DBTHDCAR Chapter 90

『dapotaturs note: Content Notice – This chapter contains discussion of self-harm. No excessive detail, but reader discretion is still advised.』

“Died together” was absolutely not true. Otherwise, it would have already been on TV.

Even if it didn’t make it onto TV, the death of two former male teachers from a key high school would at least get a tiny tofu-block column in the social section of the《Xinmin Evening News.》

They tried to die, but failed.

Or rather, the artistic Teacher Peng, feeling guilty toward Brother Kai, got drunk one day and tried to leap off the third-floor rooftop. Fortunately, Brother Kai and the boss owner spotted him in time and dragged him down, pulling him back by force, preventing any tragic outcome.

By the way, the Vendy’s owner’s Chinese name is Wen Di. He was Peng Yue’s senior at the art academy. After graduating, the senior came to realize he really didn’t have much talent in art. So, using the startup money his parents had given him to open a studio, he instead opened this bar.

As for Teacher Peng, who once believed he had a bright future ahead, thinking that even a few casual strokes of his brush could sell for sky-high prices; after living in a basement for two years without selling a single painting, he finally faced reality. In the end, his family pulled some strings and placed him into the Affiliated High School, where he became a not-so-glorious art teacher.

Although these two senior and junior took different paths, their relationship remained very good. So after Teacher Peng lost his job, he didn’t tell his family and instead came to rely on his senior. The senior was loyal enough, he let the pair of ill-fated lovers stay for free for several months. It was only at the beginning of this month that they moved out.

In other words, if Ning Xiaobei hadn’t run off in such a hurry back then as if his pants were on fire, or if he had come to find the boss with that business card afterward, they might have already crossed paths. Instead, now one side was desperately searching, while the other had long since left Shanghai and gone far away.

Brother Kai had taken his little wife and left; returning to his hometown in Yuyao.

Unlike Ning Xiaobei, Fan Xia had absolutely no idea about the relationship between Gu Kaige and Peng Yue before today. He had always thought they were just close friends who got along well. Because Teacher Peng was such a homebody, Brother Kai would drag him out everywhere to get some sun and exercise out of concern. But thinking back now, Brother Kai might have been a little too concerned.

“So… do the elders in the Gu family also know that their son is… like that?”

Fan Xia couldn’t believe that parents in China had become this open-minded nowadays.

To be honest, as for his own relationship with Xiaobei, only his uncle knew about it so far. Xiaobei’s father still had no idea.

He listened to his uncle and decided that in a couple of years; once he and Ning Xiaobei had completely settled down, then they would talk about it.

But in Fan Xia’s view, what settling down or stability did they still need? They had already been settled for so many years; steady to the point they couldn’t be any steadier.

Xiaobei only had him, and he only had Xiaobei. Half of their lives so far had been spent together, and for the rest of their lives, they would only have each other.

But his uncle insisted, at the very least, wait until they graduated from university, at least until he entered society and had a job. Even for a man and a woman getting married, there had to be some kind of security. Let alone a relationship like theirs; without a financial foundation, nothing could really be discussed.

On this point, Fan Xia agreed. He had grown up under the care of his father Fan Jian and his uncle Zhao Jingwen. They were both typical traditional Chinese men, carrying a bit of patriarchal thinking in their bones, but when it came to supporting a family, taking care of a wife, and being filial to parents, they never shirked responsibility.

Not to mention, even though his father and mother had been divorced for many years, every holiday season, Fan Jian would still bring gifts to visit Fan Xia’s maternal grandmother. In comparison, his mother didn’t even return home to visit every year.

“Little brother, are you dreaming? His parents are genuine, down-to-earth farmers. Asking them to accept that their son is gay; might as well ask them to jump into the Huangpu River. If they found out today, they’d probably send him to a county mental hospital tomorrow, alright?”

Wen Di rolled his eyes at Fan Xia.

“Anyway, he can’t stay in schools in Shanghai anymore. Old Gu has gone back home to teach for a while; they’re short on teachers there, especially male teachers. As for Xiao Peng, they’re saying he’s doing art in the city and went to the mountains to gather inspiration.For now, they’ll just get through the New Year first. Besides, Xiao Peng often disappears for months at a time anyway; his parents are used to it and won’t suspect anything.”

Only after hearing that both teachers were safe did Ning Xiaobei and Fan Xia finally relax.

But more than relief, there was a sense of melancholy. Life was too unpredictable. Things you thought would always be there, people you thought would always stay could suddenly vanish in an instant, or move somewhere else, never to be seen again.

“Little brother, what did I say? Sooner or later, you’d end up coming here. I wasn’t wrong, was I?”

As Wen Di spoke, he reached out again, about to hook Ning Xiaobei’s chin; only to have his hand slapped away with a smack by Fan Xia.

Seeing that the conversation was about done, the two of them prepared to leave. Fan Xia practically rushed out first. He really couldn’t stand this boss, nor the way the men around them were looking at him, like each of them wanted to devour him whole.

“Your boyfriend is pretty good.”

Outside, the cold wind blew. Wen Di crossed his arms and only walked Ning Xiaobei to the doorway, not stepping out any further.

“He’s not gay. I could tell at a glance.”

Wen Di pointed to his temple, his snake-like eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re different. One look and I can tell. Back then, I was even thinking, ‘Not bad…among this year’s newcomers, there’s actually someone this handsome on our side. Who would’ve thought the flower was already taken, and turns out he’s the bottom.”

“I’m begging you, keep your voice down. The whole street’s going to hear you.”

As Ning Xiaobei spoke, he pulled his coat over himself.

That’s just how it was in the real world; people in the gay community, nine out of ten had a built-in gaydar, yet he couldn’t sense anything at all. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been kept in the dark by his father for decades, nor would he have misread things and thought Zhuo Yuhang had feelings for him.

From a certain perspective, Ning Xiaobei was a pretty unsuccessful gay.

If Gu Kaige and Peng Yue hadn’t made it so obvious, he might’ve only just realized their relationship at the same time as Fan Xia.

“So he’s not gay, and he still fell for you? Tell me,how did you pull that off?”

Turning a straight man gay was harder than ascending to heaven.

Even with all his years of experience, Black Snake Demon had never succeeded even once.

Those straight men who accidentally wandered into VENDY mostly ended up like Zhuo Yuhang that night; either teased by him until their skin crawled, or they’d curse a couple of times and leave. Some even tried to throw punches, which was really uncivilized.

Someone like Fan Xia, who clearly got goosebumps all over the moment he stepped into the bar, yet still kept his arm wrapped tightly around his little lover, putting on a bold, possessive front, Wen Di had never seen anything like it since entering this circle.

Ning Xiaobei tugged at his sleeve and lowered his head with a smile.

Yes, he knew. Fan Xia didn’t like men, but Fan Xia liked Ning Xiaobei.

“Because I’ve been with him for nine whole years.”

From fourth grade in elementary school until now. From age eleven to nineteen.

So many classmates, neighbors, Chang Leyun, Ding Zheyang, Lin Ziying, and many more whose names had already faded, came and went through Fan Xia’s life. Only I stayed the whole time.

“Tch, childhood sweethearts, huh? What are you so smug about… go on, get lost.”

With the cold wind blowing, Wen Di wrapped his thin coat tighter around his shoulders and waved Ning Xiaobei off twice, already about to shut the door.

Jingle — the door that had just been shut swung open again the very next second.

“What now?”

Ning Xiaobei turned back.

“Give back my business card.”

Wen Di held out his hand.

“Why should I?”

“I only gave it to you because I thought you were a ‘one’. If I’d known you already had a boyfriend, why would I give you a discount? Hand it over!”

The ancient demon’s jealous expression was truly a sight; he almost couldn’t keep up his human disguise. Snatching the card from Ning Xiaobei’s hand, he slammed the door shut with a bang, leaving only the pair of bells hanging by the entrance, clinking in the cold wind.

In that short moment, Fan Xia had already wandered off to the food court next door and bought two skewers of lamb and a roasted sweet potato. The two of them found a spot sheltered from the wind and sat down, taking a bite of lamb, then a bite of sweet potato, eating with great satisfaction. After a while, when he got tired of it, Fan Xia went off again and bought two cups of hot coffee. There was still some time before the curfew at their respective schools, so they planned to linger a bit longer before heading back.

“I really didn’t expect it… How could someone as decent as Teacher Gu end up being framed like that…?”

Fan Xia was eating so enthusiastically that his mouth was slick with grease; some oil from the skewers even smeared onto his cheek. Ning Xiaobei couldn’t bear to look at it anymore; he pulled a pack of tissues from his pocket, took one out, and wiped his face clean.

Just then, a young couple happened to pass by and saw the scene. The girl let out a soft snort of laughter, while her boyfriend frowned, looking as if he’d just seen a virus, and pulled her a couple of steps away.

“What are you staring at? That’s my dad! Can’t my dad take care of me?”

Fan Xia widened his eyes and shouted at the boy. The couple was so startled they broke into a run.

“Hey, for ordinary people, which is scarier; being gay or being crazy?”

Fan Xia laughed so hard he slapped his thigh. The tricky question left his dad, Ning Xiaobei, at a loss for words.

“As far as the school’s concerned, it’s all the same anyway.”

Ning Xiaobei’s mood dipped, completely different from how he’d felt that morning when they’d just come out of the hotel.

He glanced at Fan Xia and, while no one was looking, pressed his hand against Fan Xia’s beneath the loose sleeve of his tracksuit. Fan Xia immediately pressed back. Hidden under the table, they each held a paper cup of coffee, pretending to admire the scenery.

“Hey, who do you think reported Teacher Gu and Teacher Peng? That person’s seriously vicious.”

Their arms swayed lightly under the table.

Speaking of which, Teacher Gu really had rotten luck; just when his year-end honors and talent recruitment quota were about to be secured, everything went up in smoke.

According to Wen Di, not long after Ning Xiaobei and the others graduated, at the start of the new term, a report letter was delivered to the principal’s mailbox; a thing that had been hanging outside the principal’s office for years, doing nothing but collecting dust. The only time anyone ever used it was when students played pranks, tossing in nails or coins. Who would seriously submit a letter there?

And yet, one day after the term began, as the principal tilted his head back with a teacup to rinse his mouth, he noticed a small corner of paper sticking out from the long-unopened slot.

Thrilled, the principal immediately dragged over a stool, dug out the key from some forgotten corner of his drawer, and opened the mailbox, along with a Pandora’s box.

“They were photo of Old Gu and Xiao Peng. Those two fools didn’t even realize they’d been photographed so many times.”

As he said this, Boss Wen’s face was full of contempt.

These days, was there anything more detestable than people who loved to report others at the drop of a hat and ruin their future?

From Wen Di’s account, Ning Xiaobei concluded that the photos must have been taken during the campus lockdown in March; when Brother Kai and Teacher Peng had nowhere to go and were forced to sleep on makeshift bedding in the art room.

Those two really had it coming; the art classroom just happened to face the teachers’ academic building. Although the curtains had been kept drawn since people were staying inside, if someone was determined to set them up, how could they not find an opportunity?

However, whoever did this was truly something else. The photos were taken back in March, yet they held onto them until September; waiting until the school was preparing its fourth-quarter evaluations before exposing everything. It was obvious they didn’t intend to leave Brother Kai any way out, not even letting him make it to the end of the year. This was a real cutting off every path of retreat.

As for who reported them, just wait until next year when the lists of Outstanding Young Teachers or talent recruitment candidates are publicly posted. One glance and it’ll be obvious. No wonder when they asked around at school, every teacher, including the old gatekeeper, kept their mouths shut. They had to guard against that person too.

“Xiaobei, are you scared?”

Fan Xia leaned his head against Ning Xiaobei.

“Do you think… one day, someone might use the same method to hurt us?”

Fan Xia had been genuinely shaken today.

Before this, everything he knew about homosexuality came from his uncle and Ning Xiaobei’s father, at most with the addition of the film 《Happy Together.》 From what he’d seen, his uncle and Ning Xiaobei’s father were just ordinary partners living a simple life. Their relationship was less complicated than his own dad’s history with more than a dozen girlfriends, less diverse than his mom’s string of foreign boyfriends, and nowhere near as dramatic as Auntie Wang upstairs. Even the age-gap couple of Auntie Xiao Mei and Mr. Zhou seemed more interesting. And yet, simply because they were the same sex, everything about them was treated as a sin.

“If that day really comes, what will you do?”

Ning Xiaobei shot him a sideways glance that made Fan Xia’s heart itch again.

“I’ll fight the whole world for you. I swear!”

Fan Xia lifted their arms excitedly.

Ning Xiaobei lowered his head with a faint smile, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

“Boss, I love you. Do you love me?”

He wrapped his arms around Ning Xiaobei’s shoulders, and the two of them waddled forward like a pair of little penguins.

“Alright, beat CET-4 first before you talk big. Have you done the past exam papers I bought you? I’m telling you, your task is to pass both CET-4 and CET-6¹CET-4 / CET-6 (College English Test Bands 4 and 6) — Standardized English proficiency exams widely taken by Chinese university students; often seen as important academic milestones in one go. Right next to my German class there’s a prep course for them, how about signing up for one?”

After a couple of steps, Ning Xiaobei flicked his foot back and kicked at Fan Xia’s pant leg. “Walk properly.”

“I’m trying to be romantic here and you’re talking to me about CET exams…”

Fan Xia had just stood up with a bitter expression when Ning Xiaobei’s phone rang.

“Yangyang, what’s wrong…? Say something—why are you crying?”

After hanging up, Ning Xiaobei looked at Fan Xia, his lips moving slightly.

“Ding Zheyang was dumped by Lele… they broke up.”

………………

Author’s Note:

Fan Xia: Boss, I love you!

Xiaobei: What comes after abandon² Abandon is often the first word for Chinese students memorizing English vocabulary lists for CETs?

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• 1
  CET-4 / CET-6 (College English Test Bands 4 and 6) — Standardized English proficiency exams widely taken by Chinese university students; often seen as important academic milestones
• 2
  Abandon is often the first word for Chinese students memorizing English vocabulary lists for CETs