MGRMFL Chapter 16

The two of them stared at each other, and Yan Linjian felt as if he were sitting on pins and needles.

After leaving the dorm, he walked a full circle around the lake on campus, then went back to the dorm again. When he saw that Qi Jingzhi wasn’t there, he knew he had gone to the meetup. An indescribable tension wrapped around Yan Linjian. He dragged himself to the café, stood outside for a few minutes, then chickened out at the last second.

This had been his plan from the start. He would act as if he knew nothing when interacting with Qi Jingzhi, then stand him up when they met!

All to get back at him for using an alt account to deceive him.

However, Yan Linjian spent an hour in a nearby bookshop. Seeing that Qi Jingzhi hadn’t come out of the café and hadn’t messaged him either, the image of him waiting alone overlapped with the way he waited for him in the game. Yan Linjian’s conscience finally struck, so he came.

He came on impulse, without thinking, and that led to this awkward scene between them now.

They sat facing each other for a long time. Qi Jingzhi was the first to break the silence: “I thought you weren’t coming.”

His tone was steady, with a trace of relief in it.

Yan Linjian’s mouth moved faster than his brain: “Then what are you still waiting here for?”

Qi Jingzhi lifted his eyes, glancing at him like a child who had done something wrong: “I was gambling on whether you’d go soft on me.”

“Heh.” Yan Linjian gritted his teeth. The awkwardness and uneasiness that built up these past few days turned into a fist of anger that landed hard on Qi Jingzhi’s shoulder, “You lied to me. You actually dared to lie to me!”

Qi Jingzhi clutched his shoulder, wincing in pain, yet the crease between his brows eased and a faint smile spread across his lips.

With the light behind him, his face flickered between light and dark. He smiled until his eyes were almost closed, looking a bit foolish.

“You still dare to laugh!”

After scolding him with a frown, Yan Linjian couldn’t help laughing too. The awkwardness had gone on so long that it didn’t feel that awkward anymore.

He only laughed for a few seconds before straightening his face again: “Aren’t you going to explain? Why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t mean to lie to you…” Qi Jingzhi let out a soft sigh, “I just didn’t expect you to suddenly make that kind of request. I wasn’t prepared at all and acted on impulse.”

Yan Linjian hesitated for two seconds, then asked the question that had been bothering him all this time: “You knew who I was from the start?”

Qi Jingzhi blinked: “Yes.”

“When did you find out?”

“Earlier than you think. Linjian, the first time I met you was when I was fourteen.”

Yan Linjian did the maths. Qi Jingzhi was eighteen now. Four years ago, he had been in his first year of high school. That was when the two of them were dating online…

“You…” Yan Linjian’s eyes widened. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember when they had ever met.

Did Qi Jingzhi monitor his computer webcam?

Qi Jingzhi smiled, already expecting this reaction. He said casually: “And started liking you from that year onwards.”

“From the high school entrance exam to applying for the youth program, I focused everything on getting in. Just so I could go to the same university as you. I originally thought it would be enough if we were just in the same school, but then you chose computer science, and we just happened to end up in the same class. I even thought it was a blessing from above…”

He suddenly fell silent. He lowered his head and stared intently at the strawberry pudding in front of him. The air around him dropped all at once.

Yan Linjian’s throat tightened: He started dating after he entered university.

“Back then, I didn’t know that you were…”

“It’s fine. I was the one who didn’t tell you. At first, I was waiting for a good time to say it. Later, when you got a girlfriend, I realised you had always liked girls. I was using a female account and I never mentioned my gender, so it was normal that you thought I was a girl.”

Qi Jingzhi took a deep breath and said slowly, “After I found out you didn’t like boys, I gave up on telling you. Instead of making things awkward for both of us, it was better to stay by your side as a friend. If I was lucky, maybe I could stay by your side for a lifetime.”

After he said that, his lips hooked up slightly, the smile turning bitter. “So when you said you wanted to find me, I was so happy I almost lost my mind. But I was scared too. I didn’t want to miss the only chance I had to get close to you, and I was afraid I would ruin the friendship we worked so hard to build. So, so…”

The more he spoke, the lower his head sank, nearly dropping under the table. Yan Linjian reached out and lifted his chin. In his eyes he saw a faint sheen of tears and he instantly panicked.

“D-don’t cry. I don’t hate you because of this, and I’m not trying to cut ties with you. I just think it’s a little awkward.”

Qi Jingzhi sniffed and gave a small smile: “I’m fine. You don’t have to comfort me. If you feel uncomfortable sharing a room with me, I can move out of the dorm. But if possible, I hope you won’t delete me from WeChat. Leave me something to hold on to.”

“Hey, hey, hey… Qi Jingzhi, I’m telling you, that won’t work on me. Don’t act pitiful in front of me.” Yan Linjian pinched his chin hard, his gaze drifting away unnaturally, “I already said I’m not cutting ties with you because of this, besides, I…”

Yan Linjian suddenly let go of him and picked up the menu beside him: “Let’s get something to drink first! According to today’s plan, we were supposed to meet at the café, then go watch a movie and have dinner afterwards. We definitely won’t make it for the four o’clock movie now. After dinner, we can try the seven o’clock one. Mm, okay, I want a mango mousse and iced tea with ice cream.”

He waved his hand. The waiter who had been watching for a while came running over, her face full of gossip: “Are you two done talking?”

Yan Linjian gave a short hum and handed her the menu.

Qi Jingzhi: “We’re not done talking.”

Yan Linjian: “What talking? It’s pretty good this way! We eat, watch the movie, and go back to the dorm. I’m really busy tonight. I have data structures class tomorrow.”

“Then… does this count as a date?”

“Date? What date!” Yan Linjian almost jumped out of his chair, his face turning bright red, “I haven’t even forgiven you yet. What date? This is just a normal meal and a movie. Not a date, not a date!”

Qi Jingzhi nodded and went along with him: “Alright. What do you want to eat tonight?”

“There’s a three-sauce braised pot restaurant at the street that the back. Miao Xin and the others said it was good. Let’s go there.”

“Okay. You just ate around twelve, so let’s go over at about five thirty.”

“Alright.”

Their calm, everyday conversation left the waiter who came to serve their drinks stunned: Weren’t they arguing just now? How did they make up so quickly?

Yan Linjian was far from as calm as he looked. He pulled out his phone and started bombarding his older brother with messages:【We met!!!】

【What do I do, I’m so nervous I’m going to die!!!!】

【I’m so mad, I want to punch him!!】

【Ge what do I do right now ahhhhhhh!!】

【Ge why aren’t you replying to me TvT】

【Ge——】

【How am I supposed to talk to him!!!】

Yan Suici: 【Spam again and I’ll delete your contact】

【obedient.jpg】

Yan Suici: 【Do you like him?】

【Don’t ask me! No! Definitely not!!!】

Yan Suici: 【Then tell him you’re breaking up and stop contacting each other in the future】

【That’s not very nice, we usually get along pretty well…】

Yan Suici: 【Then keep things going between you two】

【But I’m really angry and awkward right now TvT. You already came out. If I come out too, will Dad kill me?】

Yan Suici: 【Yes】

【Ge———!!!】

【Help me!!】

Yan Suici: 【I’m not your ge :）】

【Then I’ll go ask Nianjun-ge for advice】

Yan Suici: 【……】

Yan Suici: 【You need to figure out whether you like him or not. Look at you, you can’t even bring yourself to cut ties with him. There’s an eighty percent chance you like him. You just care too much about saving face. If you really don’t know what to do, then just get along with him like you usually do. With time, you’ll understand your own feelings】

【Ge, this is the first time you’ve replied with so many words.】

【Love-brained 凸*凸¹凸*凸 – It’s an emoticon. The Chinese character 凸 that means raised/protruding/sticking out, looks like a middle finger. The * symbol is probably the mouth which is swearing.】

Yan Suici: 【Likewise】

Yan Suici: 【Don’t bother Nianjun】

Yan Linjian put down his phone. When he looked up, he saw Qi Jingzhi staring at him. His whole body felt uncomfortable: “Don’t you have anything to do?”

“No. I just want to watch you right now. I’m afraid you’ll suddenly run away.”

“…Don’t be so cheesy.”

As it turned out, the words that made him blush and his heart race on WeChat were even more effective when Qi Jingzhi said them in person.

Yan Linjian covered his face, his mind flashing back to his brother’s words: “Let’s just be like this for now.”

“…Are you saying you want to break up with me?”

? How could this person not understand human language?

“I said, let’s just be like this for now.”

Qi Jingzhi’s expression was dejected: “Doesn’t that mean breaking up?”

Yan Linjian raised his voice. “Aiya, what I mean is we should just stay like this for now.”

Qi Jingzhi’s eyes lit up at once. A smile touched the corners of his brows, and even his voice grew lighter: “So you like me too?”

Yan Linjian’s expression changed. A shy flush spread across his pale face and he lowered his head to stare at his own hands: “I… I never said that.”

“I understand.” Qi Jingzhi’s smile was like a clear spring flowing right through Yan Linjian’s heart, “I’ll wait until you say it yourself.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m just saying we can keep going like this, who knows if we’ll break up later. Let me say this first, I’m not good at relationships. My exes all had bad things to say about me. If being with me gets boring, you can break up with me anytime.”

“I won’t.” Qi Jingzhi said with certainty, “I definitely won’t. As long as you still want me, I absolutely won’t break up.”

“Stop saying these cheesy things.”

Yan Linjian looked around nervously and suddenly made eye contact with the waiter and the shop owner watching them from not far away. His face turned as red as a tomato.

He stood up, packed the desserts from the table, and pulled Qi Jingzhi away: “I suddenly don’t want to stay here anymore. Let’s go back to the dorm first. We can come out again for dinner tonight.”

“You’re going back to the dorm now? Aren’t you afraid they’ll get suspicious?”

“Huh? What’s there to be suspicious about? Is dating me something to be ashamed of?”

“…No.”

Qi Jingzhi couldn’t help but laugh quietly. Yan Linjian made people anxious when he was awkward, and caught them completely off guard when he was straightforward.

Yan Linjian tugged on his shoulder, and Qi Jingzhi secretly reached out to hold his hand. Their hands were about the same size, but Yan Linjian’s always felt smaller and more delicate. Qi Jingzhi gently pinched the pad of his middle finger. Seeing that he didn’t pull away, he intertwined their fingers.

“Hey, that’s enough…”

Yan Linjian complained but didn’t pull his hand away. He let Qi Jingzhi hold it and hurried ahead, his ears burning red.

Qi Jingzhi quickened his pace to catch up. Leaning close to his ear, he whispered: “I like you.”

Yan Linjian twitched as if electrocuted and glared at him, his whole face flushed pink: “Alright, I get it.”

“And you?”

“You’re annoying… shut up.”

Qi Jingzhi obediently closed his mouth. Yan Linjian didn’t respond, but tucked their interlaced hands into his coat pocket. Shoulder to shoulder, they walked down the crowded street, their hands still tightly entwined inside the pocket.

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  凸*凸 – It’s an emoticon. The Chinese character 凸 that means raised/protruding/sticking out, looks like a middle finger. The * symbol is probably the mouth which is swearing.