AFMWDX Chapter 31

TL: Hua

The alcohol continued to ferment in his blood. Both cards felt like hot potatoes. In the limited time he had, Yu Qingtang performed a detailed analysis of each.

In terms of embarrassment, the “Abs” card only required Xu Baizhang to face it alone; as for the “Passionate Kiss,” both of them would have to bear the burden together.

Yu Qingtang wasn’t as uninhibited as the others; being watched by so many people while kissing was truly embarrassing. But he didn’t want to leave Xu Baizhang to face it alone. Besides, he hadn’t even seen his Dr. Xu’s abs yet.

Wait a minute.

Yu Qingtang’s train of thought stalled for half a second. He should have abs, right?

In the four months they had been married, Yu Qingtang had seen his firm arm muscles and the smooth lines of his shoulders and back, but he had never paid attention to his abdomen. Regardless, he wasn’t willing to share that sight with colleagues.

Yu Qingtang made a snap decision. “Let’s go with the second one.”

[A One-Minute Passionate Kiss]

The little drunkards around them started gasping and hooting, their eyes wide with excitement. He hadn’t realized before just how “wicked” they could be.

Considering everyone worked so hard usually, it was fine to let them be a little mischievous during this rare moment of relaxation. Besides, Yu Qingtang was also a little curious about what Dr. Xu tasted like today.

“Alright,” Xu Baizhang said, pulling away the card on his right. “We’ll choose the first one.”

[Beer, Poker, and Abs]

Yu Qingtang: “…”

Did I say it wrong, or did he hear me wrong?

The discussion was over before it started; Xu Baizhang stood firm on his choice.

The crowd waited with bated breath. Someone was in charge of cheering, someone was pouring the beer, and someone else thoughtfully turned the heater up to full blast.

Xu Baizhang loosened his tie and suddenly asked him, “Will you help me take it off?”

The screams almost took the roof off. Yu Qingtang’s pores constricted as if tiny cotton balls were rubbing against them.

Is this man fanning the flames, or is he flirting with me?

Xu Baizhang took off his suit jacket himself, leaving the rest to him.

The lotus-pink cotton shirt was a custom piece from an international luxury brand. Last New Year’s Eve, when Yu Qingtang was broadcasting the evening news, he had worn the exact same model.

The host’s wardrobe was provided by sponsors, and this brand had cooperated with the provincial TV station for years; Yu Qingtang liked their style and cut. Not just this outfit, but most of Xu Baizhang’s suits were the same models Yu Qingtang had worn—a sort of silent, secret synchronicity.

Yu Qingtang toyed with the edge of the tie, draped it over Xu Baizhang’s shoulder, and reached for the hem of the shirt tucked into the waistband. He gripped the buttons, undoing them one by one from the bottom up, stopping at the fourth one from the top.

“Teacher Yu, you haven’t finished unbuttoning it.”

“Why aren’t you opening it all the way?”

Yu Qingtang: “This is enough.”

There was no need for the little drunkards to see his chest as well.

Yu Qingtang grabbed the corners of the shirt and pulled them aside.

His breath hitched. The excitement trapped in his throat flared up like a series of small flames.

Yu Qingtang was a lover of voices and didn’t have specific requirements for physique, but Xu Baizhang’s abs made his heart skip a beat.

Eight perfectly defined blocks were tightly packed on his lower abdomen, looking as disciplined and rigorous as the man himself.

Liking it was one thing, but he wasn’t going to join his colleagues in hooting and hollering. It would be ridiculous to fangirl over his own husband’s abs in front of others.

Yu Qingtang pulled both sides of the shirt open and let Xu Baizhang hold them up.

He glanced at the glass being handed to him and didn’t take it. The liquor was chilled with ice. “You’re doing this on purpose; you want to freeze my husband.”

“Oooooh!”

“Aiyo!”

“Teacher Yu is feeling protective!”

Yu Qingtang took a room-temperature beer instead, dipped his fingertips in it, and touched Xu Baizhang’s abs.

The skin was warmer than his fingertips. The muscles had a perfect, resilient texture. He touched them again, sliding his finger two centimeters across—as if he were inspecting precious fabric in a textile shop.

Yu Qingtang changed his mind. Now, he didn’t just like the voice; he liked his husband’s abs even more.

The onlookers teased, “Teacher Yu, why are you still touching him?”

Yu Qingtang replied with an air of righteous confidence, “I’m touching my husband. Is there a problem?”

“Eeeeee!”

“Teacher Yu, have mercy on us single dogs!”

“Exactly, I’m stuffed full of this dog food already!”

Yu Qingtang didn’t take the bait. He dipped his fingers in the beer again and, emboldened by his “husband rights,” slid them up and down twice more.

Just as he was about to go for a third round, his hand was caught by Xu Baizhang. “That’s enough. Let’s start.”

Yu Qingtang pursed his lips, catching a glimpse of the redness on Xu Baizhang’s neck out of the corner of his eye, feeling secretly happy. With a reaction this big, is he sensitive or just ticklish? Or maybe both.

Yu Qingtang picked up the card that read [Beer, Poker, and Abs] and wiped the side that would touch the skin with a wet wipe.

“I’m starting. Get ready to time us.”

“Teacher Yu, do you want to do a trial run first?”

Xu Baizhang’s abs were very well-defined, and his skin was clean and smooth, meaning there was very little friction. Combined with the fact that the card was made of high-quality, thick cardstock, keeping it there for sixty seconds would not be easy.

“No need.” Yu Qingtang found the right spot, pressed down on the sides of the card, and stuck it vertically onto Xu Baizhang’s abdomen. “No one knows my husband’s abs better than I do.”

Yu Qingtang’s touch just now wasn’t just for the feel; he also wanted to test which muscle was more flexible and could grip the card more easily.

The vertically placed poker card was caught perfectly in the groove between two abdominal muscles. As long as the other person had a strong core, this would be very easy.

His little trick was quickly discovered.

“That’s not sticking it on; that’s pinching it, right?”

“Teacher Yu is so calculating!”

“Hey! You can’t do that!”

“Isn’t that a foul?”

“You didn’t say it wasn’t allowed before,” Yu Qingtang said with reason and evidence. “How is it a foul? Isn’t the card staying on just fine?”

No one could find a reason to object. It was all Dr. Xu’s abs’ fault for being too impressive; everyone silently agreed to let the game continue.

A minute felt longer than expected. Everyone’s gaze lingered on Xu Baizhang’s lower abdomen, and some had already pulled out their phones.

Yu Qingtang stepped forward, pressing himself against Xu Baizhang to block everyone else’s view. “No photos.”

A few jeers followed, shouting about how possessive Teacher Yu was, and they silently tucked their phones away.

Yu Qingtang turned back, switched hands, and helped lift both sides of Xu Baizhang’s shirt. “Twenty seconds left. Hold on a bit longer.”

Xu Baizhang didn’t let go of his grip either. He followed the back of Yu Qingtang’s hand and covered it with his own, his fingertip gently brushing Yu Qingtang’s ring finger. “Mm.”

The countdown ended, and the playing card was still firmly clamped between his abs.

The game was a success. Yu Qingtang took the card, wiped the skin clean with a wet wipe, and helped him re-button his clothes.

Before leaving, Yu Qingtang tucked the card they had used into his coat pocket. After saying goodbye to the colleagues, the two left the private room side by side.

The snow was falling harder and harder. Xu Baizhang held up an umbrella, and Yu Qingtang naturally hooked his arm. “I thought you’d choose the passionate kiss.”

Before this, Xu Baizhang had never opposed his opinions.

Xu Baizhang: “I didn’t like that option.”

Yu Qingtang tightened his grip on the man’s arm, feeling a bit chilled at heart.

Xu Baizhang: “Not going to ask why?”

Yu Qingtang: “If the reason is something I won’t like, I’d rather not hear it.”

Xu Baizhang: “Alright, then I won’t say it.”

Yu Qingtang: “…”

He was doing it on purpose. How maddening.

Yu Qingtang exhaled a puff of warm air. “Fine, you’ve piqued my curiosity. It couldn’t be that you didn’t want to kiss me, right?”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you; it’s that I didn’t want to be seen.”

Yu Qingtang laughed. “Oh, I almost forgot, our Dr. Xu is quite conservative.”

“It’s not being conservative. It’s jealousy.”

Yu Qingtang: “Jealous of what?”

Xu Baizhang: “Jealous of them looking at you.”

Yu Qingtang: “Okay… though that reason is a bit strange, I’ll accept it.”

“Qingtang.”

“Hmm?”

“Now, they’re all gone.” Xu Baizhang stopped in his tracks. “There’s no one left to make me jealous.”

Yu Qingtang reacted quickly, his heart tightening in a panic, like being strapped to a board on a high-altitude swing.

Xu Baizhang turned to face him directly. “According to the game rules, we have one minute.”

Yu Qingtang’s eyes wandered to the surroundings. “But, in front of us, behind us…”

Ahead was the parking lot, and behind was the road. On New Year’s in the busy district, there were pedestrians in groups of twos and threes on the crosswalk.

Xu Baizhang tilted the umbrella, easily shielding them both within its domed shelter, creating a hidden, private space. “Now, there’s no one.”

Yu Qingtang’s breath hitched, and snow splashed onto his exposed fingertips. “Baizhang, you… you really…”

His hand was pulled back, and his fingers, wet with melting snow, were guided onto the umbrella handle. Xu Baizhang said, “Hold it. Don’t let go.”

His lower back was pushed forward and then pulled tight; the third-to-last button of the coat pressed against his stomach. A warm palm cupped the back of his neck, and the heat of the man’s breath felt like a freshly baked cake.

Their noses brushed, their breaths mingling.

“One-minute countdown.”

“Qingtang, close your eyes.”

His vision blurred. Before the lenses pressed down on him, Yu Qingtang closed his eyes and, amidst the heavy snow, tasted him.

Xu Baizhang kissed lightly at first, just pecking at the edge of his lips, brushing against the lines of his mouth, teasingly hesitant.

The sensation was so tantalizing it was almost painful; Yu Qingtang parted his lips to respond.

“Mm… ah!”

In an instant, his mind felt like it exploded. A tongue darted in, sharp and sudden.

It seemed to catch the trace of alcohol in his mouth, acting like a potent shot of adrenaline.

The back of his head was held firm. Lips pressed down, completely prying his mouth open as the tongue pushed all the way in.

The heat in his mouth was searing—alcohol mixed with a hint of herbs, entangling with their lips and tongues.

Yu Qingtang held the umbrella with one hand while the other wrapped around the man’s neck, pulling their bodies tightly together.

Xu Baizhang had lost all his usual patience and gentleness; he used all his strength, as if trying to kiss Yu Qingtang into his own body.

Science shows that kissing engages thirty-four facial muscles, equivalent to a full-body aerobic workout; every minute of kissing burns approximately 6.4 calories.

Yu Qingtang didn’t know how much he had burned today, but in the heart of winter, he felt a genuine, scorching heat.

His tongue was sucked in and then pulled away; Yu Qingtang felt as though he was being drained of everything. He couldn’t keep up with his breathing, and his tongue felt numb and tight, yet the sensation was utterly addictive.

Finally, unable to catch his breath, Yu Qingtang pushed against the man’s chest to beg for mercy. “That’s enough… it’s been a minute.”

Xu Baizhang took back the umbrella that Yu was about to drop, wrapping a single arm around him to hold him steady.

He leaned down again, sealing Yu Qingtang’s lips once more. “I’ll be the one to decide if it’s enough.”

The snow grew heavy, then light; it fell, then stopped. The freezing weather embraced two burning people.

Yu Qingtang leaned into Xu Baizhang’s arms like a limp patient; without support, he wouldn’t have been able to stand.

He pursed his lips and thumped Xu Baizhang’s chest twice. “I was already dizzy from the drinks, and now look—you’ve kissed me until my legs are weak… unfair.”

Not just weak legs, but his head was spinning.

“Hold this.” Xu Baizhang handed over the umbrella and suddenly scooped him up in his arms.

Suspended in the air, Yu Qingtang felt even dizzier, like being on a roller coaster. “What are you doing? Put me down.”

“Aren’t your legs weak? I’ll carry you.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

Xu Baizhang ignored him and started walking. “You’re already like this anyway. Hold the umbrella well; don’t let the snow hit us.”

Yu Qingtang tightened his grip, hiding them both inside the umbrella’s shelter. He hooked his arms around Xu Baizhang’s neck, pressing his lips against the man’s skin. “I never noticed how bad you are before.”

Bad and overbearing.

Xu Baizhang carried him to the car, put him inside, and shook the snow off his pant legs. He turned on the heater. “Even if I’m bad, there are no returns.”

“I’m not returning you.”

The badder he was, the more he liked it.

Yu Qingtang was indeed dazed by the kiss. Even after they had been driving for a long time, he still hadn’t fully recovered. His legs were so weak they felt numb, his lips burned as if scorched by fire, and the tip of his tongue felt swollen, as if a ring of blisters had surfaced.

He had really been too forceful.

As the car headed toward home, Yu Qingtang kept his eyes closed, still trying to regain his composure.

The car was flagged down on the main road, and the window slowly rolled down. “Hello, please cooperate with our inspection.”

Yu Qingtang didn’t open his eyes; he assumed it was a routine DUI checkpoint.

During the Lunar New Year period, parties were constant and traffic accidents were frequent. Traffic police worked overtime in shifts, unable to put together a full holiday break.

He heard the sound of Xu Baizhang exhaling near his ear. Yu Qingtang tilted his head slightly, but in the next second, he heard an unexpected notification chime.

“I’m sorry, you have been drinking.”

It was the alert from the breathalyzer.

Yu Qingtang opened his eyes and turned his head. He and Xu Baizhang stared at each other in stunned silence.

They shared an awkward, sheepish smile as the realization finally dawned on them.

Now they were in trouble.

The traffic officer remained outside the window. “Comrade, please show your vehicle registration and driver’s license.”

Xu Baizhang hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol, but there was nothing wrong with the breathalyzer either. Neither of them tried to explain; the law had to be handled according to due process and evidence.

Xu Baizhang proactively handed over his documents. “I am requesting a follow-up blood test.”

The officer craned his neck and shouted into the distance, “Captain Feng, we’ve got another one here for a blood draw!”

“Tell him to come over; we’ll go together.”

Xu Baizhang unbuckled his seatbelt, turned the heater up a notch, and said to Yu Qingtang, “Do you want to take a taxi home first?”

“No, I’ll go with you for the blood test.”

Yu Qingtang still felt a bit drunk—the kiss had been a bit too heavy. Xu Baizhang felt a pang of self-reproach. “Don’t get out of the car; it’s cold outside.”

“Then I’ll wait for you here.”

The officer outside urged them, “Comrade, please step out of the vehicle and cooperate with our work.”

“Alright, you get some sleep. I’ll be back soon,” Xu Baizhang said, handing his water bottle to Yu Qingtang. “Call me if anything happens.”

Not far away, an older traffic officer shouted at the top of his lungs, “What’s going on over there? Why hasn’t he come down yet? If you won’t do the draw, then just accept the penalty.”

Yu Qingtang: “Go on, I’ll wait for you.”

The older officer gathered four people and took them to a designated hospital for blood tests. Sitting in the passenger seat, Xu Baizhang stared through the rearview mirror at his receding black car, his mind fixed on the person inside.

As the older officer gripped the steering wheel, he didn’t miss the chance to lecture the four of them. “Is that one drink really so necessary? What’s wrong with calling a designated driver? By doing this, you’re not just creating a safety hazard—you’re causing trouble for yourselves and your families.”

“It’s the New Year. Isn’t a family reunion and a safe journey better than anything else?”

Aside from Xu Baizhang, the other three people in the car could barely walk straight.

It wasn’t that they denied having drunk; they were just clinging to a stroke of luck, hoping the blood test results might downgrade them from “drunk driving” to “driving under the influence.” The former was a criminal offense, while the latter was a general illegal act subject to administrative penalty.

Seeing Xu Baizhang still staring at the rearview mirror, the old officer said, “Alright, you’re so far away now; what is there left to see?”

“You’re all so reluctant to part now, but why didn’t you think about that when you were drinking? You should be counting your lucky stars that we caught you early. If a real accident happened, it would be too late for regrets.”

“If you didn’t drink, we wouldn’t have to check, and everyone would save a lot of trouble.” The old officer sighed. “It’s a pity. There are just some people who don’t care, who aren’t responsible for their families, and who don’t cherish their own lives.”

Years ago, when Xu Baizhang was a medical resident doing his rotations, he used to handle blood draws for DUI cases. On his busiest day, the emergency department had received over sixty drunk drivers.

He never imagined that one day, he would be the one getting his blood drawn.

Once the old officer had talked himself out, Xu Baizhang finally asked, “Which hospital are we going to, and how long will the round trip take?”

The officer pointed ahead. “Right there. We’re almost there.”

Less than a hundred meters away, a white neon sign glowed through the wind and snow:

[Provincial Medical University Affiliated People’s Hospital]

Xu Baizhang: “…”