn’t bring up homework. He relaxed.
Yu Zhi did not mention homework. Instead, he leaned over and whispered a few words into Sang Liushui’s ear.
Sang Liushui glanced toward Sang Xiyin, then nodded.
“Don’t worry, Teacher Yu. I understand.”
As he spoke, Sang Liushui walked over to Sang Xiyin. Smiling at the several people who were talking with him, he said, “I’m sorry to interrupt, Uncles and Aunties, but I need to borrow my Great-Uncle for a little while.”
“Isn’t that Xiao Er1Little Second? He probably has something important to discuss with Xiyin. Go on, Xiyin. Take care of your business. We can continue chatting among ourselves.”
Sang Xiyin smiled and agreed. “All right. Xuewen, please make sure our guests are well looked after.”
Sang Xuewen was Sang Xingyun and Sang Liushui’s father.
“Don’t worry, Great-Uncle.”
Only then did Sang Xiyin follow Sang Liushui away.
“What is it? Did you have a falling-out with someone?”
Sang Liushui looked displeased. “Great-Uncle, do you really think I’m that stupid? Do you think I can’t even handle my own relationships with people?”
Sang Xiyin smiled and ruffled his hair. “Of course not. But no matter how grown-up our Xiao Bao gets, he’ll always be a child in Great-Uncle’s eyes. I’m just worried about you. I care about you.”
Rather than getting upset when Sang Xiyin messed up his hairstyle, Sang Liushui only smiled more happily, looking both delighted and touched.
“Thank you, Great-Uncle!” he said with a cheerful grin. “But this time, I really don’t need you to help me with anything.”
He led Sang Xiyin over to a sofa and helped him sit down, then poured him a cup of warm water. The soft sofa supported Sang Xiyin’s lower back, and he unconsciously relaxed, his voice growing gentler.
“Whatever it is, just tell me.”
“There’s nothing.”
“Hm?” Sang Xiyin looked at him in confusion.
Sang Liushui sat beside him, grinning. “I just noticed that you’ve been standing and talking with everyone for ages. You must be tired, so I thought I’d bring you over to rest for a while. That’s all.”
Sang Xiyin was taken by surprise. His smile grew even gentler, filled with warmth and relief.
“Our Xiao Bao has grown up. Thank you, Xiao Bao.”
Sang Liushui felt a little guilty. He didn’t dare admit that he hadn’t noticed it himself and that someone else had pointed it out to him.
Besides, Teacher Yu had asked him to keep it a secret. He didn’t know why, but it wasn’t anything particularly important, so keeping quiet was no trouble.
Still, he felt he hardly deserved his Great-Uncle’s praise.
As a result, he took even better care of Sang Xiyin. Not only did he bring over the foods his Great-Uncle liked, but he also kept massaging his shoulders and rubbing his back. Sang Xiyin never stopped smiling.
Watching them from a distance, Yu Zhi finally felt a little relieved.
He had originally thought that, with his family around to accompany and care for him, Sang Xiyin must have a comfortable, warm life in which everything went smoothly.
But now, it seemed that although his family were filial and cared about him, they still weren’t attentive enough. No one could care for him with the same intimacy and attention to detail as a lover.
Yu Zhi lowered his head and looked at his own hands. He had both the ability and the sincerity to care for Sang Xiyin, yet all he could do was watch silently from a distance. There were so many things concerning Sang Xiyin that he was powerless to do anything about.
It’s still not convenient, he thought with a bitter smile.
Yu Zhi hadn’t made any new acquaintances at the birthday banquet, nor had he had anything to do. Even so, he stayed until the very end. He didn’t leave until almost everyone else had gone.
It was getting late, so the offer to stay overnight was turned down by Sang Xiyin, who insisted, “It’s only a few steps away, and I’m not tired. I might as well take a walk.”
Grandpa Sang had no choice but to compromise.
“Then have Xingyun take you home.”
“Dad, Xingyun is helping Great-Uncle take his gifts back to his house,” Sang Xuewen reminded him.
Sang Liushui stepped forward. “I’ll take Great-Uncle home.”
Everyone agreed.
Sang Xiyin didn’t think he had reached the point where he needed someone to escort him just to walk such a short distance, but he didn’t refuse their kindness, either.
His older brother had repeatedly urged him to move in and live with him, but Sang Xiyin still preferred having a space of his own. He had turned down the offer, though their homes were so close that they often visited each other anyway.
When they reached his front door, Sang Xiyin turned to Sang Liushui and said, “Xiao Bao, go home and get some rest. I won’t keep you any longer.”
“Great-Uncle, you should get some rest early, too.”
Sang Xiyin smiled and nodded.
After entering the house, he ran into Sang Xingyun, who was coming out to meet him.
“Great-Uncle, I’ve put all your gifts in the gift room. You can take a look whenever you like.”
“All right. Da Bao, you should get some rest early, too.”
Sang Xiyin went inside and headed toward his bedroom, rubbing his forehead as he walked.
It was already eleven at night. Feeling drained, he shook his head with a wry smile. He really wasn’t as young as he used to be. Back then, he had stayed up through countless nights without a problem, but now he couldn’t manage it anymore.
As he passed the gift room, he noticed that the door had been left ajar. He casually pushed it, and it swung open.
He glanced at the mountain of gift boxes piled inside and immediately lost interest.
Over the years, Sang Xiyin had long since lost his sense of surprise and excitement when it came to gifts. There were very few things in this world that he hadn’t heard of or seen before, or that someone could give him as a present.
As for how much genuine thought people had put into their gifts, he couldn’t even be bothered to wonder about it.
However, just as he was about to leave, something caught his eye: a flat box set off to one side. Its deep azure-blue color was dignified and elegant, like the endless depths of the ocean, inviting anyone who saw it to explore what lay within.
Sang Xiyin remembered the box. After all, it was the only gift that had been presented to him in person that evening.
Thinking of that rather peculiar young man, Sang Xiyin found himself wanting to understand what was going through his mind. Before he knew it, he had reached out and slowly picked up the gift box, then began to unwrap it.
The smooth silk ribbon came undone and drifted to the floor. When he opened the box, the first thing he saw was a field of white.
No, there was some ink-black writing against that snowy white background.
Inside were several sheets of A4 paper and a USB drive.
Sang Xiyin raised his eyebrows in confusion. Looking more closely, he saw that the papers contained recipes for medicinal dishes, meals prepared with ingredients chosen for their health benefits.
The papers also explained what was on the USB drive: videos showing how to prepare those dishes.
This young man…
Sang Xiyin was surprised. He was taken aback by how simple and unpretentious the gift was, but even more so by how much thought had gone into it.
Over the years, he had received precious natural treasures that were beneficial to his health, as well as expensive and rare medicinal ingredients. Yet he had never once received a collection of recipes.
There was a simple reason for that: they were too cheap.
For many people, giving a gift was not just about expressing their feelings. It was also a way to display their status and demonstrate how much effort they had put into choosing it.
How could a gift demonstrate the giver’s sincerity if it wasn’t expensive? Aside from the younger members of the family, who could get away with giving thoughtful little gifts that won people over, gift-giving for everyone else had practically become a work assignment. What mattered most was no longer the meaning behind a gift, but its actual monetary value.
Sang Xiyin knew his way around a kitchen, too, and he understood quite a bit about the benefits and medicinal properties of different ingredients. He could tell that these medicinal recipes were genuinely excellent. They were not only good for one’s health but also carefully balanced the flavors of the ingredients, ensuring that the finished dishes would remain delicious despite their medicinal properties. The amount of thought that had gone into them was evident.
Considering Yu Zhi’s field of study, it wasn’t surprising that he could come up with something like this.
Sang Xiyin didn’t want to waste the thought and effort behind the gift. He made a photocopy of the recipes, intending to give the copy to Aunt Du the next day so she could start preparing dishes according to them.
That evening, he used his computer to open the USB drive and transfer the videos to his phone. Then he lay down on his bed and watched them on his phone.
The person in the videos never showed his face. Only a pair of hands could be seen, occasionally accompanied by a voice explaining the steps or demonstrating particular movements. The voice was clear, smooth, pleasant to listen to and very familiar.
It was Yu Zhi.
He had prepared the dishes himself and filmed the videos himself.
So, should I go and ask that kid why he lied to me about this? Sang Xiyin wondered mischievously.
Half an hour later, the video was still playing, the calm voice continuing to explain each step at an unhurried pace. But the person lying in bed had already fallen fast asleep, his features relaxed and his expression utterly peaceful.
………………
The Next Day
Yu Zhi had a rare day off. He had no classes at the university, his laboratory was already running smoothly, and both of his students had gone to school.
Early that morning, he went to the greenhouse.
Neither Aunt Du nor Sang Xiyin was awake yet, but Yu Zhi had been given the password long ago. He entered the code without hesitation, unlocked the door, and made his way into the various glass greenhouses.
He watered the plants, adjusted the temperature, pulled weeds, sprayed pesticides, pruned branches, and took care of one task after another in an orderly manner.
He had been working for who knew how long when a voice sounded from behind him. Only then did he finally break out of his deep concentration and return to his senses.
“You’ve practically become my personal gardener during this time.”
There was a lighthearted, amused smile in Sang Xiyin’s voice.
Yu Zhi straightened up and raised his head. He set down the pruning shears, took off his gloves, and washed his hands under the tap. Then he wiped his face, clearing away the fine sheen of sweat.
“Being a gardener isn’t bad at all. You can plant flowers, tend to them, and protect them. Watching each plant grow up healthy and beautiful, bringing people pleasure and happiness, is something that gives you a real sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.” Yu Zhi’s eyes were deep and inscrutable. His words seemed to carry a hidden meaning, but he made sure Sang Xiyin neither saw it in his eyes nor detected it in his voice.
He turned his head and gave a faint smile before adding in a joking tone, “I just don’t know whether Mr. Sang would be willing to take me in as his gardener.”
Sang Xiyin studied him for a moment before replying in the same playful spirit, “Even if I agreed, I’m afraid other people wouldn’t. If a future big shot stayed by the side of an old man like me to work as a humble little gardener, wouldn’t that be a terrible waste of his talents?”
Yu Zhi laughed. When acting out a role, he seemed to have grown accustomed to using a smile to conceal his true feelings.
“You’re not old.”
Sang Xiyin let out a long sigh. “I am old. Even if I keep studying, trying to stay close to the things I once knew, and doing my best to slow the passage of time, my body continues to age, and my mind grows increasingly sluggish. I can still feel the years slipping away, and I’m all too aware of it.”
He smiled casually as he spoke, seemingly neither bothered by it nor taking it too much to heart. “If I didn’t occasionally scroll through Weibo, I wouldn’t even know how to use a word like ‘big shot.’” There were still plenty of other words and expressions he didn’t know the meaning of and couldn’t understand.
“Every stage of life has its own way of living. Wherever you are in life, you should enjoy what that stage has to offer. Why cling so tightly to the past?” Yu Zhi spoke gently. Without interrupting his work, he filled a cup with water for Sang Xiyin and placed it on the table where he could rest.
“If you can’t force things to be otherwise, it’s better to accept them calmly. At the very least, you can make life a little happier for yourself.”
Sang Xiyin picked up the cup. Feeling the warmth of the water through its sides, he smiled faintly. “Xiao Yu has a point.”
Yu Zhi studied him for a few moments longer, trying to work out what had led Sang Xiyin to adopt this attitude toward life.
He had assumed that, having lived through most of his life, Sang Xiyin would have become carefree and untroubled, meeting the days ahead with calm composure. But looking at him now, Yu Zhi began to feel that things might not be quite as he had imagined.
In an instant, the melody he had heard the first time he visited the Wen family came back to him.
Thousands of miles of longing, tens of thousands of miles of sorrow;
A single tune from the qin, its notes drifting through the emptiness.
What kind of feelings could have moved Sang Xiyin to compose a piece like that?
Was Sang Xiyin truly as well and happy as he appeared to be?
Suppressing the thoughts swirling in his mind, Yu Zhi shifted his attention to something else.
“This chair is a little hard. Would you like me to get you a soft cushion and a pillow?”
Sang Xiyin glanced at him and gave a somewhat helpless smile. “Xiao Yu, although we’ve never explicitly discussed it, you should be considered my guest, no matter how you look at it. And yet, as my guest, why are you always the one taking care of me? If this is about respecting the elderly and caring for the young, I asked you to call me Grandpa, but you refused.”
Yu Zhi fell silent for a few seconds. Then he looked at Sang Xiyin and said, “You don’t have to use an honorific to show respect for someone. I may not say it aloud, but I’ve always respected you in my heart.”
You respect me, yet you can’t even bring yourself to call me ‘you’ politely?
Sang Xiyin shook his head inwardly and chuckled. He wasn’t angry in the slightest.
He wasn’t quite sure what to make of this young man who showed him so little outward respect. All he knew was that whenever he looked at Yu Zhi, he felt at ease.
In the past, whenever Yu Zhi came over, Sang Xiyin often didn’t go downstairs at all. Instead, he would stay in his upstairs bedroom and watch the activity in the flower greenhouses through the window.
There were surveillance cameras in the greenhouses, but he didn’t like watching Yu Zhi through them. Doing so gave him a mechanical, unreal feeling, as though the person he was looking at wasn’t Yu Zhi at all, but merely an image produced by a machine.
Only when he watched with his own eyes could he feel that the worry weighing on his heart had truly been laid to rest.
He thought he was rather strange. For no apparent reason, he had become so attentive to a young man that he was practically a peeping tom. It was his own home, but even so, he rarely showed himself.
“I received your gift. Thank you. I really like it,” Sang Xiyin said. In the end, he couldn’t help adding a compliment. “There aren’t many young people as thoughtful as you these days.”
Especially young people willing to put so much thought into a gift for an old man like him, someone who had no particular connection to them and wasn’t even especially close to them.
Thinking about it, he wasn’t sure which of them was stranger: Yu Zhi or himself.
Yu Zhi glanced at him and said softly, “That’s why I said I really like you… and respect you.”
The word like had slipped out so naturally, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Even Sang Xiyin didn’t find anything odd about it. He knew he had always been well-liked by the younger generation, so when Yu Zhi said this, he didn’t think there was anything unusual about it, either.
“Mm. I can tell.”
Sang Xiyin’s smile faded, and he asked in a more serious tone, “So, Xiao Yu, can you tell your respected Mr. Sang why you told me before that you didn’t have a girlfriend?”
Yu Zhi: “……”
Seeing how Yu Zhi remained expressionless and composed, Sang Xiyin knew that he couldn’t possibly be as calm inside as he appeared. Suppressing a laugh, he teased him, “Hmm? Have you forgotten? You’re still so young. Surely your memory can’t already be worse than that of an old man like me, can it?”
The corner of Yu Zhi’s eye twitched. To stop this man from continuing to call himself an “old man” in front of him, Yu Zhi had no choice but to speak up.
“I haven’t forgotten. I still remember.”
Seeing that he really intended to answer, Sang Xiyin hurriedly stopped him. He had only meant to tease the young man and see how he would react.
“I was only joking. If there’s something private that you can’t tell other people, you don’t have to—”
“There’s nothing I can’t tell other people,” Yu Zhi interrupted, lowering his eyes. His voice was calm and matter-of-fact, as though he were discussing something entirely ordinary.
“I told you I have a lover.”
“I also told you I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Both statements are true.”
“I thought it would be easy enough to figure out.”
A thought suddenly occurred to Sang Xiyin, and his heart gave a little jump. He raised his eyes and glanced at Yu Zhi.
Yu Zhi met his gaze calmly, then just as calmly looked away. His tone remained composed and unhurried.
“Mm. You guessed correctly. My lover is a man.”
He didn’t say that he was gay. He only said that his lover was male. And the lover he spoke of would continue to exist in his words alone, forever remaining someone who would never appear in the real world.
Sang Xiyin watched Yu Zhi’s hands as they continued to move. He noticed that when Yu Zhi had spoken just now, he hadn’t stopped pruning the branches and leaves for even a moment, nor had his movements become unsteady. He continued shaping the branches neatly and appropriately, without cutting a single leaf or branch incorrectly.
Both his voice and his movements showed how composed he was. He truly wasn’t afraid, nor did he mind talking about it.
“Then, earlier, you…”
Yu Zhi’s hands paused for a brief moment. Then he smiled and continued naturally, “When I first met you, I wanted to make a good impression. I thought someone like you probably wouldn’t approve of a romantic relationship between two men. So when you asked me about it, I panicked for a moment and told a little lie.”
It was a perfectly reasonable explanation.
Sang Xiyin believed him.
Afterward, the way he looked at Yu Zhi grew gentler and more affectionate.
“Actually, you were overthinking it. You really didn’t need to worry so much. Plenty of people are open to new things. I’m not an old-fashioned, stubborn person.”
Yu Zhi smiled and nodded. “Thank you for understanding.”
Sang Xiyin curled his lips into a teasing smile. “Putting everything else aside, I can certainly tell how much you respect me. You were so nervous the first time we met that you even lied to me.”
Yu Zhi found it difficult to smile. In the end, he simply let his expression settle into stillness.
His feelings were complicated, and he didn’t know how to respond to Sang Xiyin’s words.
Seeing that Yu Zhi had grown even quieter than before, Sang Xiyin assumed he had accidentally touched on something that made the young man uncomfortable. Wanting to make amends and comfort him, he thought it over. His eyes darkened for a moment, but soon cleared again, and his gentle, unhurried voice slowly broke the silence.
“Xiao Yu, I don’t mind your sexual orientation, because I think I’m probably the same as you.” He gave a helpless, rueful smile and sighed. “If I had a lover…”
Yu Zhi stopped what he was doing and couldn’t help looking up at him. “Mr. Sang, do you mean…”
Since he had already brought it up, Sang Xiyin no longer hesitated. He spoke frankly. “I mean that I’m probably gay, too.”
Yu Zhi frowned slightly, then relaxed his expression before asking, “If you’ve never had a lover, how did you come to that realization?”
Perhaps Yu Zhi was simply someone he found easy to look at. Or perhaps it was that strange feeling of security and attachment he felt around him. Whatever the reason, Sang Xiyin slowly began to explain.
“Because, for many years now, I’ve often dreamed of a figure. He’s a man…”
“It’s only a dream,” Yu Zhi said, his voice slightly strained. His low tone carried a trace of restraint, as though he were suppressing something. “You don’t need to dwell on it.”
Could this be why he had spent half his life suffering from the pain of longing?
It’s only a dream…
And yet, even a dream could be enough to keep someone longing for half a lifetime.
Yu Zhi closed his eyes briefly and turned his head away from Sang Xiyin, unwilling to look at him and unwilling to let him see his own expression.
“Once might be understandable, but when it happens a second time, a third time, and then countless times, you can’t help dwelling on it, no matter how hard you try not to,” Sang Xiyin said in a gentle, casual tone.
Over the years, he had never told anyone about this apart from a few close friends and relatives. Now that he had finally spoken about it, he found that it wasn’t quite as difficult to bring up as he had expected.
“Perhaps I was young back then. I still foolishly hoped that the person in my dreams might become real. I kept feeling that he truly existed and that he would appear before me at any moment.” He spoke with an amused smile, as though he found his younger self rather ridiculous.
Unfortunately, he had searched for a long time, only to come up empty-handed.
Both the way he said back then and his use of the word foolishly made it clear that he no longer held on to that hope.
A faint, lingering ache suddenly pierced Yu Zhi’s heart, like a fine needle pricking him gently. The pain was slight and brief, so fleeting that he might almost have mistaken it for an illusion. But the strange sensation that followed, both painful and tingling, as though it itched beneath the skin made it impossible to ignore.
Yu Zhi placed the pruning shears on the table and tilted his head slightly. He looked at Sang Xiyin with deep, tranquil eyes, like a secluded moon shining quietly beneath the shadows of trees in the dead of night.
“…What if he came?”
Sang Xiyin raised his head, and their eyes met. Their gazes locked. In a dusky forest, a quiet, secluded moon shone through the deepening shadows. The evening breeze stirred, leaving the still air cool and peaceful.
Yu Zhi took two steps forward. He looked at Sang Xiyin intently and asked again, this time without the slightest hesitation.
“What if he came?”
====================
![The Return of The Lord God[quick wear]](https://i2.wp.com/knoxt.space/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/007S8ZIlly1ghl04hyuxyj30hs0owwgu.jpg?resize=85,105 "The Return of The Lord God[quick wear]")
Black lotus On DCHHLT Chapter 12