TSMITB Chapter59

It was still spring when Shen Que entered the mountain, but it was already high summer when he came out again.

Shen Que was slumped in a chaise longue in the first-floor living room, looking out the window with little expression.

The garden, maintained by specialists, was ablaze with flowers; including roses and hydrangeas of various colors bloomed vividly.

In the corner near the courtyard wall, a small cleared space was created, with a small platform built from treated wood. A swing set was swaying slightly in the scorching sun.

Shen Que had hired someone to build it on a whim a few days ago. He didn’t know where the obsession came from, but he just felt that there should be a swing set among the flowers and plants, so he could sit on it and look at the stars and moon in the dead of night.

In reality, stars could barely be seen in the city anymore. When he looked up, he mostly saw the empty, vast sky, and the moonlight was also hazy, unable to clearly penetrate the night.

Shen Que was the only person in the large villa. On the day he returned from E’yun Mountain, he gave all the maids and drivers time off.

The TV behind him was randomly playing a travel variety show. Male and female celebrities laughed unrestrainedly on the streets of a foreign land, and cheerful background sounds occasionally drifted out, adding a touch of vitality to the empty house.

It had been almost half a month since he left E’yun Mountain, but Shen Que still hadn’t emerged from the shadow named Sheng Qixiao.

His heart and mind had completely slipped out of his control. The more he warned himself not to think about him, the more everything related to Sheng Qixiao played back in front of his eyes with increasing intensity, leaving him no place to hide.

“Sheng Qixiao is truly harmful.” Shen Que muttered to himself through gritted teeth.

The vine-shaped bracelet on his wrist was ultimately not removed. It had been warmed by the heat of his body as it rested against his skin.

He had originally called in a specialist with the proper tools to cut it off, but just before the pliers could touch the bracelet, he changed his mind and decided to keep it.

His delicately traced the winding patterns on the bracelet with his fingertips, and his thoughts uncontrollably reverted, floating back to the day he finally left.

The journey back that day was silent all the way. After leaving the mountain, the few of them directly boarded the helicopter that had been poised and ready.

Shen Que looked through the porthole, overlooking the mountains receding below. The place that had imprisoned him, and where he had briefly fallen, was ultimately reduced to only a blurred outline.

By the time he returned to the old house, the sun had already burned half the sky red.

Old Master Shen was sitting in a wheelchair while looking gaunt with sunken eyes. They hadn’t seen each other for only a month or two, yet time seemed to have etched over a decade’s worth of marks onto him.

Shen Que was seated in a wheelchair as well. The old man and the young man faced each other in silence, separated by three or five steps. The scene was momentarily a bit comical.

The old man’s face, etched with the deep ravines of time, showed not the slightest hint of happiness at Shen Que’s return. His dust-covered eyes were much cloudier, and the worry and guilt that he couldn’t voice were suppressed deep in his eyes, making them indistinct.

His heart inexplicably skipped two beats. Shen Que keenly sensed that his return did not seem to be something they had been expecting.

He shook his head, trying to shake off those absurd thoughts, then pulled at the corners of his mouth, trying to force out a stiff smile, “I’m back, old man.”

Old Master Shen suddenly bent over, covering his mouth with a handkerchief, and coughed violently, only stopping after a long while.

He gasped for breath, straightening himself with the nanny’s help as tears welled up in the corners of his eyes.

“It’s good… it’s good that you’re back.” He said hoarsely, his voice carrying exhaustion and an inexpressible complexity.

After his breathing steadied, he turned his face toward Old Qiu and the others, “Does he not know yet?”

Old Qiu lowered his head wurg his hands behind his back clenched into fists, “There wasn’t time to tell him.”

“He will have to know sooner or later.” The old man waved his hand, his sigh landing like a withered leaf, “Go find your older brother. He’s waiting for you in his room. I asked Aunt Liu to prepare the dishes you love.”

“Come down to eat later. If, by then, you are still willing to stay.”

Shen Que nodded slowly. The old man’s last sentence was like some kind of wicked prophecy, causing the smile on his face to completely fade.

He suddenly thought of the elders in the village who gained longevity by relying on Sheng Qixiao’s blood, and for a moment, they seemed to partially overlap with the old man in front of him.

Shen Que didn’t know how he was pushed into the elevator or how he arrived at the door of Shen Yi’s bedroom.

He only knew that there seemed to be some huge secret waiting for him within the room before him.

The bedroom door opened without a sound. The room remained unlit, with the heavy curtains still drawn, leaving the space especially dim.

Shen Yi was half-reclining against the headboard, his body looking gaunt and his face pale from having gone so long without sunlight. He looked somewhat better than before Shen Que left, but was still haggard. The dark circles under his eyes were heavy, but his gaze was unusually clear.

A laptop was placed on a small side table, its screen still lit. He was perhaps working just before Shen Que came in.

“Ge.” Shen Que called out softly.

The hand Shen Yi rested outside the quilt twitched nervously. He raised his eyes, the whites of them crisscrossed with dense red blood vessels like a spiderweb, nearly startling Shen Que.

The Shen Yi in Shen Que’s memory was tall and handsome, with sharp and spirited eyes, completely different from the man before him now.

“You’re back.”

Shen Yi raised his hand and turned on the light. Warm light instantly filled the whole room, but Shen Que always felt it wasn’t as bright as in his memory. He moved himself to the bedside. Before he could even voice a word of concern, Shen Yi’s words stopped him in his tracks, leaving him with no chance to say it.

Shen Yi didn’t give him any time to ease into the situation, seeming unable to wait even a moment longer.

“How have you been these past days… How did that person treat you? I heard you seem to have some feelings for him?”

Shen Que blinked, not understanding the point of the question. Wasn’t it obvious how he had been?

As for liking him, Shen Que didn’t refute it, “It was alright, he’s good-looking.”

The heavy expression on Shen Yi’s face froze for a moment. It took a while for him to find his voice again, “If you like him, then what I’m about to say might make you very sad.”

He tiredly rubbed his glabella as if having made some kind of decision, “But even if you don’t like him, it won’t be much better either. Shen Que, you might hate Grandpa and me, but this whole thing…”

“Just say it directly. Hesitating isn’t your style.”

“Do you still remember the Master we found?” Shen Yi stared intently into Shen Que’s eyes, not missing a single change in his expression. “He was sent by Sheng Qixiao.”

The unease that had risen since landing finally found its place at this moment.

Shen Que even let out a sigh of relief, “I thought it was something serious…”

“From the moment I was poisoned by the Gu, we fell into the trap he set for you,” Shen Yi deftly directed the focus elsewhere. “The ‘Master’ said that Sheng Qixiao could cure my Gu, and the condition was that you had to go into the mountain.”

“Sheng Qixiao cannot leave the mountain. The additional condition was that someone needed to escort you into the mountain to ensure that you were delivered to him unharmed.”

“…What are you talking about? It’s getting more and more ridiculous!” Shen Que’s first reaction was that Shen Yi had also gone mad. He tightly gripped the wheels, barely controlling himself from backing away. “Are you crazy? I haven’t heard that lousy Gu can cause mental disorders. Have you been away from sunlight for too long and are calcium deficient?”

“Shen Que.” Shen Yi’s gaze towards him was exceptionally heavy with no trace of jest at all. “I’m sorry. Every word I’m saying right now is true.”

“So, Old Qiu and the others already knew?”

“Ah Chao and Gang Zi only found out after they came out. Old Qiu… he has known all along.”

Shen Que’s vision went blank for a moment. Shen Yi’s voice seemed to come from a remote place underwater; every syllable was elongated and distorted, hitting his ears and leaving only a dizzying hum.

His back was pressed tightly against the wheelchair. In front of him were his closest family members, but in the minute-long silence after the words fell, Shen Que only felt as if he had been sucked into an empty, pitch-black vortex, perhaps about to be torn apart in the next second.

He frowned as he watched Shen Yi’s lips move, opening and closing as though he had said something else, yet Shen Que couldn’t hear a single sound. His whole being slowly stilled, as if something within his body had been suddenly extracted, leaving only a hollow shell.

Shen Yi had been monitoring his reaction, and he added dryly, “I, too, only found out after I recovered…”

“I know.”

Shen Que quickly calmed down. He could roughly guess when Shen Yi found out.

The night he and Sheng Qixiao ended their cold war, Sheng Qixiao had, for the first time, used a fluorescent butterfly to project a cross-space image before him, only to quickly cut the connection off.

At the time, he didn’t pay attention, only immersed in the joy of Shen Yi’s recovery, subconsciously ignoring the interrupted conversation due to the image disappearing.

So that was what the old man’s phrase, “That was his choice,” meant.

Shen Que lowered his head and stared at his legs, which still could not support him standing, momentarily at a loss for how to react.

A bone-chilling coldness spread from his heart, reaching his limbs and body, almost freezing him completely along with his unusually active thoughts.

So, that’s how it was.

He had always thought he was the one who betrayed and let others down. He had used Sheng Qixiao, used everything at his disposal, all for the sake of saving his critically ill family member.

In the end, he was the pawn who was most thoroughly utilized.

But he didn’t let slip the loophole in Shen Yi’s words, “He wouldn’t do something like this for no reason. We were strangers.”

Shen Yi gave a wry smile while looking at him with complex eyes, “You went into the mountain four years ago, have you forgotten?”

Four years ago.

Many blurry images flashed in Shen Que’s mind. They were parts sealed deep within his memory. He felt a strong dizziness. Fragments of memory rapidly rearranged themselves in his mind, yet they remained broken and disjointed.

The only thing he could think of was that Sheng Qixiao had said he saved another person before and eventually sent him away.

Was that person him?

Shen Yi saw his doubt, “I’m not clear about the specific situation. Didn’t he tell you anything?”

“No.”

Shen Que’s thoughts were unprecedentedly chaotic, but the answer was actually obvious. It was just that he refused to give up; he still wanted a clearer answer.

“So, Grandpa made a deal with him by using me to exchange for your life, is that right?”

“Yes,” Shen Yi answered very frankly. “I let you down. You went through all this because of me.”

Shen Que’s eyes felt sore. He just felt some difficulty breathing, but he held back. “I can understand Grandpa’s way of thinking. If he had to choose between you and me, I’d probably choose you too. But…” Shen Que shook his head, “Does this count as betrayal? If you had told me the truth, you know I would have gone willingly.”

Rationally speaking, he was not unable to understand the old man’s choice. Shen Yi was the most suitable heir to the Shen family, the one he had poured all his heart and effort into cultivating.

But emotionally, there was still the pain of being deceived and used by the people closest to him, of being treated like an object to be bartered away…

That really freaking sucks.

He suddenly found himself understanding Sheng Qixiao’s earlier anger a little better.

“I’m sorry, Little Fool.” Shen Yi sat up, reached out a hand wanting to touch him, but stopped mid-air, and finally lowered it in vain.

Shen Que’s expression was cold, a look he had never shown in front of his family before.

“Don’t call me that,” he said. “Shen Yi, actually, your real purpose for telling me all this today wasn’t just to apologize to me, was it? We grew up together. You understand me; but don’t I understand you?”

Shen Yi’s pale face instantly became even more deathly silent.

“You rushed to tell me all this right after I came back, merely because you were afraid that if I found out from somewhere else later, the rift between us would be even greater.”

Shen Que’s tone had little fluctuation; his calm demeanor was exactly like a certain person he desperately tried to escape from. “And incidentally, to heavily trample Sheng Qixiao, pushing all the blame onto him as much as possible.”

“This way, Grandpa’s action becomes an unavoidable move, and I can only hate the instigator, preferably taking Grandpa completely out of this matter, forcing me to understand and not be able to resent him.

“Because in your heart, family harmony far surpasses my personal emotional feelings.”

“I’m just afraid that you might be bewitched by him, and I want you to recognize what kind of person he is. I’m doing this for your own good.” Shen Yi tried hard to explain, but his voice grew softer and softer under Shen Que’s gaze. “I just don’t want your future normal life to be affected because of him.”

“So that way, you won’t feel so guilty, is that right?” Shen Que manipulated the wheelchair towards the door. “That’s a bit redundant, Shen Yi. You’ve always been good to me since we were young. We’re brothers. Mom said brothers should be united. It was right for me to save you. Grandpa was also right; he did try to stop me at the time, but I still went. I jumped into this willingly myself. This is my own choice.”

“Shen Que, haven’t you noticed that you’re directing all your criticism at us now, while deliberately leaving him out? Clearly, he’s the one who is most responsible.” Shen Yi’s unwilling voice came from behind.

Shen Que paused, “Indeed.”

But there was no helping it; he knew Sheng Qixiao was that kind of person. There was nothing surprising about him doing something like this.

So, subconsciously, Shen Que didn’t think he was wrong…

In the end, that final meal was never eaten.

Old Qiu and the others silently escorted Shen Que back to his own house.

After coming of age, he had moved out of the old family house, only returning on weekends or for important matters.

Old Qiu stood by the door, hesitating as though he had something to say. After lingering there for a long while, he finally managed only one sentence: “I’m sorry.”

“Why does everyone seem to be apologizing to me today? Is there anyone who can treat me right for once?” Shen Que took a deep breath, wanting to smile, but the corners of his mouth uncontrollably dropped. Finally, he stopped struggling and comforted them expressionlessly, “I don’t blame you. You wanted to take me with you in the end, but it really wasn’t possible. I couldn’t leave.”

He knew Old Qiu’s helplessness and his struggle, yet none of this could alleviate the heaviness in his heart.

“You all go back first.” He waved his hand, signaling them to leave. He needed to be alone, needed a space entirely his own to digest everything.

After they left, Shen Que sat in the center of the first-floor living room while gazing unfocused at everything around him.

The villa was cleaned every day, and everything was exactly as it had been when he left, but he just felt that something was subtly different.

An unfamiliar aura permeated the air, like an invisible layer of dust, covering everything he was once familiar with.

When he was with Sheng Qixiao, he had tried every possible way to come home.

Now that he was back, he found himself confronted with an even deeper, more difficult question; one that seemed to have no right answer at all.

Was this his home? Did he still have a home? Was the place he once thought was home truly his home?

He was stumped by his own questions, and belatedly felt a bit cold, so he turned to ask the nanny who had stayed by his side, “Is the air conditioning set too low?”

“It’s a normal temperature. Perhaps the temperature difference is too great since you just came back from outside.”

Shen Que nodded and said nothing else, simply pressing the elevator button to go upstairs. “Take half a month off, all of you. Don’t come back during that time. I’ll have someone transfer your wages to you in advance tomorrow. I just want to be alone and have some peace and quiet.”

“I’ll stay behind. You still need to eat.” The cooking aunt was a little worried seeing his lost, lifeless look.

Shen Que paused as if he hadn’t expected that the first genuine expression of concern after his return came from a person unrelated to him by blood.

He finally managed a smile. The frost in his eyes seemed to melt, and he spoke in a gentle tone, “No need, thank you. Your salary will be doubled starting next month. Enjoy your holiday.”

From beginning to end, his family had not asked a single question about his injuries or what he had gone through.

Shen Que’s gaze swept across a painting hanging in the corridor. It was a valuable gift from the Old Master, intended to inspire him to be a person of integrity and noble character.

He suddenly swung his arm out, knocking the painting off the wall. The frame and glass smashed onto the hard floor, making a loud, grating, shattering sound.

Today, at the old house, he had seen many of the things the old man referred to as “inferior things.”

Vulgar items that had never been qualified to step through the old house’s gate were now brazenly present in every corner.

Shen Que probably knew where those things came from. Most likely, they were unpresentable items sent by some illegitimate son kept outside by his tasteless, immoral father.

If it were in the past, he would have definitely made a scene, throwing out the people and the things.

But today, he truly lacked the energy.

He was even too lazy to wonder if those dirty things were secretly peeking behind the door, covetously eyeing him and everything belonging to the Shen family.

And so what if they were? Without his grandpa’s tacit approval, how could they have entered the house so openly?

Shen Que didn’t know whether he or Shen Yi was more pathetic.

Shen Yi was about to die, and his grandpa used him to exchange for a chance for Shen Yi to live.

But Shen Yi could also be replaced. The antidote had been delayed, so the old man had prepared a contingency plan long ago, allowing the “filth” he had once despised so deeply to serve and please him, while even intending to cultivate them as his new heirs.

Thinking about this, Shen Que laughed. This family was utterly ridiculous.

Shen Que suddenly missed the small building deep in the mountains.

There, he possessed the entirety of Sheng Qixiao.

That was the only time he had ever experienced such unreserved desire in his seemingly colorful yet ultimately barren life.

Sheng Qixiao is truly harmful. Shen Que repeated and chewed on this sentence again, pulling himself out of his memories.

Looking at the swing slowly swaying in the shadow beneath the courtyard wall, he suddenly realized that the fierce sun outside the window had, at some unknown point, dispersed into the evening glow filling the sky.

“Sheng Qixiao.” I think I miss you a little.