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RA Chapter 46

Zhao Qin asked for a single ward. The window was slightly opened and the vase on the windowsill was empty.

 

After the doctor and nurse left, only Su Beimo and Liao Nanqing were left in the ward. It was just less than four days apart, but their state of mind had changed drastically.

 

Exhaustion crushed them, and silence became a most appropriate rest.

 

In between the anxiety, he slept shallowly, opening his eyes every now and then and resting his gaze on the light-colored ceiling. He had an IV drip in one hand and the other hand was cold, held by Su Beimo. Liao Nanqing twitched slightly in Su Beimo’s palm with little force, and Su Beimo’s grip became tighter.

 

From the time he left the basement, Liao Nanqing did not say a word, as if he was running away from something.

 

Outside the ward, Su Ya came in a hurry. She just glanced at the appearance of Liao Nanqing from outside, and started crying uncomfortably.

 

Su Jing was forbidden to go near Liao Nanqing, because Liao Nanqing would tremble at the mere sight of Su Jing. He was subconsciously afraid of Su Jing, afraid that Su Jing would send him to Zhang Yuangang again. Even when Su Jing was full of regret and wanted to apologize to Liao Nanqing, he was not allowed.

 

In the words of Su Beimo, what’s the point of apologizing now? You will only scare him.

 

Su Jing was stubborn, Su Beimo was also stubborn in his bones, the two fathers and sons were in a fight, cold and uncompromising with each other.

 

Finally, Su Jing was driven home by Zhao Qin: “If you don’t want your son to hate you for the rest of his life, you should be more quiet these days. We will talk about everything later. Can’t you see what Liao Nanqing is like? Su Jing, no one wants their children to go down the wrong path, but the way to correct it must not be to sacrifice others to make yourself whole.”

 

“I didn’t! I gave the money because I wanted them to send him abroad…” Su Jing defended.

 

“Whether he will be sent abroad or not, you know best in your heart, don’t you? You just messed up in order to achieve your goal, there’s nothing hard about admitting a mistake, Su Jing.” Zhao Qin said disappointedly, “I will stay here in the near future, on Beimo’s side. You just let me handle it. Don’t you understand in your heart how you father and son will end up in the end if you continue to be in a stalemate?”

 

Su Jing did not want to listen to Zhao Qin, but right now he knew that he would not be forgiven no matter what, so he had to listen to her advice. Finally, he hovered in place, trying his best to help: “Nanqing’s medical expenses, I’ll…”

 

Zhao Qin pointed out: “No need, Beimo himself is not short of money. You just listen to me, let the two children calm down first.”

 

Su Ya on the side wiped her tears, complaining that Su Jing didn’t discuss things with her, and made such a decision hastily, which caused Liao Nanqing to be like this and almost disappeared.

 

The child who was just a freshman, who had been well, suddenly lay on the hospital bed with injuries all over his body. Su Ya felt extremely uncomfortable. After Su Jing left, she said to Zhao Qin mournfully: “How did you say it became like this?”

 

“Your brother is a stinking rock. You are also acting uncharacteristically, hiding it all from me.” Zhao Qin hugged her shoulders.

 

Su Ya didn’t refute, she was not like Su Jing, having a bad temper. If she knew that Su Jing would contact Li Qin, Su Ya would definitely stop it, she blamed herself for not finding out in time: “This child Nanqing has been suffering since he was a child, but still has to take this path. How difficult it is to go.”

 

Zhao Qin took a deep breath and didn’t answer.

 

Su Ya said to herself: “I don’t have to oppose their affairs, but the road is too difficult to walk. They are all young. What can they do if they regret later?”

 

“Then wait until they regret it.”

 

After Zhao Qin finished speaking, Su Ya looked up stupidly, and Zhao Qin explained: “Look at this situation, can you split them? If you split them again, the two children probably won’t live. This is meaningless, A’Ya”

 

Su Ya turned away and sighed: “I’m just afraid that mom won’t be able to accept it. Mom is too old, but she’s not stupid. These days, she always asks me what happened, and I always feel as if she is aware of something. It’s almost the New Year; sooner or later I can’t hide the fact that Nanqing was injured.”

 

“Let them be together. The old lady’s side, it can be hidden for as long as possible.” But Zhao Qin also said, “The old lady is actually an enlightened person, she was before.”

 

Su Ya remained silent, stabilized her emotions and went to the ward. Then she went home and cooked some pine nut porridge and delivered it in a thermos. She told Su Beimo to feed Liao Nanqing slowly when Liao Nan woke up, and not to feed him too quickly.

 

However, after experiencing a nightmare, Liao Nanqing fell asleep for the second time and was uneasy. After sleeping for only a while, Liao Nanqing opened his eyes again. At this time it should be afternoon. He broke out in a cold sweat, and he couldn’t remember what he had dreamed of. His muddled mind was empty and his lips were dry and sore.

 

Su Beimo was still the only person in the ward with him. Someone else might have come in between, but Liao Nanqing didn’t know who would come to see him. Su Beimo still held his hand, as if he had never let go of it.

 

The curtains in the ward did not cover the windows, and the sunlight fell in warmly, but Liao Nanqing could not feel its warmth. He moved his lips, Su Beimo immediately poured a cup of warm water and slowly fed him a few sips with a spoon.

 

“Do you want to sleep some more? The doctor said you need to get more rest.” Su Beimo brushed aside the slightly long hair on his forehead and softened his voice, “Or are you hungry? There’s some porridge, want to eat? It’s your favorite pine nut porridge, it’s delicious.”

 

Liao Nanqing shook his head, not even daring to swallow warm water loudly, and carefully looked around, his eyes never daring to fall on Su Beimo’s face. His arm still had an IV drip, and Liao Nanqing wilfully closed his eyes, wanting to sleep but unable to do so. His mind was a mess, slightly aching.

 

“Do you want some more water?” Su Beimo asked him.

 

Liao Nanqing unconsciously opened his mouth. Su Beimo followed him, and once again got some warm water to moisten his throat, not feeding him too much, he was not suitable to drink so much water at once. Liao Nanqing licked his still dry lips like a kitten, and Su Beimo naturally bowed his head and kissed him.

 

Liao Nanqing froze, and only then did his gaze fall on Su Beimo’s body and face little by little.

 

In the clear light, he saw Su Beimo’s scruffy mess, and his usual handsome appearance had disappeared. How was it that after only a few days of not seeing each other, Su Beimo was just like a bum. Liao Nanqing’s eyes were slightly red and he struggled to move.

 

“Don’t move.” Su Beimo said, “Let me look at you.”

 

Liao Nanqing opened his mouth ‘ah’, his hoarse throat was hard to hear. A little moisture seeped out of the corners of his eyes, and he strained to purse his lips.

 

After many hours of silence, Liao Nanqing finally spoke up in Su Beimo’s distressed eyes, “I’m… ugly now.”

 

The voice was astringent, and it had an inexplicable taste.

 

He was beaten with a series of bruises on his face, and his right eye was swollen. It was really ugly.

 

Su Beimo sniffled and kissed the back of his hand, “It’s okay, I don’t look good either.”

 

Knowing that he was comforting him, Liao Nanqing’s heart felt like cotton being pricked with needles and pins. Being treated with pain for so many days, he once again reunited with Su Beimo’s tenderness, and suddenly his nose was sore, gritting his teeth not wanting to cry out. It was like he had experienced a long nightmare, and at this moment, the light fell in again, extremely unfamiliar. Liao Nanqing curled his knuckles in fear, desperately wanting to retain more, but did not know what to do.

 

Because he knew that as long as he didn’t touch him, he wouldn’t long for him.

 

And once he longed for it, it would be stripped again. It was the pain of pulling out the bone and filling the heart.

 

“Does it still hurt?” Su Beimo didn’t notice his uneasiness.

 

Liao Nanqing nodded his head gently.

 

Su Beimo looked at him with trembling eyelashes, and his eyes were wet again and again. He wiped his face messily, the pain in his heart had nowhere to vent, suppressing it again and again. In the end, he was childishly angry with Liao Nanqing: “When they came looking for you, you should have hid, how could you trust them…”

 

Liao Nanqing dropped his eyes in loneliness, his thoughts were swept into a whirlpool, and he put a lock on his voice.

 

Su Beimo’s heart ached, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been mean to you.”

 

Liao Nanqing still kept his mouth shut, he didn’t even want to say one more word to Su Beimo. Only tears soaked the pillow, and he stared blankly at the ceiling in a daze.

 

“I’m sorry, Nanqing. I’m not good, it’s my fault.” Su Beimo held his hand tightly and kissed the back of his hand helplessly, his warm lips stained with salty and bitter tears. He blamed his immaturity and went to coax Liao Nanqing, “Let’s drink some porridge, okay, you will be hungry, just a little bit, okay?”

 

Only then did Liao Nanqing react slightly.

 

At this moment, outside the ward, Zhao Qin saw the confused state of her son and coughed awkwardly.

 

Su Beimo turned his head, did not let go of Liao Nanqing’s hand, and wiped his face with the other hand casually:

 

“Mom.”

 

As soon as the words fell, Liao Nanqing instantly shrank up nervously, not even daring to breathe loudly. He lowered his head, subconsciously pushed Su Beimo away and struggled to lean to the side a little. In order to pull out his hand, Liao Nanqing made a full effort. Afraid of hurting him, Su Beimo immediately let go of his hand.

 

Zhao Qin also did not expect that Liao Nanqing would be resisting her so much, so she had to hook a finger, indicating Su Beimo to come out and talk.

 

Su Beimo refused, “Mom, I’ll feed Nanqing some porridge first, we’ll talk later.”

 

Zhao Qin had no choice: “I’ll just delay you for a few minutes.”

 

Su Beimo thought about it and finally touched Liao Nanqing’s shoulder, “Nanqing, I’m going out for a while, I’ll be right back.”

 

Liao Nanqing closed his mouth tightly and didn’t say anything, the bottom of his eyes were empty. He stiffly clutched the sheet, trying not to tremble, but at the moment Su Beimo walked out of the ward and closed the door, he was completely panicked. His throat felt like it was being pinched, and he couldn’t breathe, so Liao Nanqing whimpered in pain.

 

Slowly, he covered his heart and kept reassuring himself, over and over: “It’s okay…it’s okay…”

 

“We will not separate…not separate…”

 

But Liao Nanqing’s mind kept recalling the two words that Li Qin said——’wrong, wrong’.

 

 

Su Beimo and Zhao Qin outside did not know that in just a few seconds, Liao Nanqing inside would be thinking about these two, so they were still talking unhurriedly.

 

But Su Beimo urged, “Mom, Nanqing is still waiting for me.”

 

“Just delay you a few minutes only, ah.” Zhao Qin held her forehead, completely speechless because of his son, “I just want to talk to you, I want to take him to see a psychiatrist. I happen to have a friend who is a specialist in this area, right in City B.”

 

Su Beimo was not very happy.

 

“You don’t give me that expression yet. Just because of his experience in the past few days and the shadow of his childhood, it is difficult for him to have no psychological problems. It’s not showing now, but slowly there are sequelae.”

 

“It’s not easy for him to return to City B like this.”

 

Zhao Qin nodded: “Treat here for a few days first, then I will go back to City B with you. Someone has to fill in the hole that your father poked. ”

 

When it came to Su Jing, Su Beimo was impatient. Zhao Qin knew that he was upset, so she stopped talking. Su Beimo was actually very grateful to Zhao Qin for her help. He remembered something and asked: “Mom, did you know about my relationship with Nanqing last time?”

 

“Aware, but I wasn’t sure.”

 

“But why did you…because you didn’t do anything to stop it.” Su Beimo hadn’t thought that Zhao Qin was a mother who was enlightened to such an extent, and it seemed incredible that she had accepted it all at once.

 

But indeed, Su Beimo had misunderstood.

 

“I didn’t accept it. What parent in today’s society would be happy and open to the idea that their child is gay. I’m helping you deal with this now because it involves the well-being of another human being. After that, I still want to talk to you calmly and peacefully, including Liao Nanqing together.”

 

Zhao Qin showed her cards, she said seriously, “Sexual orientation is not wrong, but in a clockwise society, choosing to go counterclockwise is very difficult. In this era, a marriage certificate can’t guarantee and promise the freshness of feelings. How can your relationship be maintained for a long time? If one day, you get tired of each other…”

 

“I know.” Su Beimo stuck his hands into his pants pocket, interrupting Zhao Qin as he tilted his head slightly, “But I love him, or at least I understand very clearly now that I love him very much and can’t lose him.”

 

“Beimo…” Zhao Qin’s head hurts.

 

Su Beimo said firmly, “Mom, I don’t want to regret anymore.”

 

Zhao Qin understood that Su Beimo could not listen to her words at all now. She didn’t want to say anything else, and everyone needed a cooling-off period. But there was one thing that she wanted Su Beimo to listen to her: “Leave the matter of Zhang Yuangang to me.”

 

“I have plans of my own.”

 

“What plan? Tell those loan sharks about his whereabouts?”

 

Knowing her mother, Su Beimo pinched his fist and didn’t speak. Zhao Qin patiently said, “You just said that you love Liao Nanqing, but what’s the difference between what you did and what Liao Nanqing’s imprisoned father did? Wrong way, wrong love, what kind of childhood his father left him, didn’t you see the results?”

 

Su Beimo replied irritably, “What I do will not be that serious.”

 

“How is it not serious? If your actions indirectly lead to the death of Zhang Yuangang, you absolutely can not get away with it. No matter who it is, if you break the law, you will definitely pay the price. You leave the matter to me, I’ll handle it. Illegal detention and intentional injury are enough to put him in jail.” Zhao Qin didn’t intend to continue to argue with Su Beimo. She made it clear, “I’m your mother, I won’t let you make these mistakes that you shouldn’t make. Zhang Yuangang is indeed a bad person, but the law will sanction him, not you. Wielding a butcher’s knife without permission is a matter of intent. Although it is a momentary pleasure, the subsequent trouble is beyond your control.”

 

Back then, if Liao Nanqing’s father could understand this and choose to bravely take them to escape from here.

 

Then, would Liao Nanqing life be different?

 

 


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