LNTSWJLY Chapter 18

Yin Xu stumbled back into his room and carefully closed the door. Only then did he seem to collapse, as if drained of all strength, shrinking down against the door and squatting on the floor with his arms wrapped tightly around his knees.

It was as if only this could fill him with strength again.

He didn’t know where he found the courage and composure just now, pretending as if he hadn’t heard anything and quietly returning to his room.

He rested his chin on his hand, breathing heavily, his trembling hands clutching his knees. After a while, he gradually began to calm down.

He knows…

When did he find out?

What will he think and do now that he knows?

With these thoughts in mind, Yin Xu’s chaotic heart suddenly quieted for a moment.

He might not know the answers to other questions, but could he not know the answer to this one?

After all, he had just heard it with his ears…

To guide him back to the “right path,” the man even considered seeking a psychologist.

Yin Xu’s heart ached, feeling somewhat suffocated.

The initial nervousness and apprehension upon realizing his exposure diminished, replaced instead by sadness and helplessness.

Even after knowing the truth, the man hadn’t confronted him or said anything outright. Instead, he tried to quietly pull everything back on track.

Yin Xu let out a light laugh, but his eyes reddened.

His rational mind told him that the man was doing it for his good, for the sake of their relationship. After all, only if nothing changed could they continue to interact like this. Once things changed, who knows what would happen?

Yet, his emotions told him that the man’s actions amounted to rejection. Even if he knew that Yin Xu liked him, he didn’t intend to accept his feelings or even face them. He just wanted to pretend he hadn’t noticed anything, quietly, without a sound, dealing with it on his own.

If it hadn’t been for Yin Xu happening to overhear, he might not have realized the man’s hand in it when he was on the verge of giving up one day.

In the end, he was still young, experiencing his first crush, and Yin Xu found it difficult to endure being treated like this.

But strangely, he didn’t even have a reason or position to be angry or complain.

He secretly liked him and planned to pursue him.

What had the man done wrong?

Nothing.

Was he wrong for being kind to him? Kind, excellent, powerful… Were these wrong?

Even when he wanted to reject him, to guide him onto the right path, he did it quietly, without hurting his dignity, and never pushed him away or distanced himself because of it.

If the other party had gone to such lengths, what more could he ask for? What right did he have to demand anything from him?

Rejecting was his right, and he had no right to deprive him of it.

He was very good, truly very good, so good that he didn’t even have a reason to resent him.

There was a moment when Yin Xu felt resentment, not because he rejected him, but because he was too good to him. He was so good, how could he be willing to let go?

In the end, he was just a human, and humans are greedy, and he was no exception.

Human beings have an instinct to seek light and crave all things beautiful, and for Yin Xu, currently, Yu Zhi represents the pinnacle of that.

To miss out on Yu Zhi would mean his life would never be complete.

Would Yu Zhi blame him?

No, he wouldn’t. Even though he knew Yin Xu’s feelings for him, Yu Zhi never confronted him about it. Instead, he tried to console him, believing that Yin Xu would be better suited with someone his age.

But perhaps Yu Zhi didn’t know that in Yin Xu’s eyes, he was the best and the most dazzling. Even though Yin Xu hadn’t met many people, he believed that even if he did, no one could attract him like Yu Zhi did, drawing him closer and closer.

But… Yu Zhi didn’t want him.

That night, both Yu Zhi and Yin Xu didn’t sleep well.

The next day, when Yu Zhi got up, instead of leaving early as usual, he waited for Yin Xu to wake up, wanting to gauge the effect of the drastic measures he took the previous night through Yin Xu’s reaction.

But he waited for a long time before seeing a young man with swollen eyes and slight eye bags emerge from the room.

Yu Zhi pretended not to understand and asked, “What’s wrong? Did you stay up late reading or watching TV again last night?”

Yin Xu shook his head with a smile. “I’m fine, Sir. You don’t need to worry.”

He skillfully placed breakfast in front of Yu Zhi. It was prepared just the way Yu Zhi liked it.

Seeing Yu Zhi still standing there, Yin Xu pushed the bowl and chopsticks in his direction. “Aren’t you going to eat, Sir? Are you taking the day off today?”

Only then did Yu Zhi take the bowl and chopsticks, eating with mixed emotions.

He never imagined that his actions from yesterday would lead to only one outcome… Yin Xu cried all night.

Just like that…

Gone…

Gone?!

It’s easy to see from Yin Xu’s actions that he hasn’t changed anything, still caring for Yu Zhi’s daily needs as usual, apparently sticking to the old method of gradually warming things up.

So, was his effort last night all in vain?

What about the young people loving face-saving?

Yu Zhi truly felt his age this time, feeling out of touch with the thoughts of the younger generation.

If he were to switch places with his mission target from his previous world, he would probably be eager to finish the job and not see him again.

But not Yin Xu.

Despite knowing that Yu Zhi knew his intentions, Yin Xu continued to act as he always did.

As Yu Zhi calmed down and pondered, suddenly he understood.

This child probably didn’t want to make things explicit, obviously not wanting to hurt him. In that case, Yu Zhi decided to pretend not to know either, especially since he didn’t know Yin Xu had overheard the phone conversation last night.

He was relying on Yu Zhi not to say it outright.

Yu Zhi couldn’t help but shake his head and smile wryly in his heart, a sense of helplessness slowly creeping in.

Yin Xu…

How should he handle you?

As Yu Zhi suspected, Yin Xu was relying on Yu Zhi not to lay things bare.

He wasn’t foolish. If he made everything clear if he explicitly expressed his pursuit of the man, the man would take the opportunity to reject him, and then he would have no chance left.

It was better to pretend not to have heard anything, to make himself forget about last night.

On Monday, the two children went to school, but Yu Zhi’s mind was far from relaxed. Unresolved matters wouldn’t disappear; they would only grow into bigger troubles.

Yu Zhi wasn’t one to procrastinate, but facing a teenager who turned pursuit into psychological warfare, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of powerlessness.

There was even a moment when he thought, “Should I just lie flat and let him do as he pleases?”

But he couldn’t.

Not only because this body was twenty years older than the teenager, but also because he was a mission executor.

This world was just one of the many he had experienced. He had experienced many in the past, and he would experience even more in the future, but the teenager only had this one life.

If he were to accept him, experience one life, and then forget his feelings for him, it would be unfair to Yin Xu, who would remember him for a lifetime.

But if he didn’t forget, carrying memories of him as a lover through time, it wouldn’t be fair to his nearly immortal self either.

Yu Zhi liked fairness, disliked being owed by others, and even more so, disliked owing others.

The end-of-term exams quickly approached, and under joint guidance and pressure from Teacher Yu Zhi, Yin Xu, and the others, Xiao Pang successfully ranked third in the class, becoming what Yu Zhi referred to as an ordinary person.

Xiao Pang widened his eyes, “Dad, I’m an ordinary person now. So what did you consider me before?”

Yu Zhi also looked at him, casually asking, “What do you think?”

Xiao Pang hesitated, “…”

Yu Zhi smiled, “Need me to give you a hint?”

Xiao Pang adamantly refused, “No!” He didn’t want to be called dumb by someone else! Although… he used to be not so bright.

“Why don’t you talk about Brother Xu? He didn’t even get third place yet!” Only fifth, he couldn’t compare to him at all.

Xiao Pang glanced at Yin Xu with a smug expression.

Yu Zhi tapped his head, “What does your Brother Xu study? And you? How many students are there in your brother’s class? And in yours?”

“So what if there are more people? Just because there are more doesn’t mean he can’t place third!” the boy retorted with full confidence and righteous indignation.

Yin Xu just smiled, not bothering to argue with him, and offered to help carry his school bag back to the room with great enthusiasm.

That gentle, domestic attitude… Yu Zhi could hardly bear to look, but Xiao Pang thought Yin Xu was trying to retaliate against him, so he stubbornly refused and insisted on carrying it himself.

As Xiao Pang’s figure bounced away down the hallway, Yu Zhi couldn’t help but smile, and then turned to face Yin Xu.

“Have you thought about where you want to go during the vacation? Let’s agree now, I’ll take you guys.” Even though it’s only half a month, taking out two or three days shouldn’t be a problem.

Yin Xu looked up at him, then lowered his head again, his voice gentle, with a slight smile on his lips, “Sir, I don’t want to go outside. I prefer spending time with the people at home.”

Yu Zhi chuckled inwardly, realizing the underlying meaning behind Yin Xu’s words. For those who didn’t know, it sounded perfectly normal, but he knew better.

This kid spends every day in the study, using all the tricks of linguistic artistry, isn’t it? Is he binding himself in a cocoon or teaching his master too well?

“You want to stay at home, I won’t object, but I’ll take Xiao Pang out, you just stay at home alone,” Yu Zhi pursed his lips.

Yin Xu opened his eyes slightly and quickly grabbed Yu Zhi, who was about to leave. “Sir!”

“I was wrong, I’ll go with you guys,”

Yu Zhi said, glancing at him.” “Didn’t you say you liked staying at home?”

Yin Xu shook his head earnestly. “I don’t like it.”

Yu Zhi’s lips curved up. “Didn’t you say you wanted to be with your family?”

Yin Xu’s tone was firm. “You are my family.”

Seeing the pleading and anxiety in his eyes, Yu Zhi suddenly lost his teasing mood and said gently, “Then pack your clothes yourself.”

With that, he turned and walked away.

Yin Xu watched his broad back and murmured, “You haven’t said where we’re going yet.”

Since it was winter, Yu Zhi didn’t plan to go too far—it would be hard to get back into the school mindset afterward if they overindulged.

Yu Zhi took the two of them to a countryside resort.

Coming straight from the hustle and bustle of the city to the countryside, both body and mind naturally relaxed.

During the day, Yu Zhi led the two of them to fish. He caught the most fish, and with his guidance, Yin Xu also managed to catch a few. However, Xiao Pang was focused on playing games and didn’t even bother to reel in his line when the fish took the bait.

As a result, after fishing, Yu Zhi dropped a sentence that immediately caught Xiao Pang off guard.

“Tonight, whoever catches the fish eats it,” implying that those who didn’t catch any fish shouldn’t eat.

Xiao Pang looked at him, then at Yin Xu, and immediately started crying and throwing a tantrum. “Dad, you can’t do this!”

Yu Zhi smiled. “Yes, I can.”

When he was feeling down, only teasing Xiao Pang could make him feel a bit better.

In the evening, Xiao Pang still managed to mooch off Yin Xu’s dinner.

After he had finished washing up and fallen asleep, Yu Zhi called Yin Xu out.

The stars twinkled in the sky, and the moonlight was gentle.

As always, the man’s voice was gentle, easily allowing Yin Xu to let down his guard.

“I feel like your mindset has been a bit off lately. Is it because you’re too stressed about reviewing? I’ve arranged for a doctor to help you. Can we find some time to go see them after we return?”

He looked straight at Yin Xu, his gaze holding nothing back, his intentions clear.

He was telling Yin Xu with actions.

He knew.

And.

He was going to make it clear.

Yin Xu’s heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, he felt like a large hand was gripping his neck, making it hard to breathe.

He looked up at Yu Zhi, quietly. On the man’s face was still sincere concern. He really cared about him, was genuinely worried. But the words he said, the things he did, stabbed him right in the heart

Unreservedly.

Yu Zhi felt a twinge of unease under that gaze. He looked away, guilt creeping into his chest. He shut his eyes briefly, then smiled and said, “If you don’t like it, then forget it. I just hope you take better care of yourself and don’t… do anything you might regret.”

With that, he turned to head back to his room.

But the next moment, his wrist was grabbed tightly—as if Yin Xu had used all his strength.

Yin Xu’s tone was strained, but he feigned composure. He held back the bitterness in his heart and said softly, “Sir, there’s no need for further probing or subtle hints. Whatever you want to hear, I can tell you.”

Sensing what he was about to say, Yu Zhi frowned involuntarily, almost instinctively trying to stop him and to leave.

“Wait—”

“I like you.”

……………………………

Author’s Note:

Yin Xu: You wanted to hear it, right? I like you.

Yu Zhi: …No, I didn’t.

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