LNTSWJLY Chapter 20

Warm yellow light bathed the room. The clean white curtains blocked the nighttime view outside.

Even though the air purifier was running, Yin Xu still felt a suffocating tightness he couldn’t describe.

It was as if a meteor had suddenly crashed into his chest, leaving a gaping hole through which the wind blew, the rain poured, and an icy chill settled deep into his bones.

Yin Xu moved his lips, but the harsh, hysterical words refused to come out. After trembling for a while, he finally managed to utter only one sentence: “You said… I would like it.”

“…You lied to me?”

Yu Zhi looked at him, and perhaps even Yin Xu himself didn’t realize that, at this moment, his expression seemed like that of someone being bullied by a loved one, confused, sad, aggrieved, and yet cautious.

“Do you want me to lie to you, or that I didn’t?” he asked, his expression unchanged.

It was a rhetorical question, of course, he wished it weren’t a lie.

“Is it not good to step out of here, to step into the world, and to have a future that belongs entirely to you?” His voice was gentle and steady, like a stone embedded in a mountain, unaffected by the flow of water or the passage of time, reassuring and unwavering.

Yin Xu couldn’t find the words in his throat, a thousand thoughts and feelings stuck there, and he didn’t know which one to voice first.

All he could do was shake his head instinctively, trying to convey his thoughts as soon as possible.

“No.”

He didn’t want to.

“Xiao Xu, have you ever thought, if I agree to you now, but one day you find that the feelings you have now are just a consolation, and you meet someone who attracts you more, who makes you throw caution to the wind, and you want to leave me, what should I do?”

Yu Zhi didn’t stop him immediately but instead used a not-so-pleasant hypothesis to plant a seed of doubt in Yin Xu’s mind.

He knew that if he said things like “for your future,” “so you won’t regret it,” or “you deserve someone better,” Yin Xu wouldn’t accept it.

But if he made himself the one at risk, saying he might get hurt, might be abandoned in the end, Yin Xu would care at least a little.

Sure enough, Yin Xu’s shaking head paused.

“Do you want to see that kind of scene happen?” Yu Zhi asked.

Without hesitation, Yin Xu replied, “Of course not!”

“Then prove it to me,” Yu Zhi said earnestly, “There are decades of future ahead of us. Are you willing to bet a few years with me?”

Trembling, Yin Xu asked, “…Bet on what?”

“Just bet on the power of time. If you lose, then you lose. You don’t have to pay anything. We’ll just pretend this bet never existed.”

Yu Zhi poured him a glass of cold water, placed it in Yin Xu’s hand to calm him, and then slowly continued, “If I lose…”

“Then I’ll give you all the remaining time of my life.”

Yin Xu suddenly looked up, his eyes shimmering with water, a mix of confusion and shock, with a hint of disbelief and surprise.

He understood the implication behind those words, but still couldn’t believe it.

The thing he wanted was right in front of him now, just a reach away.

This made him, who had always been rejected, unable to help but be cautious and skeptical.

Is it true?

Is it really that simple?

After chasing something for so long, when it suddenly appears in front of you one day, shouldn’t the first reaction be joy and eagerness to seize it, rather than timidity, hesitation, and doubt?

But as he looked into the man’s sincere and resolute eyes, Yin Xu’s heart skipped a beat.

Yu Zhi’s gaze was serious and firm, conveying these words from the depths of his heart.

Seeing that Yin Xu still didn’t believe him, Yu Zhi went a step further, smiling as he said, “Think about it. I’m already almost forty, half my life is already behind me. And you’re not even twenty yet. If we end up together, anyone with eyes would say I’m robbing the cradle—you’re getting the short end of the stick.”

“How much of a future do I have left? And since I don’t have anyone I like, if I have to spend the rest of my life with someone—wouldn’t choosing someone who likes me be the smartest deal?

With these reasonable and heartfelt arguments, Yin Xu’s head was thoroughly muddled. After some thought, he nodded dumbly, feeling that the man made sense.

Their relationship had been hindered by the man’s concerns all along. If a bet could dispel those concerns, then it was worth it.

“So, you agree?” Yu Zhi asked seriously.

Yin Xu looked up at him, then nodded after a moment’s hesitation. “I promise you.”

Yu Zhi breathed a barely noticeable sigh of relief, then smiled. “That’s good. Let’s make it four years. After you finish college, if you still haven’t changed your mind, come back.”

Yin Xu looked at him, refusing to avert his gaze, but his thoughts were elsewhere.

Four years, for him, indeed weren’t too long. He could afford it. But what about this man?

How many more four years did he have to waste like this, meaninglessly?

It was for him.

All for him.

Yin Xu lowered his eyes, concealing the pain in his heart, while inwardly he couldn’t help but think.

He was ruthless.

He would rather waste four years than easily agree.

Sending Yin Xu back to his room to sleep, Yu Zhi stood alone by the window. He opened the curtains, gazing out at the vast night sky, and the lights of the city below. A slight sense of melancholy dispersed from Yu Zhi’s heart.

On this summer night, as the thick layers of clouds dissipated, the stars and moon hidden in the depths of the sky revealed themselves. The dawn was approaching, and the darkness of night would eventually be replaced by light.

Yin Xu was excited but couldn’t find sleep. Yet after drinking a glass of milk sent by Yu Zhi, drowsiness swept over him.

The next morning, after waking up, he sat blankly on the bed for a long while before his thoughts and memories slowly returned.

He couldn’t help but grin foolishly.

This happiness lasted for several days. Except for when he faced Yu Zhi and restrained himself from appearing too infatuated, he remained unchanged most of the time.

Xiao Pang, who came home for the holidays, was creeped out by his constant smile, so he couldn’t help but ask, “Did you win over my dad?”

Yin Xu didn’t know whether to nod or shake his head.

Seeing his lack of acknowledgment, Xiao Pang, who had experience in such matters, rolled his eyes and said, “Then what are you so happy about? I thought you were finally going to be my stepdad.”

Yin Xu pushed him lightly.

Xiao Pang turned to look at the person disturbing him from playing games with his desk mate and asked, “What’s up?”

“I need your help with something,” Yin Xu said after some thought.

Although he didn’t think relying on a kid was very reliable, he didn’t have any other options either.

Xiao Pang sized him up, raised his hand, and tilted his head. “I’m not doing this for free.”

Yin Xu bit his lip. “I can help you and your deskmate improve your scores.”

Xiao Pang looked at him skeptically. “Who are you trying to fool? You know how to play games?” He had never seen him play before.

Yin Xu said earnestly, “Of course, I do. I just didn’t play before to avoid your dad seeing me and thinking I’m slacking off.”

Yeah right, he thought. He’d go learn to play games now. What were these two kids playing anyway? Was it something like Honor of Kings?

Xiao Pang inwardly sighed at Yin Xu’s cunning. They both played games, yet why was he always the one scolded or having his phone confiscated? Meanwhile, Yin Xu, who played even better, could become the apple of his dad’s eye.

Unfair.

Despite his thoughts, Xiao Pang’s body remained honest. “No backing out!”

Yin Xu nodded seriously. “I promise.”

With the conditions set, Xiao Pang finally asked, “So, what do you want me to do?”

Yin Xu glanced around before whispering his thoughts.

Xiao Pang listened in shock.

He stared at the person in front of him, unable to believe it.

No way…

“But how… how do I know who he likes? My dad had so many lovers before, and I never saw him like any of them. Besides, if he’s keeping someone outside, how would I know?” Xiao Pang felt Yin Xu was overstimating him.

Yin Xu thought for a moment and decided to relax his requirements.

“If he brings someone home, just let me know.”

He felt that, given Yu Zhi’s personality, anyone he was willing to bring home would probably be someone he liked at least a little.

“Are you so concerned about whether I like someone or not?” A sudden voice came from behind, startling the two!

They quickly turned around and saw Yu Zhi standing there, smiling at them.

Yu Zhi hadn’t expected to overhear these two plotting to spy on him.

Yin Xu’s face instantly turned red.

Flustered. Embarrassed.

Caught red-handed doing mischief behind someone’s back. So awkward.

But Xiao Pang reacted quickly, “Dad, I was sleepwalking just now, I don’t know anything, I’m going back to my room!” With that, he hastily grabbed his phone and ran back to his room, leaving Yin Xu alone to face Yu Zhi.

Yu Zhi casually walked over to the sofa and sat down, calmly observing Yin Xu, whose cheeks were flushed and who seemed to wish he could disappear.

“If you have any requests, you can tell me directly. There’s no need to beat around the bush and ask others,” he said.

“Since I’ve agreed to the bet, I won’t go back on my word. I won’t be waiting for you while being with someone else.” The one with a girlfriend was the original owner, and Yu Zhi wasn’t interested in that, nor did he see the need to use it to provoke Yin Xu.

Yin Xu’s heart was racing, he knew this was because of his feelings for Yu Zhi.

He moved his lips, wanting to say something like, ‘You don’t have to do this, it’s just a bet, and we’re not together. Even if you get a girlfriend, find a steady partner, it doesn’t matter, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself because of me.’

He wanted to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to.

He thought he wasn’t a jealous person, even knowing that this man had had many girlfriends in the past, and had even had a child with other women. He didn’t care.

But at this moment, he realized he was wrong.

Sometimes the only reason you’re not jealous is because you never had the right or the need to be. The past was just the past.

But now and in the future, he wanted to have it all to himself.

He was selfish.

But he didn’t want to change.

After the results came out, Yu Zhi asked Yin Xu what university and major he wanted, and Yin Xu chose Q University.

The city where Q University is located is halfway across the country from S City, which is enough to prove Yin Xu’s seriousness.

After a peaceful and quiet holiday, Yin Xu had to face the coming future and his impending departure.

Yu Zhi diligently helped him prepare various things he would need at school and arranged for a car to take him to the airport.

But he didn’t go himself.

Watching Yin Xu’s bewildered and reluctant expression, Yu Zhi smiled, “Partings happen wherever we go, so I won’t see you off at the airport.”

“After you settle down there, remember to call me.”

“With your heavy workload, if you’re too busy, it’s okay not to come back.”

“My phone number won’t change. Feel free to call or video call if you need anything.”

Yu Zhi rambled on for quite a while, going all in on the concerned guardian act.

But Yin Xu hesitated, unwilling to leave.

Together with the driver arranged by Yu Zhi, they loaded Yin Xu’s belongings into the car. Finally, Yu Zhi pushed Yin Xu into the car and closed the door.

He smiled at the person inside the car, “Take care on the road, and remember to call when you arrive.”

The car sped away.

The driver tried to say a few words to Yin Xu about how much his boss cared for him, but Yin Xu wasn’t listening.

From the conversation after the exam to today’s separation, every scene replayed in his mind.

Yin Xu, belatedly, realized he’d been deceived.

The bets, the agreements, the four years… they were all just tools that man used to trick him into leaving.

Time and distance were the most effective tools for diluting emotions.

Yu Zhi hadn’t intended to test him; he simply confused him, guided him, and pushed him into a world without Yu Zhi.

With irresistible schemes, he lured Yin Xu into making mistakes.

What’s detestable is that to achieve his goal, Yin Xu had no choice but to fall for this scheme.

And that man, he never believed Yin Xu could endure.

He abandoned him.

……………………………

Author’s Note:

Yin Xu: He’s truly cunning.

Yu Zhi: Nowadays, being a good person is too difficult.

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