NB Chapter72

The first time I met Zhang Mingsheng, he was still a young man driving up the mountain to set off fireworks.

When I saw him again, he was driving his favorite car seeking death. In the crushed and deformed space, he clearly glanced at me, yet the moment I cried out his name, he closed his eyes as if he had already accepted death as his final destination.

Later, much later, he became Mr. Zhang, who was praised by everyone, while also playing the role of the defiant son standing against his grandfather. In public, he was impeccable, balancing hard work with an unrelenting drive to expand his influence and stake his claim. At home, he was gentle more often than not, speaking in a soft, measured voice. Had it not been for the disruptions I caused, those two children would likely have remained under his wing all along.

Only when he stepped into the elevator, only as he slowly drew nearer to me, only in those moments when he came to stand by my side, did everything draped over him; the gilded veneer and the night-suit alike, begin to fall away layer by layer. When our eyes met, I, too, was pulled out of the cocoon he had personally crafted.

I never understood him well enough.

I have reason to believe that he was simply looking for a few puppets to play an adult version of house from the beginning.

When did things begin to change? Was it when I realized that Zhang Mingsheng had his own perplexities? Only indifference can create madness with no breakthrough. Exactly when did he begin to care?

It is true that I was the one who saved Zhang Mingsheng back then; perhaps, over these eight years, Zhang Mingsheng slowly came back to life.

Inside the cramped secret room, Zhang Mingsheng found himself cornered by the kind of lowly pervert he would normally disdain. I could not tell whether what I felt was more schadenfreude or concern. But seeing him still in the mood to slowly bandage his wound, he must have kept a way out. I leaned back resignedly while forcing myself not to pass out.

I didn’t want to hold Zhang Mingsheng back.

After hearing my command, Zhang Mingsheng remained silent for a long time.

I nudged him gently with my elbow. “Talk to me. If you don’t start talking, I’m going to sleep. This is boring.”

“I’m thinking.” Zhang Mingsheng said. He shifted slightly, and before I could react, I was already leaning against him.

I didn’t struggle, nor did I press him further. I gave him time.

But his answer wasn’t exactly pleasant.

“I like guns.” He said dryly.

Exasperated and weak, I gave him a response just to save him some face, “And why is that?”

“Efficient, convenient, clean.” Zhang Mingsheng replied succinctly.

He was being sincere.

“And what else?” I let out a short laugh. “Don’t talk about weapons this time.”

The scene fell into silence again, so quiet that I could hear his breathing and the occasional electric hum of the chandelier. I felt as if the bulb might explode at any second.

Over the years, Zhang Mingsheng had always seemed effortlessly capable of handling anything. In my eyes, whether it was close combat or the collapse of the world itself, once he decided to confront something, he would not even flinch.

Yet, he couldn’t say what he liked.

“Trees,” Zhang Mingsheng said while pulling me a little closer. “Trees with tougher leaves.”

“Go on.”

He fell silent for a few seconds before continuing, “Eagles, pigeons, swallows. Anything that flies in the sky.”

Before I could speak, he added, “The sea. Not with big waves though, because I want to swim and dive.”

“Do you remember the way it looks right before it rains? Even though there are clouds in the sky, it’s still so bright.”

“The first time I rode a horse, I got thrown off. It had a vicious streak. I tamed it all by myself by going back week after week. By the time it finally gave in, it was worn out; and I was covered in bruises.”

“Once, while I was flipping through a picture book for her, she laughed. Back then, she only had two teeth.”

“When Xiao Yuan loses a game, he sneaks off to somewhere private to cry.”

“The return journey. Seeing the lights on in the house.”

“Ah Chao, Ah Chao?” He shook me gently, his icy hand touching my face.

In truth, I was already drifting off, my consciousness growing thinner and smaller. I shifted a bit to find a more comfortable position, refusing to let him notice. I said, “I’m listening. That’s not even close to a hundred things yet.”

“I’ll think of more.”

I sniffled, finally unable to help myself from confirming, “You… before you came here, you contacted Ah Hai, didn’t you?”

“No, I came on my own.” He lied on purpose, letting the truth seep through the cracks in his tone.

“What, are you scared?” Zhang Mingsheng asked in a low voice.

“Anyone would be scared. You messed up too, didn’t you? Are you telling me you’re not afraid?”

“I won’t be afraid. I won’t let someone like that enjoy themselves.”

“Fine.” I flicked it off as if I didn’t care. “Then we’ll just die here and turn into two skeletons in ten years.”

“We won’t.” Zhang Mingsheng said softly.

“Have you ever heard that joke?”

“Which one?”

“Many years from now, when the police find us and see our posture, they might think we were a pair who loved each other very much.”

Zhang Mingsheng laughed; I could hear the sound of it.

I, too, trembled with laughter in his arms.

“Then I hope it is Li Yi who finds us.” Zhang Mingsheng said, he was a truly petty man.

“No.” I closed my eyes, groggy and half-asleep as I refused him, turning my head to burrow deeper against his chest. “I can’t do that to him; I can’t make him watch me die in front of him again.”

The corners of my eyes turned damp, and a faint, itchy chill crept across my cheeks. I let a single tear fall, and it came to rest on the lapel of Zhang Mingsheng’s clothes.

“I’ve let down so many people.” I hid my face, my voice growing smaller and smaller. “You were right. I’ve never done well enough.”

The arm holding me tightened once more, so tight there was almost no gap between us. He leaned toward my ear and whispered, “Nothing will happen to you. I will get you out of here.”

“Nothing will happen to them either. I promise you.”

He was trembling, and his breathing had grown shallow and rapid.

I felt as though a cold, grim mountain was shuddering while leaning against his chest.

“Mingsheng,” I asked, led by intuition, “How exactly did you die? Was it I who killed you?”

“Yes.” Zhang Mingsheng’s tone was light as if he were joking. “I died at your hands. My death was so painful, so miserable. That pain reappears from time to time, torturing me in every single instance. You can rest easy.”

“I won’t regret it,” I said. “I have never felt that I owed you an apology.”

I gasped, the heavy, dull pain of the wound dragging my consciousness toward a void.

I heard him say, “I know. In truth, I don’t regret it either; I never have.”

He laid me down on the floor, his movements incredibly gentle.

I squinted and saw him walk toward the table where the murder weapons were laid out.

Under the chandelier, he seemed to pick up an axe.

Lying there, I thought I heard his voice again; wavering, ethereal, and distant.

He said, “My luck has never been very good, Ah Chao. I know in my heart that we were never really meant to be.”

“So, I will find my own way, even if it’s a way you don’t like.”

No.

I struggled to move my tongue and mouth, but I couldn’t hear my own voice.

No.

My field of vision grew narrower and narrower until it turned into total darkness.

No!

I shot upright, my heart pounding so violently it felt as if it might burst out of my chest. In front of me was a stark, plain white that made my head spin the moment I looked at it.

A figure flashed past my eyes, running and shouting, “Doctor! Doctor!”

Immediately after, someone seemed to grab my hand.

I turned my head and met Shanshan’s eyes in confusion.

Her hands were cold, and she was pressing down firmly on my hand where the IV was inserted.

The IV bag above my head was swaying from where I had jerked it.

The curtains were blue, but they failed to keep all the light out.

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