LNTSWJLY Chapter 19

The autumn night was still. The evening breeze was cool.

A bright full moon hung high in the sky, casting down its soft, silvery glow.

Under the eaves, a bright incandescent lamp shone desperately, trying its hardest to light up the space around it.

In the dark, the boy’s eyes shimmered faintly. If you looked closely, it was the reflection of the lamp and the moon in his teary gaze—rippling and glistening like water.

Yin Xu suppressed his surging emotions, the boiling blood, the trembling body.

He had no right, no reason to cry.

Facing this man, he felt like a child who knew nothing.

Naive. Laughable. Immature.

He knew it, he knew it all.

Perhaps in Yu Zhi’s eyes, this was nothing more than childish drama and emotional indulgence.

He wasn’t worthy of him.

But he still felt miserable.

This kind of pain, the kind that leaves you no reason to even feel wronged or angry, was unbearable

Tears welled up, and Yin Xu raised his head slightly, refusing to let the tears fall. But in doing so, he saw the expression on the man’s face.

Pity. Helplessness. Sympathy.

Yu Zhi hadn’t expected things to turn out like this. Seeing the child almost on the verge of tears, any frustration he had turned into helplessness.

Why be so stubborn?

He couldn’t understand.

Perhaps, this was the depth of a young man’s emotions—deep, intense, hard to let go.

Yu Zhi couldn’t help but pull out the handkerchief from his chest pocket. He gently dabbed beneath Yin Xu’s eyes. The silky handkerchief touched his eyelids, absorbing the tears before they could fall.

“Don’t cry,” Yu Zhi said softly.

But saying that only made it worse. The moment the words were spoken, Yin Xu—perhaps relying on the presence of the handkerchief—let his tears pour out without restraint.

Before long, Yu Zhi felt the handkerchief become damp.

Along with it came the release of suppressed emotions. Yin Xu held back his sobs and cried out somewhat unreasonably, “Why are you so good to me?!”

Why indeed?!

Why…?

If he hadn’t been so good, Yin Xu wouldn’t have been moved, and he certainly wouldn’t have been forced to confess his feelings at this moment.

Yin Xu was someone who valued his pride. But for this man, he was willing to throw that aside.

However, that didn’t mean he felt no discomfort at all when forced to reveal his emotions.

Knowing he was about to be rejected by Yu Zhi, Yin Xu felt embarrassed and deeply saddened.

Yu Zhi understood the seemingly angry but distressed words. For a moment, he was speechless.

He had only wanted the boy to change his mind, but he hadn’t expected him to be so stubborn, turning Yu Zhi into the one at fault.

With a wry smile, Yu Zhi suddenly felt a bit unfair. After all, he was just a child, a child with budding feelings. Even if his feelings were directed at the wrong person, that was all there was to it.

He had once faced thousands of soldiers, the edge of death, countless battles, and never once furrowed his brows. So why was one boy’s affection leaving him at a total loss?

It’s not like him.

Really, it’s not like him at all.

He wiped away the boy’s tears once again and then handed him the handkerchief, saying, “Here, use this to wipe your tears.”

Yin Xu stared blankly but stopped crying.

After that momentary outburst, he regained his composure.

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

“I was being unreasonable just now.”

Was Yu Zhi really at fault? Was it wrong to be kind to him?

Of course not. It was his own impoverished life that magnified even the slightest glimmer of light, illuminating and attracting him.

Yu Zhi sighed. “They say women are made of water, but why do you seem just like water to me? It’s such a small matter, why cry over it?”

Yin Xu cautiously raised his head to look at him.

“You… don’t mind?” Do you mind that I like you?

“Mind what?” Yu Zhi smiled back.

Yin Xu didn’t answer, just continued looking at him. Yu Zhi felt helpless under his gaze and chuckled, “It’s just a crush. It’s not like the sky is falling or the world is ending.”

In fact, in his heart, perhaps not even the end of the world could compare to this feeling of being on edge.

Yin Xu was deceived by his relaxed demeanor, thinking he didn’t care much, which eased his mind a bit.

However, the realization that the man’s ease was mostly due to not liking him made Yin Xu feel powerless again.

“I’m good to you, yet I have improper thoughts about you, desire you, defile you… and even get angry with you, I’m sorry…” He felt genuinely ashamed, yet also genuinely unrepentant.

If given another chance, no, there was no need for another chance; even now, he would still like this man.

Seeing him in just a thin shirt, apparently getting ready for bed, Yu Zhi stopped him and took off his jacket, draping it over the boy’s shoulders.

The gentle warmth seeped into Yin Xu’s body, dispelling the night’s chill.

“I’m not cold,” he muttered, his voice still carrying traces of post-crying nasal tones.

“I feel like you’re cold,” Yu Zhi said, ignoring his protests.

Yin Xu choked up, somehow sensing a hint of “your mother thinks you’re cold” in that statement, feeling short of breath for a moment.

Seeing through his thoughts, Yu Zhi couldn’t help but let out a smile.

He realized he had been overly concerned. Why was he so stressed out over a simple crush?

The heart of a teenager is easily moved, but his life is still long, whereas he is just a passing guest.

Maybe in another year or so, the feelings of the grown-up teenager will fade or change from what they are now.

He had been worried too soon.

“I’m also sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you like I did earlier,” he said softly.

Yin Xu looked at Yu Zhi in astonishment, meeting those eyes brimming with kindness and tenderness, feeling even more powerless.

He understood.

This man regarded his affection as nothing more than the fleeting sentiment of a touched teenager. He probably thought a gust of wind or a splash of rain would be enough to quietly wash it away.

All he needed to do was wait for his change.

Panic gripped Yin Xu’s heart, making him doubt himself. Would he change so easily?

He didn’t know.

All he knew was that this version of Yu Zhi made his heart race even more.

He thought Yu Zhi was truly kind. To make him give up, it was simple: just treat him poorly, or at worst, distance oneself from him.

There was no need to rack his brain trying to come up with tactful, gentle ways to reject him.

He was too kind.

But, sir, perhaps you’ve forgotten, that the good are often taken advantage of.

With such gentleness, it’s really hard for people not to take advantage.

People’s hearts are insatiable, and he’s no exception.

Yu Zhi deeply felt the failure of this conversation and wanted to end it, planning to find another time to talk later. However, when he said “Get some rest” and turned to return to his room, Yin Xu stopped him.

“Sir.”

“Can I continue to like you?”

…………

Until the end of the holiday more than ten days later, when the two children returned to school and Yu Zhi resumed his busy work schedule, sitting in his office, he still felt uneasy.

He silently cursed the cunningness of the teenager.

No matter how he answered that question, it would be wrong.

Saying yes implied accepting and welcoming his affection and pursuit. Saying no, would it stop him? If a simple “no” could prevent it, then why bother wasting so much thought?

“Assistant, please order some books on education for teenagers aged 16-19,” Yu Zhi instructed.

Feeling the need to supplement his knowledge, Yu Zhi believed that human evolution was progressing, and dealing with kids was becoming increasingly challenging.

His assistant agreed while quietly sighing: Looks like the boss really is switching careers from a domineering CEO to a stay-at-home dad… even if the kid’s already kind of grown.

Some things seemed unchanged.

Yet, at the same time, everything felt different.

The dynamics remained similar to before, but Yin Xu no longer concealed his affection or his intentions. Whenever he looked at Yu Zhi, his eyes were full of tenderness.

Xiao Pang, having indulged in countless idol dramas and romance novels, sensed that the situation was probably inevitable this time. He reverted to his old ways and privately referred to Yin Xu as “Little Dad” to his classmates.

He felt that his dad wasn’t as formidable as Yin Xu. No matter how smart and capable he was, he still ended up in Yin Xu’s hands.

Real men had to admit it when something was good.

“We’re not together,” Yin Xu found Xiao Pang to clear up any misunderstanding. He appreciated acknowledgment, but he didn’t need false validation.

Xiao Pang’s mouth hung open in surprise. “Huh? My dad, the tough old bull, is that hard to crack?”

Yin Xu: “How could you say that about your dad? He’s not old.”

Xiao Pang gave him a disdainful glance, and thought: So biased. Probably hopeless. He’d originally hoped for a Little Dad who could whisper good things about him in bed to his dad, but now realized what he’d probably get instead was two dads teaming up to lecture him, so he gave up and let them do whatever they wanted.

With less than four months left until the college entrance exams, Yu Zhi didn’t want Yin Xu’s exams to be affected by their relationship. So, he turned a blind eye to Yin Xu’s behavior, putting off any discussions until after the exams.

Soon, during the final hundred days leading up to the exams, Yin Xu understood Yu Zhi’s intentions. He didn’t want to disappoint Yu Zhi’s kindness, so he reduced his focus on trivial matters and started concentrating on his studies.

He revised during the day at school and addressed any gaps in his knowledge with Yu Zhi in the evenings. Both of them tacitly avoided discussing their feelings, and for a while, their interactions felt like they had returned to the time before Yin Xu realized he liked Yu Zhi.

After a year of intense preparation, Yin Xu’s grades improved significantly. He wasn’t dumb to begin with; he had just spent a lot of time working before. Now, with nothing else to worry about, he focused solely on his studies, leading to rapid improvement in his grades.

From Yu Zhi’s perspective, getting into a top university was not a problem.

And university? Well, it was just the beginning of life.

“Good luck on your exam.” Three months later, in the scorching heat of summer, Yu Zhi came to see Yin Xu off to the exam hall.

After ensuring that everything was in order, Yu Zhi reached out and ruffled Yin Xu’s hair, smiling softly. “I have something to tell you after your exam.”

Yin Xu’s heart fluttered, suddenly feeling a reluctance to take the test. He knew what Yu Zhi would talk about and guessed it probably wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear.

Forcing a smile, Yin Xu said, “Sir, can’t you say something comforting considering I’m about to take an exam?”

Yu Zhi chuckled, reaching out to smooth Yin Xu’s slightly sweaty forehead. “Don’t worry, I think you’ll like what I have to say.”

Yin Xu froze, pushed into the exam hall by Yu Zhi in a daze, and took his seat in a similar state.

As the starting bell rang, he finally snapped out of his daze.

Recalling Yu Zhi’s words, he couldn’t help but break into a wide smile, catching the attention of the exam proctor for quite some time.

After three days of exams, Yin Xu felt a mix of excitement and nervousness, believing he might have performed exceptionally well.

Upon returning home after the exams, that very evening, Yu Zhi called him into the study with a smile. “Congratulations.”

Yin Xu couldn’t suppress the smile on his face. “Sir, you said earlier there was something you wanted to tell me?”

Yu Zhi hadn’t forgotten. He looked at Yin Xu seriously and said, “Xiao Xu, apply for universities out of province, and then, move out.”

Yin Xu’s smile disappeared.

……………………………

Author’s Note:

Yin Xu: He lied to me. I don’t like him at all. Not even a bit.

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