Liao Nanqing’s college entrance exam score was unexpectedly higher than any previous mock exam that even he himself was surprised. With this score, he could fill in the second choice in City B, but his choice of major would be limited. Accompanied by Su Beimo, Liao Nanqing thought for a long time, and finally chose an unpopular major that he didn’t hate relatively, and filled out his application.
The day was not yet hot, the breeze was gusty, and the grass on school had experienced a sharp rain, mixed with the fresh smell of the earth.
When Liao Nanqing walked out of the school gate, Su Beimo waved at him with a bottle of cold water.
The moment the sweaty bottle reached the palm of the hand, the temperature dropped to the green grass where the raindrops belonged. Liao Nanqing unscrewed the lid and took two sips slowly.
“I booked two tickets for tomorrow morning, we still have to tidy it up when we get there.” Su Beimo was in a happy mood. Starting today, they were going to end their semester-long long distance relationship. After filling out his application, Liao Nanqing decided to follow Su Beimo to live in City B.
For this reason, Su Beimo was in a hurry to change the house. It was an apartment very close to the company, with a kitchenette and balcony. The monthly rent was not cheap, but it was very suitable for two people. Before Liao Nanqing’s college entrance examination, Su Beimo planned to change to a slightly larger house so that Liao Nanqing could come and live permanently, and finally took advantage of the salary increase card and rented it while gritting his teeth.1一咬牙 (gritting one’s teeth) – make up a difficult/painful decision
“The apartment is not far from the school you apply to, so you can apply to live off-campus and come home to live every day when the time comes.” Su Beimo used the word ‘come home’ in a very subtle way, and Liao Nanqing felt a crisp sweetness in his heart.
Liao Nanqing was shy: “But I don’t know if I will be accepted, although the major is not popular.”
“Will be accepted.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Su Beimo shrugged his shoulders, saying: “Don’t you see who is helping you with your tutoring this semester?”
Liao Nanqing smiled very happily, two small dimples loomed: “I’ll go to City B to find a summer job, so that I will not be bored when you go to work, and I can save up tuition.” He was not afraid of hard work at all; now Liao Nanqing was full of expectations for the future, just like a young eagle learning to fly, wanting to spread his wings.
In fact, Su Beimo could help Liao Nanqing pay for his tuition, but Liao Nanqing was unwilling to do so and insisted on working on his own. If Su Beimo forced him to accept the tuition fee, he would write an IOU, and he would still go to work in order to pay the debt.
Although he had become his lover, Liao Nanqing always warned himself that he couldn’t rely on Su Beimo for everything, he should learn to be independent when he was able to.
Once he had this idea, it was difficult to change it.
Su Beimo was not against it.
“I’m going home to stay tonight. I have relatives coming over, so we have to eat together.” Su Beimo said when he remembered about it.
Liao Nanqing was lost: “Okay.”
“Why, we’ll be able to see each other every day from now on.” He sighed, “Every day, every day, do you think you’ll get tired of looking at me?”
Knowing that Su Beimo was joking, Liao Nanqing replied with a clear voice, “No, I won’t get tired of looking at you.”
Su Beimo listened with great pride and his steps were light and fast. He never hid his naivety about love in front of Liao Nanqing, and he liked Liao Nanqing’s straightforwardness.
The two of them walked on a quiet road after the rain, chatting one after another. Liao Nanqing wanted to hold hands, and Su Beimo also wanted to. When there were no passers-by around, Liao Nanqing stretched out his hand first, took Su Beimo’s hand and shook it gently: “Su Beimo.”
Su Beimo stopped and kissed him: “What are you doing?”
Liao Nanqing smiled and said, “A little happy.”
Su Beimo said, “There are plenty of places for you to have fun in the future, so don’t get excited about this little matter of living together. Otherwise, you will be suffocated if I do something romantic in the future.” He said that, but his heart never stopped feeling tingly. Su Beimo held Liao Nanqing’s hand, his fingers interlocked. He stepped slowly forward, smiling every time he took a few steps.
One step, two step, three step, four step.
Liao Nanqing found it and giggled along with it.
One step, two step, three step, four step.
It was synchronized.
At night, Liao Nanqing was lying on the bed and shaking his feet. Before he could dry his hair after washing, he held the phone and replied to Su Beimo’s message. At 7 o’clock tomorrow morning, they made an appointment to go to the station together. This was the first time in Liao Nanqing’s and Su Beimo’s life that they would ride the train together.
Liao Nanqing rolled over, anticipation mixed with a few moments of nervousness.
To this day, he still felt that everything he experienced was like a beautiful dream. Even leaving the town, all walking along the road in this dream world. The words on the phone screen were square and read out in a round accent. Liao Nanqing stared at it and read the closing message Su Beimo sent him, one word at a time: “See,you,tomorrow,at,seven…”
There was joy in every tone.
Liao Nanqing pursed the corner of his mouth, overflowing with a hint of sweetness.
He whispered to himself: “Good night, Su Beimo .”
However, in the next second, Liao Nanqing received an unfamiliar call.
Except for Su Beimo and some advertisement calls, almost no one called Liao Nanqing. Besides, he didn’t know the number, so Liao Nanqing hung up.
However, within half a minute, the phone rang again. Liao Nanqing picked it up in confusion, but after hearing the voice, the whole person seemed to lose his color. After a long time, he replied timidly: “Mom…”
At 7 o’clock the next day, Liao Nanqing and Su Beimo did not meet at the station.
The location was changed to a humble snack bar in the center of the city. Liao Nanqing came alone. The snack bar was narrow, with a stale atmosphere, and you could see all of it at a glance. Liao Nanqing walked to the door and saw his mother Li Qin sitting in the corner. She was wearing a thin black coat, her haggard eyes were not radiant, and she was so thin that she was sinking into her shadow.
There were very few people in the snack bar, Liao Nanqing went to sit opposite of Li Qin, relatively speechless.
It had been a long time since Lin Qin sat down with Liao Nanqing alone to eat a meal.
Because Liao Nanqing’s stepfather rejected him very much, he was unwilling to have dinner with him at the same table. Every time Liao Nanqing came home from school, he usually waited for a plate of leftovers in the cold living room. Occasionally, when having dinner together, Li Qin would take Liao Nanqing’s share out and let him go back to his room to eat.
Liao Nanqing’s room at his stepfather’s house was a small utility room with a 1.2-meter single bed, no desk, and no lamp. The stacked cardboard boxes emitted a damp, musty smell, and Li Qin used a thick cloth to cover them up and put Liao Nanqing’s meals on a cardboard box with a plate.
Li Qin cooked delicious food, Liao Nanqing had been eating since childhood, but from the year she remarried, Liao Nanqing always felt that the food was not palatable.
More often than not, during the holidays, Liao Nanqing would always look for a place to work and stay outside during the day. When there was a break in the part-time job, Liao Nanqing would usually go to the bookstore for an afternoon. Not to read, but to find a corner to take a nap.
He didn’t want to ‘go home’, no one at home welcomed him, not even his mother. It seemed that she could catch his breath if he didn’t go home.
At that time, Li Qin had very long hair, her figure was slender, and her long hair covered her gentle side face in the past, and her voice was always weak.
She often said: “Nanqing, you should be more obedient and don’t offend others.”
Liao Nanqing then tried to speak as little as possible to reduce his presence. During the eight years, what he heard most was Li Qin’s sigh. He was terribly afraid of this sound, as if when it sounded, endless sorrows poured into his thoughts, and those past griefs would repeat itself countless times.
They were mother and son, a bond that held each other to the past.
As long as they met, they could see all the mistakes of that year from each other. So Li Qin was avoiding him; Liao Nanqing had always known, he resented, did not understand, and gradually let go of it over time. They had not had an easy time since the accident, there was no point to resent and complain.
Like a reunion after a long time, Li Qin’s haggard face showed a different look, unable to say whether it was missing or excited.
She called out to him, “Nanqing, you seem to have grown a little taller, and your face looks much better.”
Liao Nanqing lowered his head awkwardly, as if mute, unable to make a single tone, and he was not good at words. His hands were holding each other, the nail of his right thumb pinching the index finger of his left hand.
“Would you like something to eat?” Li Qin naturally noticed Liao Nanqing’s movements and sensed his trepidation. This was the child she gave birth to in June,2I’m not sure, in the raw, the author write october here, but in the author note the author said his birthday is on June 12th, and SBM also celebrated his bday after the Gaokao in the last chapter. Gaokao is usually on June so maybe typo?? what temper and what nature he had developed, she knew best about it. Today, Li Qin more and more felt that Liao Nanqing was like his father, Liao Dong. What flashed through her mind was the face of Liao Dong before he was imprisoned, pale, cold, and looking insane.
She took a deep breath and said anxiously: “Mom gives you a bowl of noodles. Don’t you like it the most?”
Liao Nanqing looked at her, and for a moment, he lowered his eyes: “I’m not hungry.” He didn’t like eating noodles a long time ago.
Li Qin was silent for a long time, and then she complained aloud, “Does he still refuse you to visit him?”
This ‘he’ was referring to Liao Nanqing’s father, Liao Dong.
Liao Nanqing nodded, then shook his head: “I haven’t been there for a long time either, I don’t know, last time dad said he doesn’t want me to go again.”
Li Qin’s nose was sore, she didn’t overdo it and wiped her tears, she also had no appetite. Since both of them couldn’t eat, it was better to speak frankly. Of course Li Qin didn’t come just because she wanted to see her son. She took out a thick envelope from her bag, putting it in front of Liao Nanqing and finally talking after a while: “If you plan to go to university, you can use the money in it to pay your tuition. If you don’t plan to continue studying, you can use the money in it to learn something so that you can work. ”
Her eyes were dim, just like Liao Naqing’s at the beginning.
Liao Nanqing stared blankly at the envelope and suddenly pursed his lips tightly.
“Your Uncle Zhang has lost a lot of money in doing business with people, and mom can’t get more… Nanqing, in the future, in the future, I can’t give you living expenses anymore.” She said with difficulty. The rough and thin hands pushed the envelope forward again.
Liao Nanqing clenched his fist and did not move.
She was planning to stop meeting Liao Nanqing, but she was more uncomfortable than anyone else. This was the flesh that fell from her body. It was supposed to be the closest existence, but it brought her misfortune again and again. In the subconscious, she had long treated Liao Nanqing as a calamity.
The ex-husband was imprisoned for debt and murder, making her suffer, and now her husband was treating her harshly because of her past marriage.
Everyone said she was the wife of a murderer, the surrounding neighborhood pointed fingers, indifference and spitefulness followed, and rumors were a blunt weapon that made her point all the fingers at her young son.
It was Liao Nanqing who provoked all this, and it was him who brought the Liao family a devastating blow.
Liao Nanqing was also a victim. He was her son, and she did not protect him.
She was guilty, sad, and depressed to the extreme. Slowly, she began to avoid him.
Li Qin had been living in such a dilemma all these years, and the reality has long crushed her. She began to become silent, and after having a new child, she neglected Liao Nanqing who was in need of maternal love and guidance. She pushed Liao Nanqing away step by step, and finally chose to send living expenses to drive him back to the source of evil, the town.
Liao Nanqing’s eyes were reddish, so astringent that there were no tears.
He didn’t say anything, and his heart was sad but it seemed that he had known this scene a long time ago. He couldn’t say whether he was frank or calm, he actually accepted Li Qin’s true purpose so easily.
Li Qin wanted to abandon him completely.
Seeing that Liao Nanqing was indifferent, Li Qin hastily stood up and bent over in an extremely lousy position. She tried to force that envelope into his hand, forcing Liao Nanqing to compromise, her voice trembling and choking: “Nanqing, don’t blame your mother, don’t blame, okay?”
Liao Nanqing still clenched his fist, unwilling to let go in the slightest, and unwilling to accept the envelope.
It seemed that if he took it, he would not have a mother anymore. But if he didn’t take it, he wouldn’t have a mother either.
He opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but at that moment, he saw Li Qin’s long sleeves, and the scars were looming. Liao Nanqing couldn’t be more familiar with these bruises. Knowing that he had seen it, Li Qin hurriedly pulled her sleeve down, trembling, trying to stuff the money into Liao Nanqing’s hand.
“What did he do to you?” Liao Nanqing said dumbly.
Li Qin was stunned, and immediately said, “It was my own carelessness. Don’t worry about it… Take the money.”
“Is it because he found out that you sent me money?” Liao Nanqing stared at Li Qin, exhausting all his energy.
Li Qin bit her lips, her eyes were red and frightening, her tears fell down one by one. All the misfortunes, the sorrows, all started from Liao Nanqing. She wanted to throw him away! He must be thrown away… This determination made Liao Nanqing’s body terrified.
They both had a bad life, and only by leaving each other could they start their lives over.
Liao Nanqing got cold all over and suddenly recognized the facts. He held Li Qin’s panicked hand and pushed it away with a blank expression on his face: “I don’t blame you, and I don’t want money. I also won’t come to you in the future, is it okay?”
Is it okay?
The author has something to say:
Nanqing birthday is on 6.12
T/N: Sorry for the late update. because I went to office yesterday I thought today is Saturday TT
- 1一咬牙 (gritting one’s teeth) – make up a difficult/painful decision
- 2I’m not sure, in the raw, the author write october here, but in the author note the author said his birthday is on June 12th, and SBM also celebrated his bday after the Gaokao in the last chapter. Gaokao is usually on June so maybe typo??