CFHE Chapter 75

Wen Yu reached out to embrace him back.

 

Hugs were magical things, especially hugs from lovers—they soothed both body and soul. Wen Yu rested his chin on Fu Yuhan’s shoulder and gently nuzzled: “Actually, it’s okay. I don’t really want to cry. I just… wanted to explain to you.”

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Fu Yuhan; it was just a habitual self-protection.

 

The “fairy tale love” he had believed in since childhood became a mirage. From that moment on, he seemed to stop believing that humans could overcome their base nature in this regard. Admittedly, he was a very smart person who realized his problems early on, but… correction was difficult.

 

It was as if a part inside his body was broken. He could see it, but had no clue how to treat it. He could only watch helplessly as that black hole rotted and decayed, oozing pitch-black sludge from within.

 

To avoid scaring people, and also because of his father’s demands, he carefully used what he thought was perfect disguise to keep others at a distance.

 

A string in his heart was jumping anxiously, slightly painful. Fu Yuhan held him even tighter.

 

He wanted to apologize to Wen Yu, to say he had misunderstood him; he also wanted to comfort him, but unfortunately couldn’t think of appropriate words.

 

In the end, he didn’t say these things, instead nuzzling against Wen Yu’s neck and saying softly: “I’ll stay with you, Yu-ge. Try to start believing from me.”

 

“Really?” Wen Yu said, “But I’m a terrible person. I’m petty, dark, malicious, always finding ways to bully you. Maybe after spending time with me, you’ll discover I’m not as good as you imagined and you’ll be scared away…”

 

He didn’t finish because Fu Yuhan’s body shook and he let out a muffled laugh through his nose.

 

“What are you laughing at?”

 

“Yu-ge, we’ve known each other for two and a half years.” Fu Yuhan said, “We’ve been classmates for half a year too. We’ve spent quite a bit of time together.”

 

“…” Wen Yu opened his mouth, suddenly realizing how quickly time had passed.

 

“Although ‘courtesy before force’ is a good habit, you’re really not as terrible as you say you are.” Fu Yuhan laughed softly, “Wen Yu, you’re a very good person, especially, especially, especially, especially good.”

 

Wen Yu trembled, his lips mumbling: “Compared to… Yang Fan?”

 

“…”

 

Fu Yuhan leaned back, looked at him in the weak light of that small lamp in the room, and sighed helplessly: “Yu-ge.”

 

“Sorry.” Wen Yu lowered his eyes, “…I should have trusted you.”

 

Yang Fan was a very good person, otherwise Wen Yu wouldn’t be friends with him either.

 

He understood this, but the uncertainty in his heart still made him ask that question.

 

“You’re my boyfriend now.”

 

Knowing about Wen Yu’s mother’s situation, the “disappointment” in his heart suddenly transformed into heartache and understanding. Fu Yuhan silently thought “if that’s the case, then I’ll just have to do a little more,” while gently beginning to speak.

 

“The person with me is you, the person who accompanies me every day is you, the person who took me in when I had nowhere to go was you… there’s so much more, Yu-ge. When I needed someone to save me, Yang Fan wasn’t there—you were the one who pulled me out of despair.”

 

Wen Yu looked up.

 

As Fu Yuhan spoke, his eyes became a bit sore—counting the past few months, he suddenly realized that Wen Yu had already left strong and clear traces in his life. His eyes reddened, but the corners of his mouth were smiling as he said hoarsely, word by word: “The day you came to Third High, I asked you to meet at the empty building. When you came, it happened to be evening.”

 

That beam of orange-gold sunset light came through the windows on the other half of the empty building’s first floor as always, falling at Wen Yu’s feet.

 

The first time Fu Yuhan looked back at him, he was standing in the light.

 

His whole person seemed fluffy.

 

That day, after Fu Yuhan’s most important hobby had been habitually denied many times by his mother and denied again, after three boxes of old paintings sold as waste paper became the last straw that broke the camel’s back, when he was sitting in the empty building, for a few seconds, he had thought about death.

 

Then he saw that person glowing with light.

 

Perhaps that scene gave Fu Yuhan some inspiration. Even though Wen Yu had verbally provoked him, his mood was much better than when he was sitting alone.

 

He still wanted to live.

 

He still wanted to draw.

 

He still wanted… to fight with this person for many more years.

 

“To me, you walked in stepping on light. I seemed to have lived alone for a long time. Yang Fan was good to everyone—I wasn’t that special, and besides, he couldn’t understand my sexual orientation. Before, whenever it was late at night and quiet, I would feel… I was always alone, my world was dark. Even though I tried to paint many colors, they could only live on paper.”

 

“Do you know how important it is to have a number in my contacts that I can call anytime?”

 

Wen Yu was slightly surprised.

 

He had even turned off his phone for a whole night out of spite… thinking about it from the other perspective, if he were Fu Yuhan, he would definitely beat himself to death.

 

“Some words I can only say once—they’re too fucking embarrassing.” Fu Yuhan smiled with tears that were about to fall but hadn’t yet, “I fell for you myself, not because I couldn’t get Yang Fan, and not because you liked me. You’re not Yang Fan’s backup—remember that.”

 

“Xiao Han…” Wen Yu hugged him tightly, his kiss falling on his neck.

 

“I only have this little bit of light, I must hold onto it.” Fu Yuhan buried his head down, tugging at the hem of his sweater, saying softly: “Yu-ge, I really, really like you.”

 

Wen Yu didn’t speak again. At this moment, any words seemed weak and powerless. Only touch, only embraces, only kisses could express his emotions.

 

He was an idiot, through and through.

 

Because of weakness, because of being set in his ways, he never dared to probe further, imprisoning himself.

 

Fortunately, they didn’t miss each other.

 

Because Fu Yuhan was so brave and so sincere, putting down all of the past, mustering courage, and walking toward him completely and wholly.

 

Light kisses fell like fine rain, delicate and dense, lingering and tender. Their breaths intertwined in the small space—this was a hint that there were only the two of them here.

 

Fu Yuhan’s tears finally stopped. He felt he had been really embarrassing lately—the number of times he wanted to cry in one month was more than in the previous ten years.

 

But it felt good.

 

Accumulated emotions were throat-choking poison; only by cutting them out could new life be seen.

 

When he kissed back, he brushed against something foreign on Wen Yu’s neck. Memory instantly returned, and he sniffled and asked puzzledly: “Speaking of which, when did you start wearing this resin ball as a necklace?”

 

“The weekend you gave it to me,” Wen Yu said. “Fifth Brother is a handmade silver jewelry expert. I went to his shop and got a black cord—good thing you made a hole for threading, saving me from having to ask him for help.”

 

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“Wearing a gift you gave me around my neck? Telling you would be no different from confessing.” Wen Yu rolled his eyes at him, then felt a bit embarrassed after saying it. “After all… I had been rejected by you several times before.”

 

“I thought you were joking.” Fu Yuhan said, “Besides, I hadn’t figured myself out at that time either.”

 

“It’s okay,” Wen Yu hugged him, “when I said it, I thought I was joking too.”

 

He was used to not being able to say a few true words, who knew that was a bleeding sincere heart.

 

“Then… for your mother’s death anniversary, do you want to spend more time with her?”

 

“No need, it’s fine. I used to come see her and talk to her when I was in a bad mood.” Wen Yu smiled at this point, “But actually she was a very cheerful person. If she were alive, she definitely wouldn’t have the patience to listen to me spewing black mud.”

 

“I can listen to you.” Fu Yuhan held his hand.

 

“Even if you don’t want to listen, you have to,” Wen Yu said, “I’m the type of person who’s particularly annoying. You’re not running away now? You don’t have a chance anymore, I’m telling you.”

 

Fu Yuhan laughed quietly for a long time.

 

“I won’t run,” he said, pecking Wen Yu on the lips, “and you don’t let go of me either.”

 

“I won’t let go. I said this morning I’d never let go again.” Wen Yu said.

 

–

 

Facts proved that intimate cuddling really consumed a lot of time. No wonder the ancients said “spring nights are too short, rising late, from then on the king no longer held early court.”

 

By the time they leisurely came out of the dark little room, the soup and sweet potato on the table had mostly gone cold.

 

“Do you still want to eat?” Young Master Wen was a bit disgusted by the cold food.

 

“Of course,” Fu Yuhan sat down, “I’m so hungry, I can’t focus on studying without eating something.”

 

Wen Yu: “…”

 

Damn, he had actually forgotten that Fu Yuhan still needed to study.

 

Before, wanting him to go to T University was just because his heart itched.

 

Now, just imagining the two of them not being at the same university in the future made Wen Yu want to go crazy.

 

For the sake of four years of happy life in the future, he decided to restrain his desire to be intimate with Fu Yuhan.

 

The two shared the roasted sweet potato and the soup that Auntie had made. Wen Yu volunteered to clear the table and sat down with Fu Yuhan.

 

Since his boyfriend was reviewing, he couldn’t slack off either. After finishing his homework with nothing else to do, he took out the competition problem collection that Zhou Wenkang had given him and slowly worked through it.

 

Senior year students never went to bed early, but Wen Yu wasn’t the type to study to death and never advocated overworking. At 1 AM, he glanced at the wall clock and poked Fu Yuhan with his finger: “Stop reviewing, go shower, time to sleep.”

 

“Mm?” Fu Yuhan instinctively looked at his left wrist, “Ah, it’s so late already.”

 

With the floor heating on indoors, he was only wearing a thin sweater, his slender wrist with clear bone structure exposed, the star-studded watch face glittering under the desk lamp light.

 

Wen Yu felt he was somewhat sick—seeing the deliberately chosen couple’s gift worn on the other person without being taken off gave him inexplicable satisfaction.

 

He lightly licked his teeth: “Yeah, go shower quickly.”

 

“Wait, I haven’t figured out this problem yet.” Fu Yuhan said, “I’ll go after I understand it.”

 

“Which problem?” Wen Yu leaned over, embracing his waist from behind and to the side, his burning breath gently puffing against his ear, “Should I help you look?”

 

The deliberately lowered voice came from his boyfriend’s mouth, and right now it was 1 AM.

 

Late at night, deep and quiet, with no one around.

 

Fu Yuhan felt he was a man with perfectly normal bodily functions.

 

He covered his burning ears and ran into the bathroom: “Not looking anymore!”

 

Wen Yu laughed so hard in the living room that he fell over.

 

–

 

Fu Yuhan’s earlier words seemed to have given him a reassuring pill.

 

He put away the extra bedding he had specially taken out to accommodate Fu Yuhan staying over, and after both of them had showered, he crawled into the same blanket with his boyfriend.

 

Finally being able to openly sleep in each other’s arms, Wen Yu was actually a bit excited. He reached over to embrace Fu Yuhan’s waist, his nose tip lightly sniffing around the other’s ear, neck side, and neck hollow.

 

His still slightly damp hair rubbed against Fu Yuhan’s face, making his nose terribly itchy. Unable to bear it any longer, he pushed Wen Yu’s head away: “Are you a dog?”

 

“Xiao Han,” Wen Yu sniffed, “from now on, shower at my place, okay?”

 

“Huh?” Fu Yuhan was stunned.

 

“Wash your clothes here too.” Wen Yu said, “I’ve wanted to say this for a long time—I don’t like you having other scents on you.”

 

“…” Fu Yuhan blinked, somewhat confused, “Are you even jealous of body wash?”

 

“I just like you using the same scented things as me, whatever they are.” Wen Yu grabbed his hand and lightly bit the tip of his index finger, “I told you, I’m both dark and malicious. If you’re not prepared…”

 

Fu Yuhan pulled his finger back and chuckled: “What’s the big deal? I never said I disagreed—should I turn off the lights?”

 

“Mm.”

 

“Good night.” Fu Yuhan pressed the bedside lamp switch.

 

Wen Yu quietly reached over: “Not good night.”

 

“…? Didn’t you say you wouldn’t do anything?”

 

“Just kissing you a few times.”

 

It’s just that this night was so long, he could still kiss for a very long time.

 

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 (advanced chapters available on kofi)