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FCC Chapter 37.1

Large-scale social death and cub-stealing incident

“Honey1Original Term: Baozhi, I’m sending you a video,check it out right away!! I promise it’ll be a surprise!”

“Ah, you mean the Kleist recruitment video? I’ve watched it hundreds of times already!! You idiot, have you forgotten my little sister is starting school this year?”

 

Even on the streets, you could occasionally overhear conversations like this, and that wind-chime-like opening melody is almost instantly getting stuck in your head amid the soaring hype.

From the afternoon until late into the evening, nearly every family on Imperial Star with a little cub about to start kindergarten was keeping a close eye on the latest news from Kleist.

Even some families without young children were scrolling through Kleist’s recruitment video.

 

Not only did people learn that Kleist Kindergarten was actually located in the picturesque Elf Forest, but they also instantly fell in love with that little elf-like cutie.

As for the guardians’ interview—a special bonus feature set to air at the top of the hour—people flocked to watch it, regardless of whether they had a child of their own or not.

Almost everyone was in complete agreement: they were going to stay glued to the screen to catch a glimpse of the luckiest parent in the entire universe!!!

 

[Aaaah~~ Kleist, you’re so cruel! Hurry up and start already—my legs are killing me from crouching~~ We office drones just want a little dose of cuteness every day, waaaah]

[Whoa, what’s going on with the person above? They don’t even have a kid applying for school, yet they’re crouching with us? I’m really curious what that parent is thinking.]

[No kidding. I, the Space Pirate, am currently in another galaxy, and I’m still waiting too [Scarred Cool Face Smile]]

 

[??? Space Pirate!!! [Terrified Face]]

[????? Help! The little one’s in danger!?]

[@Kleist@Kleist!! You better protect your little one, QAQ]

 

Since the video screen is still black, people from all over the galaxy decided to chat via bullet comments while also sharing their coordinates—and to everyone’s surprise, all sorts of random coordinates started popping up.

 

They even got a true space pirate!?

 

Even though everyone was talking about stealing the little one, when this terrifying space pirate actually showed up, it still caused a huge commotion, though it is unknown if it’s real or not.

 

[Seriously, I don’t believe it’s a real space pirate. Didn’t that guy who tried to sneak into the sign-up this morning look like a space pirate? For the little one’s sake, I’d even switch to being a space pirate myself [cool]]

[Holy crap, are you crazy??? Alright, then remember to take me along—a cold-blooded space pirate, stealing cubs online!]

[Grab the little ones and run, roaming the stars~ Let’s just form a space pirate gang!]

[Space Pirate No. 1, signing up!]

[Hey, hey, hey, aren’t you guys being a little too brazen??? The parents are about to come out, are you actually going to pull a space pirate stunt right here??? [Shocked]]

 

Although Imperial Star’s public safety has always ranked among the best in the galaxy—especially with the Dragon Clan’s “High Order” situated at the very top of Imperial Star—it’s practically impossible for any space pirate to dare approach it!

The space pirates who once ran rampant have long since become entertainment icons symbolizing romance and adventure in all kinds of movies and TV shows.

However, ever since the first “Space Pirate No. 1” signed up, the entire comment stream was flooded with a dense barrage of sign-ups, and the numbers skyrocketed to four or even five digits almost instantly!

 

It was as if every space pirate in the entire universe had gathered in the comment section at that very moment!

 

“Grandpa, what’s going on here? How did space pirates sneak in??”

“Yeah, this is so scary—so many space pirates!? Is it that chaotic outside the Forest of the Elves right now? Humans really are evil!”

“Should we bring that little cub into the forest? I really want to protect him!”

 

Meanwhile, inside the Forest of the Elves, a group of elves—in a rare sight—were sitting under a large tree, chattering away as they watched the giant open-air light screen together.

After all, every elf had heard that this year, thanks to Principal Sylvester’s brand-new initiative, the entire galaxy was said to have fallen head over heels for the charm of the Elf Forest!!

To get a good look at just how the whole galaxy had fallen in love with the Elf Forest, naturally everyone had to gather together to watch!!

 

After all, Kleist had been failing to recruit students for several years now!

The only thing they hadn’t expected was that, even though they’d originally intended to see how humans were captivated by the Forest of Elves, by the time the recruitment video reached its conclusion, all the little elves couldn’t help but start doting on the little one!

 

“After all, that little one is just too cute!! I absolutely won’t let him be stolen! Grandpa, hurry up and contact the principal to look into this!!”

 

Lida was so anxious that her twin ponytails were bouncing up and down; she was practically forcing her grandpa to contact the principal right away.

“Oh, Lida, what on earth are you thinking… No space pirate could ever steal this little one, don’t worry.”

 

The old man, who was also sitting in the garden watching the screen for the interview to start, sighed. He had clearly learned some details from Sylvester.

 

“I even suspect this is just Sylvester’s twisted sense of humor. He’s loved pulling stunts like this since he was a kid!”

 

However, seeing her grandfather so calm and composed, Lida still felt her frustration mounting.

 

“But how can we know for sure without investigating?? With so many people claiming to be space pirates, what if there are one or two real ones among them!?”

 

“So what if one or two are real?”

“Then don’t worry, they’ll probably be arrested by that person as soon as the interview video ends.”

 

……???

“Pfft—What? Space pirates?!”

 

In the principal’s office, Sylvester immediately spit out the tea in his mouth and, for the first time, burst into laughter, clutching his stomach in a most ungraceful manner.

 

“Hahaha, A-Amos, did the recorded video get stuck and not play?? I’m dying of laughter!”

“……Principal, it was indeed due to a traffic overload, causing a few minutes’ delay, but please don’t forget your identity as an elf.”

 

Amos silently watched the principal, who was now laughing so hard he was sprawled face-down on the desk, and suddenly felt that his silver hair and good looks were truly a waste on their principal.

 

 

“Hurry up, hurry up!! Don’t let it freeze up at the crucial moment, it makes our recruitment look unprofessional!! Get it done quickly!”

 

“…”

 

With all this rushing, what exactly are you expecting???

 

Just as the comment section was in an uproar, the video screen finally lit up!!

 

[Holy shit! It’s starting, it’s starting!! You bunch of fake Star Pirates, stop counting already, don’t block my view of the little ones!!!]

[It’s finally started, damn it, but it’s still lagging like hell. I suggest we just kick out some of those single folks who don’t have little ones to enroll at home!]

[That’s a bit much, discriminating against singles? I don’t have a cub at home right now, but I’m about to snag one. Just let me figure out where to go [lol]]

 

A magnificent piece of music began to play, and the golden Kleist Academy crest in the center of the video shone as brightly as ever. After an entire afternoon of staring at it, many viewers were practically numb!

 

It was a classic case of explosive marketing.

 

“Hello everyone, welcome to the Kleist Interview Studio! Today we’ll be interviewing the mysterious cub’s guardian to hear why they chose Kleist…”

 

Standing in the elegantly decorated campus reception hall, the host briefly introduced the background of the interview to the camera, making a point to slip in plenty of Kleist advertisements.

However, it was obvious that the entire live-comment section was listening half-heartedly.

 

[Holy crap, everyone, look at the table to the host’s left!! Is that Zai Zai flying all over the place???]

 

Soon, someone with nothing better to do spotted the scene not far behind the host.

 

[Looks like it really is!! Can the host wrap this up already? I’ve got to get back to work! So Zai Zai is actually on camera with his guardian for this interview! What a score!! Totally worth hiding in the bathroom to watch this, hahaha!]

[Waaah, the more I watch, the more jealous I get. Is he just clinging to his guardian and acting all cute? I want that too—I want it!! Can you please give me your little one?]

[What kind of useless freeloader is that person above??? If they won’t give it to you, why don’t you become a Star Pirate and go steal it yourself? [dog face] These days, even Star Pirates work harder than you!]

 

 


 

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    Original Term: Baozhi

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